Articles and Content

VanHulu: Palm SpringsBy Chuck VanHooseJuly 16, 2020I was going to watch The Old Guard again but decided to watch Palm Springs instead.

The movie stars Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti. At a wedding they get stuck in a time loop with each other and have to relive the same day over and over again. This is now my favorite movie of 2020! It’s an amazing film and I highly recommend it.
The story is well done and they have amazing chemistry with each other. This is a short review. All I can really saw is go watch it.

Rating: 9.2/10
ChuckFlixs: The PlatformBy Chuck VanHooseMarch 25, 2020I have been trying to figure out how to describe this movie and how I feel about it. It’s a movie that just recently made its debut on Netflix in the states. I believe it was originally released in Taiwan.

The movie takes place in a future in a prison. The prison is divided into vertical levels with two prisoners on each level. A platform is lowered down with food on it to each level. The platform stays there for a bit then the leftovers go to the next level. Prisoners below have to eat whatever the previous level left.
Of course people over eat and there was less and less food the further down you went. You stayed on a level for one month then you were moved to a new level. Each prisoner was allowed to bring one item with them.

The movie follows a man named Goreng who volunteered to go into the prisoner to earn a accredited degree. However, he doesn’t understand what he is getting into. Luckily his cell mate teaches him how the prisoner and lower levels work. Goreng his determined to change the prison so everyone gets food.

Positives
I actually really enjoyed this movie and it’s accurate for what we are going through in today’s society. This movie definitely takes a shot a capitalism. Especially with everyone buying more supplies then they need therefore making it where other people can’t get what they need.

I liked the plot of the movie and the journey the main character took. You could see him breaking down and resorting to extreme measures in order to survive.

Middle of the road

There were a few characters that I didn’t like. The platform just floated in between levels so that was weird.

Negatives
I know a lot of people aren’t going to like the main character’s first cell mate. He was alright but he definitely was annoying. But he served a purpose to help the main character.

His prison was allowed to bring in one item. One character brought in a knife even though it was a prison. So that didn’t make a lot of sense.

Overall this movie will make you think about how our society and it’s current state. Since we are all in quarantine you should give it a chance.

Rating 7.5/10
ChuckFlixs: Spencer ConfidentialBy Chuck VanHooseMarch 13, 2020Welcome back to Chuck Flixs for the first time in forever. So much has happened in 2020. It has been a crazy year.

The movie I’m reviewing today is Spencer Confidential. Mark Walhkberg plays a former cop who just got out of prison. He has dreams of moving to Arizona with his dog Pearl and becoming a truck driver. However, upon release two police officers are killed. Mark suspects foul play and decides to take justice into his own hands. He has the help of new friend played by Winston Duke. Together they make a string duo hell bent on taking down all the corrupt cops in Boston.

My description is a lot better than the movie. A lot of people are complaining about IIilza Shlesingwr over the top awful Boston accent. But it was done on purpose. She was supposed to be annoying.


I had one true moment of laugher and it was a line from Winston. Other than that it was just slight laugher at dumb stuff. Disclaimer though I watched this movie on the third day I was stuck at home. I was called off if work with every thing going on.

There are worst things to watch if you’re about to be stuck in your house.

Rating: 4/10
ChuckFlixs: Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez By Chuck VanHooseJanuary 21, 2020I have thought a lot about what to say in this review. This the latest string of documentaries about high profile cases. This one focuses on former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez. On June 26th, 2013 he was arrested for the murder of Odin Lloyd. Aaron committed suicide in 2017.

I don’t think this documentary should have been made. It has only been 3 years since the case ended. The family of Odin Lloyd is upset that this documentary was made. I don’t blame them. I would be mad to if it was one of my family members.

Not to mention a very controversial law and a major part the case, was just thrown out in March of 2019. This documentary is interesting but unnecessary. It dives until the effects that CTE can have.

The documentary tells the struggles that Aaron had in his life. He struggled with physical, mental, and emotional abuse throughout his life. They focused on him having to hide his sexuality. The documentary interviews people knew Odin Lloyd and Aaron.

Throughout the documentary you can hear chilling phone calls between Aaron and a variety of people.

Rating: Interesting but unnecessary
ChuckFlixs: Marriage StoryBy Chuck VanHooseDecember 31, 2019
This is a fantastic movie staring Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. They play a married couple who go through a grueling coast to coast divorce. This will be one of my favorite movies of the year.

