RANKING: The Spider-MenBy Quinn OxleyJuly 4, 2017I hate that Spider-Man: Homecoming Dell commercial that acts like Peter Parker’s computer profile pic would be him in his Spider-Man suit. What do you think he is, Dell? Some kind of amateur?
That being said, Spider-Man: Homecoming is out this Friday, and I am adoring this new trend of three Marvel movies a year. Personally, I’m a bit nostalgic for Sam Raimi’s campy gems, but last year Tom Holland certainly proved to audiences everywhere that Spider-Man is most satisfying in the hands of its proper owners. So, without further ado, I present to the ScreenFellas readers my ranking of Spider-Man’s most recent incarnations.
DISCLAIMER: This is my opinion. I normally try to be pretty objective when it comes to what’s good and what’s not, but my preferences are completely in play for this ranking.
3. Andrew Garfield. Let’s not kid ourselves. We all know why the Amazing Spider-Man movies were made. Andrew Garfield is attractive, sure, and he made some very successful movies toward the end of last year. But he’s way older (nearly 30 when the first Amazing Spider-Man was released) and way more hipster than Peter Parker should ever be.
2. Tobey Maguire. He’s not the greatest actor, or the most attractive, or the coolest guy in the world, but in my heart, Tobey Maguire will always be the iconic, “original†friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and I don’t think I’m overstepping many bounds to assume that of most of my generation. We’ve been subjected to three distinct, prominent Spider-Men in the last fifteen years; the turnaround on this particular superhero seems to be particularly fast (with five years between Maguire and Garfield, and only two between Garfield and Holland). Maguire stood at the forefront of Spider-Man-dom in my mind’s eye for my entire childhood, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
1. Tom Holland. It was sad to see Maguire go, but I have to give the top spot to Holland’s small role in Captain America: Civil War. Yeah, I know we’ve seen him on screen as the web-slinger a grand total of once, but I dare say he showed more than enough promise in those few minutes to convince me that Marvel knows how to properly write its properties. Holland displayed a near-perfect (high-school-aged) Peter Parker, complete with awkward pauses, star-struckness, and geeky behavior. I can’t wait to see how Marvel steps up its Spider-Man game this weekend.
HONORABLE MENTION: Spoderman and 60s Spider-Man memes. I can't wholeheartedly endorse all the memes because they can get pretty graphic, but some of them are hilarious.
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