REVIEW: The Dark TowerBy Quinn OxleyAugust 4, 2017Jake Chambers, eleven, New Yorker, and victim of vivid, strange hallucinations of otherworldly insanity. His mother, stepfather, friends, and counselor believe him to be disturbed, but Jake knows better, knows of the Gunslinger (Idris Elba) and the Man in Black (Matthew McConaughey) and the dark, horrifying things that happen in their world, and the world beyond. Between earthquakes and cryptic drawn clues, Jake walks with Roland on a quest of vengeance and justice.

I don’t know. I guess you could say I wasn’t impressed. More than anything, the acting stands out as pretty half-hearted at the best of times and, at the worst, downright campy. There was very little character development and, in fact, a surprising lack of dialogue. The plot feels like little more than a random collection of things that just just seem to happen. There’s not much of an explanation of how this world works, nor is there much of an intimate backstory for us to become invested in. Not many of these characters are charismatic, and none of them feel real.

I was not charmed by this movie. I watched some stakes-less, unweighty things happen for about an hour and a half.

If that’s your thing, then God bless.

I will say one thing: Idris Elba is awesome. Iconic, not so much. But awesome, definitely. He and Matthew McConaughey don’t have much neme-stry (nemesis chemistry… I’m sorry), but as individuals, they have their appeal in their respective roles. McConaughey is unflinching, and Elba’s tight-lipped gunslinger has some endearing moments once he lands on Keystone Earth. As much as 2011’s Thor works better as a fish-out-of-water tale, Elba makes his mark on both.

I want to know more about this world. I want to meet these characters. I want to be invested! There was so much potential that I’m pretty disappointed that this movie didn’t blow my mind. Perhaps we’ll get a more personal sequel. I’d see it.

Rating: 5/10

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