Positives
I loved the chemistry between Driver and Johansson. I felt like I was watching a real marriage fall apart. The depth that both of them went to was great. I feel like Scarlett used her real life divorce and custody battle during her performance.

It was hard to pick a side in this movie. Both of them gave reasons they in favor and against their reasons to win the custody battle.

Middle of the road

The actress who played Johanssons’s mother was okay. She didn’t do a bad job but I found her character annoying at times.

Azhy Robertson played their child and he did an okay job. He wasn’t given a lot to work with. His performance didn’t make me say I have to see this kid in more movies immediately. However, his performance won’t keep me from watching future movies that he will be in.

The pacing of the film will bother some people but I didn’t have a problem with it.

Negatives

The only characters I didn’t like were the lawyers. But I think that was supposed to be the point of them.

Rating: 9.2/10
ChuckFlixs: 6 UndergroundBy Chuck VanHooseDecember 22, 2019One of my best friends got married this weekend so that’s why the review is late. It’s time to review Ryan Reynolds and Michael Bay’s Netflix original. This movie is not for everyone. You have to turn your brain off in order to watch this film. Please do not take a film directed by Michael Bay, written by the guys from Deadpool and stars Ryan Reynolds seriously.

6 Underground follows a group of people with unique skills who fake their deaths, in order to fight the evils without the restraints of government. Ryan Reynolds is the tech billionaire who put the team together.

This movie opens with a massive 20 minute car chase that features the explosions of 20 cars, 1 truck, 2 motorcycles, and 4 mopeds. That lets you know how the film is going to go. Which is why this movie had a budget of 150 million dollars.

A lot of the action and fight scenes reminded of the Kingsmen movies.

This movie was made by the following formula

Michael Bay’s explosions + Kingsmen + Deadpool + Fast and Furious family theme= 6 Underground

Positives
The cast seemed like they were having a lot of fan filming this movie. There were definitely some parts that made me laugh. It was a this is so stupid it’s funny laugh.

Negatives
Some of the jokes and dialogue aren’t the best. But you can’t expect a film like this to have stellar dialogue. There are some things that make no sense that happens. Even with me knowing this movie isn’t supposed to make sense with ridiculous things happening. There are still a few things that go beyond that.

There will definitely be sequels because they set up for it.

Rating: 6/10
ChuckFlixs: The IrishmanBy Chuck VanHooseDecember 4, 2019The Irishman

I wanted to get this review out last week when the movie was released. But last week included Thanksgiving and my wife and mine’s 1 year wedding anniversary. Not to mention this movie is 3 and half hours long. So it was just a matter of finding a time to watch this masterpiece. I’ll admit I had to watch the movie in 3 separate sections. Two being 1 hour sessions then the final 1 and a half

I love movies in this genre. The Irishman is a love letter to it. Martin Scoresse has a brilliant mind. This is going to be one of my favorite movies of the year.

This movie is not for everyone! The movie is 3 and half hours long so a lot of people don’t have the attention span for it. Nowadays people think movies over 2 hours can be to long. I believe movies can be long if they need to be. That’s the case with the Irishman.

The movie is based on the book I heard you like to Paint Houses. It spams from the 1950’s to 2000 about the life of Frank Sheeran who is truck driver who gets involved in a crime family.

Positives
The acting was great in my opinion. Al Pacino who played Jimmy Hoffa gave the best performance in the movie. De Niro and Joe Pesci were also great in their roles. As I said earlier I loved the direction by Scorsese.

At lot of people say that the pacing is slow . I agree that at times it can be slow but I believe that’s okay. I didn’t mind it because it took place over 50 years. I think it does a great job of character and world building.

One of my favorite scenes of includes someone getting into a car. Tension is bit perfectly in that scene.I was on the edge of my seat.

Negatives
I really don’t have any negatives for this film. Although I was okay with the pacing of the film the last 30 minutes or so did feel a little to slow. But I understand not trying to rush the finish. However I still feel like it could be trimmed down slightly.


Rating: 9/10
ChuckFlixs: Holiday in the WildBy Chuck VanHooseNovember 7, 2019This week on ChuckFlixs I will be reviewing one of Netflix’s movies titled Holiday in the Wild. The movie stars Rob Lowe and Kristen Davis. Kristen plays a former vet named Kate. With her son leaving for college, she plans a second honeymoon to Africa for her and her husband. However he ends their marriage abruptly. It’s in the first five minutes so it isn’t a spoiler. As soon as their son walks out the door she mentions their trip. He responds with I wanted wait to do this once he left. Then proceed to end their marriage.

She decides to go to Africa by herself. Once she arrives she meets her safari guide Derek (Rob Lowe). They rescue a baby elephant and take it back to a refuge to nurse it back to health.

Positives
The scenery in this movie was beautiful. This movie was well shot and honestly the best part of the movie. The shots of the elephants were great too.

Middle of the Road
Everyone did the best they could with what they were given. Rob Lowe’s son played Kate’s son in the movie.

Negatives
The dialogue in this film was cheesy but that’s to be expected. Netflix has become obsessed with this type of movies.

Kate spent 3 months in Africa then returned home to New York pale as can be. One of think you would get a tan working outside in Africa.

One of my biggest negative is a random bench. It was in the middle of no one and Kate would go there to FaceTime her son or send a email. Later in the movie they showed a sign that said WiFi hotspot with an arrow pointing to the bench.

Another negative is that when she face timed her son he would be in class and it would be the middle of day in Africa.

My last negative is that Rob Lowe’s girlfriend in the movie is pointless. She is only in the movie for 2 short scenes.

This can be a good cheesy date night movie.

Rating: 3/10
ChuckFlixs: In the Tall GrassBy Chuck VanHoose October 31, 2019Happy Halloween!

This week on ChuckFlixs I will be reviewing In the Tall Grass which is an adaptation of a Stephen King and Joe Hill novella of the same name. I wanted to post this review for a few reasons. One is I needed to process my thoughts on it. Second I thought it would make a good Halloween post.

The basis of the movie is that a pregnant woman and her brother hear a boy crying out for help. After hearing his cry they enter a vast field of grass, only to discover there may be no way out.

I don’t know how to review this movie. It’s incredibly weird and will have you scratching your head during it. The movie is almost 2 hours long. The director said it was a challenge to make the movie that long with the novella being short.

If you don’t like slow paced, somewhat confusing movies then this isn’t for you. The movie will keep you guessing until the end. So if you like movies that make you think, then you could enjoy this movie.

Positives
The movie was shot pretty well. There are some scenes that didn’t look good and looked good, but they are spoilers so I won’t mention them. The wide shots of the grass looked great. I truly felt lost with the main characters. That’s because they did a great job filming the actors and actresses in the grass.

Middle of the road.

The performances were just okay and nothing to go on about. A lot of the dialogue was repeated. They really drive home the idea that they couldn’t escape the tall grass.

Negatives
Without spoilers all I can say is don’t try to figure out the time line. Don’t ask how, why, when did this happen. Because if you do then you’re only got to make your brain hurt.


Rating:3/10
ChuckFlixs: El Camino A Breaking Bad MovieBy Chuck VanHooseOctober 22, 2019Welcome Back
It has been far to long since I have uploaded a ChuckFlixs review. I apologize for that but I am currently working on my Masters degree. With class and general life being busy I haven’t had time to watch Netflix movies. I should be back to at least one movie a week very soon.

The movie I watched to make my triumphant return is none other than El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie. Now full disclosure I have yet to watch the series Breaking Bad. It has been on my watch list for a long time. I decided to hold off on watching it when the movie was announced. I wanted to see if the movie worked for anyone.

I am happy to report that it did. Although I was lost at times I really enjoyed the movie. It had flashbacks that helped clue me in some ways. I was definitely hooked into this movie. It made me want to start the show right away.

Positives
My biggest positive is Aaron Paul who is absolutely amazing in this movie. He carries this film on his back and does a tremendous job. The narrative and his story after the events of the show are handled well.

Negatives
I am not going to list my negatives because I know the majority would have been solved if I watched the show.

Final thoughts.
You can enjoy this movie without seeing the show but you will enjoy it more if you watched the show.

Rating: 8.5/10
ChuckFlixs: Sextuplets By Chuck VanHooseAugust 22, 2019Sextuplets stars Marlon Way playing several different characters. His character is about to become a dad with his wife due any day. He grew up in foster care and never knew his family. He tracks down his birth mom only to find his brother. He finds a box with a newspaper in it. The news paper reveals a local woman gave birth to sextuplets. The two brothers decide go find their long last 4 siblings. Marlon plays each of his siblings.

Positives
I laughed once or twice in the movie.

Negatives
The script was absolutely horrible. It was a basic and predictable plot that was not entertaining. It’s hard playing all the characters in one scene. At times I didn’t believe that the characters had any chemistry. That may be harsh because it was the same actor.

Rating: 2/10
47 Meters Down UncagedBy Chuck VanHoose August 18, 2019This week will be the return of everyone’s favorite ChuckFlixs reviews. But I’m going to review 47 Meters Down Uncaged which is a sequel to 47 Meters Down. It’s only a sequel in name though.

The plot is that a group of high school girls go to a secluded entrance to an underwater Mayan city. They ended up get trapped down there with sharks with their quickly running out .

Positives
I think this movie a lot better than I did the first one. I really enjoyed how they shot and executed the shark attacks. They were really well done. The way movie was shot to open the film was fantastic.

I liked the situation they the characters were trapped in. They choices were to take a chance trying to escape and risk being attacked or let their air run out and drowned.

I liked how they did build up to the jump scares in the film. Like I said the attacks came out of no where most of the time.

Middle of the road

Each of the 4 main girls that were in this movie didn’t seem like real people. They weren’t likable at all.
One of the girls was very selfish but it was consistent throughout the movie. So I appreciated that.

Negatives

I did not like the main girl that you are meant to rally behind and root for.

The whole plot is set in motion by a screaming fish. That was hard to ignore. I laughed so hard at that scene.

I can’t say it because it’s a major spoiler but there’s part during the climax that made me laugh. It was not supposed to be funny.

Rating: 5.5/10
Hobbs and Shaw By Chuck VanHooseAugust 12, 2019Hobbs and Shaw

I’m glad that they gave these two a spin off. The Rock and Jason Statham have amazing chemistry together. I predicted that they would have a spin off when The Fate of the Furious came out.

This isn’t going to be a typical review. Do not expect a lot of this movie. If you do then you will think it’s one of the worst movies of the year. However, if you can turn your mind off and expect Hobbs and Shaw just to beat up bad guys and crack jokes then you will have fun.

Positives
The chemistry between the Rock and Statham will always be entertaining. Not all of the jokes worked for me. But the majority of them did.

As always the different locations in this franchise are fun.

I liked Vanessa Kirby but she was a plot device.

Idris Elba seemed like he was having a lot of fun playing a villain.

The surprise cameos in the film are amazing.

Negatives

If I’m going to try to be subjective then I’ll give some negatives. The pacing of this film isn’t the best. The movie is also almost 2 and half hours long so I feel like it could have been shorter. Now I’m all for longer movies as long as they need that time. But this isn’t one of those movies. Of course stunts and physics jump the shark. If you’re a fan of this franchise then you should be used to it. They also tried to squeeze in the importance of family near the end. It felt like they were doing it because it’s a theme of all the other movies in the franchise.
However, I had a lot of fun watching this movie.

Rating 7.5/10
ChuckFlixs: Point BlankBy Chuck VanHooseJuly 13, 2019Welcome back to another addition of Chuck Flixs. I’ll be reviewing Netflix’s newest release Point Blank. It stars Anthony Mackie and Frank Grillo. It’s a fight with rival gangs and corrupt cops. Career criminal (Frank Grillo) and a nurse (Anthony Mackie) must work together to reveal the truth. Stacks are even higher because Anthony Mackie’s pregnant wife who is due any day now is taken hostage!

This a movie format that we have seen countless times over the years. A upstanding citizen is forced to work outside the law in order to save his wife. This movies are cheap to make and require you to turn your brain off. I didn’t hate this movie but I also didn’t love it.

Positives

I liked the chemistry between Frank and Mackie. They were asked to carry the film and they did the best they could. They weren’t given the best script but they made it work.

My favorite character was called Big D who was a gang leader played by Markice Moore. He was a inspiring film maker and made references to his thought on the movie business. It was something dumb but I found it entertaining.

Negatives
The script was poor and a genetic action script. The movie was extremely predictable, I knew how it was going to be me within the first 10 minutes. The villains were not compelling and I didn’t find them as a realistic threat.

This is just an okay movie that’s slightly unmemorable. But since I like Anthony Mackie I’m going to give it a slightly higher rating.

Rating: 6/10
ChuckFlixs: Murder Mystery By Chuck VanHooseJune 24, 2019It has been far to long since I have posted a ChuckFlixs. It has already been a busy summer. I’m a Youth Minister and I just got back from our serve week. One of the newest Netflix originals titled Murder Mystery.
The movie was actually doing well on Netflix because they actually released numbers for this movie. Which they never release numbers unless something does well. It was reported that it was watched 30 million times in the first 3 days with the majority of viewership coming from overseas.
The film stars Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. They played a married couple who takes a European vaccination to reignite a spark in their marriage. They meet a billionaire who invites them to a party on a yacht. The lights go out and come back to on revealing a dead body. Adam Sandler plays a cop and he is trying to solve the case and prove that they are innocent.

Positives
The movie was just an okay movie. It’s definitely better than some of his movies from the past couple of years. It’s a movie that you can just turn your brain off and watch. My favorite character is a character who is reference to Chubs from Happy Gilmore.


Middle of the road
The acting was decent but it wasn’t great and it wasn’t that bad. You can tell they had fun trying to film this movie but I don’t think any tried to hard. The movie had a few funny moments. But it’s definitely not the best comedy of the year.

Negatives
The movie is predictable which isn’t good for a murder mystery. But it’s also a comedy murder mystery that makes fun other movies in this genre. Not all of the jokes worked in this movie.

Adam Sandler has a porn/ bad cop mustache and it was hard to take him serious.

It’s just a movie where you can turn your brain off and have an okay time. I’ll probably forget about this movie by the end of the year.

Rating: 5.5/10
ChuckFlixs: Always Be My Maybe By Chuck VanHoose June 5, 2019Welcome back to ChuckFlixs. This week I will be reviewing Netflix’s newest rom com Always Be My Maybe. I have to say I enjoyed the movie. This is definitely one of the better rom coms that they have made. Some people are saying that this is better than Crazy Rich Asians but that’s a lie. Do not listen to those people.

The film is about two childhood friends who both clearly like each other. However, neither one of the admits it. But once things start to progress and there’s a traumatic event, they have a falling out. After this falling out they don’t speak for 15 years until they reconnect as adults. Old sparks start to reignite but they live in completely different worlds. Can they learn to love and live in each other’s new world? Only time will tell.

Positives
The biggest positive in this movie is KEANU REEVES! He plays himself in the movie but he dials it up to an 11. I was laughing basically the whole time that he was on screen. He was easily the best part of the movie for me.

The main characters are played by Ali Wong and Randall Park. Ali plays a famous chef named Sasha Tran. Randall plays a stoner air conditioning repair man named Marcus who has a band. Randall Park actually did a decent job when he was asked to sing. James Saito plays Marcus’s dad and I liked his comedic spots.

Middle of the road
The majority of the supporting characters were good but not great. None of them were bad so that’s a good thing. They were just used to help push the main characters together. I understand that’s what happens in this genre. Overall they were just decent secondary characters.

The comedy was decent but not every thing made me laugh. But its comedy made me laugh more than some other rom coms


Negatives
The pacing was off at times during the movie. At first it was slow then picked up at a rapid pace. Once they were going to fast they created tension just to slow it down again.

I really didn’t buy into the main characters relationship. I felt like they were great friends who used to have a crush on each other. But that was about it because they really didn’t date when they were kids. One of the things that Marcus got upset over that Sasha said was stupid and petty. Of course that caused a big fight that wasn’t necessary.

My biggest negative is the lack of Keanu Reeves. He wasn’t in the movie for long which was sad. I wished he could of had a more prominent role.

Overall it’s a good movie that you can just have a fun time watching on a date night.

Rating: 7/10
ChuckFlixs: Wine CountryBy Chuck VanHoose May 19, 2019This review is a couple of days late. That’s because I had to a make myself write the review. The movie I decided to watch was the newly released Wine Country on Netflix. This film is about 6 friends who travel to Napa Valley, California to celebrate a friend’s 50th birthday party.
The film is directed, produced and stars Amy Poehler best known for her role in Parks and Rec.
The cart list has big names in it but the movie just didn’t click for me. I know that I’m not the target audience for this film.

Positives
Amy Poehler gives a good performance. Overall I believe that she did a good job producing, directing and acting in this movie.

Middle of the road
All of the other characters were just okay. The comedy was okay in this movie and I few moments of small laughs. Other than that the movie was just okay.

Negatives
I didn’t care about a majority of the cast because I wasn’t invested in them. I didn’t care about their problems that they were having in their lives. They moved the plot by having characters break off in groups and talk about the rest. This movie just wasn’t for me.


Rating: 4.8/10
ChuckFlixs: The Silence By Chuck VanHooseMay 4, 2019I’m not excited to talk about this movie at all. The movie I decided to watched was The Silence. The movie is about the being attacked by creatures that hunt by sound. Which may sound familiar to a movie from last year titled A Quiet Place. The Silence is based on a book by the same name released in 2015. Many believed that A Quiet Place draw inspiration from that book. Because both involve creatures hunting by sound and the main girl being deaf. A Quiet Place did start and finish filming before the Silence.

I did not like this movie at all. Even if I hadn’t seen A Quiet Place I still would dislike this movie.

The creatures are released when people are exploring caves under the Appalachian Trail. Once released they start hunting down and killing humans.

Positives
I’m going to stretch as far as I can to get one positive. Kiernan Shipka does an okay job as the main character who is deaf. It doesn’t match Millicent Simmonds performance at all. Kiernan doesn’t have any type of hearing impairment in real life. While Millicent is an deaf actor.

Negatives
The character decisions made in this movie are ridiculously dumb. I didn’t want them to survive because every decision practically led to a near death experience. Spoiler ahead but it’s okay because don’t watch this movie. While trying to flee they family takes a back road to escape. Their uncle who is in a separate car crashes and flips his car. This ultimately leads to his death. His car was full of supplies and guns to defend themselves with. The dad played by Stanley Tucci lights the car on fire. So that they creatures will be attracted to it and they can escape. I understand wanting to escape but take the stuff with you.

Phone service and WiFi go in and out throughout the course of the film. Because Kiernan keeps messaging a boy that she likes from school. They are wanting to make sure each other is safe. But at other times there’s no service because the world is ending.

My biggest complaint is the creatures themselves. People of the world decide to call them Vesps because they swarm like wasps. Based on the Spanish word for wasps which is avispa. They look like pterodactyls and make a noise like the Predator.

Rating: 2/10
Chuck Thoughts: SpoilersBy Chuck VanHoose May 4, 2019With the final season of Game of Thrones here and with the release of Avengers Endgame people are trying to avoid spoilers. So the question is how should we go about posting spoilers and avoiding them.
Posting Spoilers
The biggest debate seems when is it acceptable to post spoilers online about a movie. Leading up to the Endgame the entire cast and crew started a social media campaign to not spoil the movie. Which I thought was really cool due to the importance of the film.
However, yesterday in an interview the Russo brothers were asked when will that ban will be lifted. They answered on Monday which will be May 6th. The reasoning behind it is because not everyone can go see it opening weekend. They created the movie so people could have conversations about it. They can’t wait to see what fans have to say. But want everyone to have enough time to see it. After two weekends of the movie playing is more than enough time to see it. The two weekends are a courtesy to those who missed the first weekend.

Now a major tv show is a little different. Because the internet is incredibly fast with creating stuff from the newly released episode. For example the internet exploded into chaos after the latest episode of GoT titled The Long Night. Instantly after the episode there were gifs and memes from the climax of the episode. I mean it happened about 5 minutes after the episode.
I was on Facebook and Twitter to see what people were saying. Even the NFL Memes page on Facebook made a massive spoiler meme and posted it shortly after. I must show at least a dozen memes about that one particular moment from the episode.

It’s hard to set a spoiler ban for a show. Because you can’t wait two weeks because there’s a new episodes once a week. For example I used to run a Walking Dead account to talk with other fans. I would live tweet every episode if I could. I would put out spoiler warning tweets.

There was a major character death that night. One of my friends who followed my account got on Twitter right at the climax of the episode. He was mad that I spoiled the episode. I didn’t have to live tweet the episode but fans would ask me questions during the show. Now I avoid posting spoilers right after the show airs. I may send a vague tweet but nothing that will ruin it for someone else.



Avoiding Spoilers.
It’s incredibly hard to avoid spoilers for tv shows and movies today. The easiest way to avoid spoilers is to stay off of social media. That’s what I mainly did because I could see Endgame until May 1st. If I got an notification I would check it or only post something if I was on my profile page. For Facebook I muted several comic book movie related pages. Because I had to be on Facebook for work. I work at a church as a Student Pastor and was promoting an upcoming event. That’s the easiest way to avoid spoilers is to avoid social media.

Especially if it’s right after the episode of a major tv show. It’s not just Facebook and Twitter you have to avoid. I would avoid watching YouTube. Because people will post clips of pivotal moments from the show or movie.

Another way to avoid spoilers is to not ask people about the movie. This may seem obvious but I have seen it happen before. Someone will ask for a spoiler then get mad that someone told them.
ChuckFlixs: Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and VileBy Chuck VanHoose May 4, 2019This ChuckFlixs review is a day late. I wanted to post my review of Extremely Wicked, Shocking Evil, and Vile last night on the day of its release. However, I chose to rewatch the documentary that came out at the beginning of the year. I must say that I enjoyed the movie a lot more than the documentary.

In case you haven’t watched either or don’t know what it is, both are about serial killer Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy was a serial killer during the 1970’s in 7 states who targeted young attractive women. The documentary of course follows the life of Ted Bundy and gives you a lot of facts.

The movie takes a different approach than the documentary. For over a decade he denied that he killed any of these women and claimed that he was innocent. The film approaches it from that standpoint. Because his girlfriend and his family believed that he couldn’t commit any of those crimes. A lot of people in America said that he seemed like a nice guy and didn’t do it.

A lot of people are saying that they are glorifying Ted but I disagree. It’s from the point of view from someone who thought that see knew him. She didn’t believe that he was the killer. It’s an interesting approach to take a movie from. People like to be offended and try to ruin a movie.

Positives
My biggest positive is Zac Efron who gives an amazing performance. For years Zac Efron has played the same character basically. Movies like Baywatch, and the Neighbors movies. Take his comedic gold in Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. For the most part he has been casted and billed as an comedic actor. He reaches depths that I didn’t know he was capable of. This is his best performance of his career by far. I want him to be nominated for an Oscar next year.

Really everyone did a good to great job performance wise. The editing and direction of the film was also well done. I also liked Lilly Collins performance who played Ted’s girlfriend.!

The film did a good job of not glorifying what he did. The whole time I thought it was an insane and horrible person.

Middle of the Road
Anglea Sarafyan played the friend of Ted Bundy’s girlfriend did an okay job. But I really didn’t care for her character. Same for Haley Joel Osment’s character. He played a co worker of Lilly’s and he did an okay job and served his purpose.

Negatives
I don’t have to many negatives about this film. One isn’t even the film itself but the first trailer that came out about it. It completely set the wrong tone for the movie. But I’m not going to hold that against my rating.

I really can’t say a lot of my negatives because they could be considered spoilers. Even though it’s based on a true story that just had a documentary about it. They did add or slightly change stuff from what actually happened for the movie. I understand doing it but not all of it worked. One negative is something minor and being nit picking. But the title is ridiculously long.

I have been thinking about my rating for a couple of hours. I’m stuck between an 8-9. It might go up or down after I rewatch it.

Rating: 8.7/10
VanHulu Reviews: Into the Dark: DownBy Chuck VanHoose May 3, 2019It’s time for the first addition of VanHulu’s Review. It’s a lot harder to find something to watch than I thought it would be. Hulu mainly has original series and not a lot of movies. What I decided on was technically a series but also a movie. Blumhouse television has created a horror anthology series that releases one episode per month.
Each episode is designed around a holiday that occurs during that month. Also each episode is the length of a feature film. So they will be a total of 12 in the series. I decided to go with the February release that was titled Down.

I went with that one because I didn’t like the trailer for the one released for April. The one for April was titled I’m Just F***ing with you. I actually watched the trailer for the latest release. In the trailer that said the title of the movie multiple times. I got sick of the title just by watching the trailer. I knew in the actually movie it would be said more. So I knew I couldn’t sit through a whole movie with that on repeat.

Now let’s talking about the one I actually watched which was titled Down. This movie is going to be hard to talk about without spoilers.
POTENTIAL SPOILERS WARNING
I watched the trailer after the movie and felt liked I watched the movie again. I thought it was just an okay episode. Since the episodes don’t build on each other I’m willing to give the others a chance.

The whole plot of this movie is that two people who work in the same building get trapped in an elevator on Valentine’s Day and President’s Day weekend. As time passes on the two get to know each other. But when the truth is revealed then things takes a turn for the worst and the fight for survival begins.

There’s not a lot that I can say about this film. It’s not a high class suspense or horror film by a long measure. The movie is also extremely predictable.

Positives
I honestly can’t think of to many positives. I think the actor and actress played by Matt Lauria and Natalie Martinez did the best they could with what they were given. They just gave an okay performance. That’s me stretching for a positive.

Negatives
The entire movie basically takes place in a elevator hence the title of the movie being called Down. I didn’t think they had any chemistry. The whole first of the film is them getting to know each other. This is a horrible 40 minutes that I didn’t enjoy. Again this movie is extremely predictable.

I was almost tempted to cut the movie off just before the “action” started. So the pacing is awful. It’s a slow first 40 minutes then some action starts then gets slow again. The movie does this until the end. I didn’t care about the characters.

There’s one sequence that bothered me a lot due to the unrealistic nature. It had a scene kind of like in Fast and the Furious 7 when the Rock is blown out of a building and lands on a car. The Rock was hurt and ended up in the hospital. However in this movie while trying to escape the elevator they climb up the elevator shaft. I would say they are at least a good 10-20 feet above the elevator. However they fall and crash through the roof of the elevator. They just lie their for a bit then get up and basically shake it off. The guy appears to be injured but it doesn’t affect if that much.

The amount of dumb decisions that she makes in this film is unbelievable. They only had her make dumb decisions so the movie could continue.

Rating: 3/10
ChuckFlixs: The Perfect DateBy Chuck VanHoose April 27, 2019ChucKFlixs reviews are back after almost being gone for a month. I apologize for not having a review in a long time. There where a lot of new releases and I hardly covered any of them. Life happened and things got busy. So here’s to hoping that May is better. Starting in May there will be are new review series here in the website. I’ll also be reviewing Hulu original movies and they will be called VanHulu.

The movie I’ll be reviewing today is The Perfect Date. The movie is about a high school guy named Brooks trying to get into Yale University. In order to to raise money he created a dating app. The dating app allows the girl to pick everything about him. What he wears, how he talks and everything about his personality. But when he meets someone special things quickly become complicated.
This movie was just okay. I didn’t care for a majority of the characters. The concept was interesting but I don’t think it hits full potential.

Positives
One of my favorite characters was Murph who was the best friend of the main character. I found his story more compelling than the main character’s and his wasn’t shown that much. He was played by Odiseas Georgiadis. Some of the dates were entertaining but those scenes didn’t last long.

Middle of the road
Laura Marano plays the love interest in the movie. This isn’t a spoiler because I realized from the trailer. However if you didn’t watch the trailer you will know the second she comes on screen. She gave a decent performance. But I don’t think she was given a lot to work with.

Negatives
My biggest negative is the main character played by Noah Centineo. His character Brooks is a horrible person. If I had to pick a villain in the film it would be him. He’s a jerk to everyone including his dad. His dad is played by Matt Walsh. I can’t rate his performance because he was only in the film so his son could insult him. I was rooting for him not to get into Yale. Which is not what you want for your main plot and character.

The plot movement is this movie was awful. Basically anytime they needed to move the plot forward in a big way there was a school dance. They did this so they could all the characters who went to different schools together. There were 3 school formals in order to drive the story. The movie jokes about this but it doesn’t work.
This could be a cheesy date night movie but it’s completely predictable.

Rating 5.6/10
ChuckFlixs: The Highway MenBy Chuck VanHoose April 5, 2019I’m glad to be back to writing ChuckFlixs. I know that it has been a long time since my last post. I’m moved into my new house and just have to one back. I’m also going through the process of becoming ordained. My council session went well and I have my ceremony at the end of this month.
On this addition I will be reviewing The Highway Men starring Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson who play to former famous Texas Rangers. They join forces to hunt down the notorious outlaws known as Bonnie and Clyde.
Overall I liked this movie and thought it was cool to hear the story from a different perspective. I thought it was well executed for the most part. The performances were good.
Like many Netflix films this one seems to be dividing people. Lots of people like it and lots of people seem to dislike it.
Minor spoiler here but it doesn’t effect the outcome of a true story. In this film you hardly see Bonnie and Clyde until the movie starts to end. This is the Jaws approach where you keep the villain out of sight to build suspense. But people are upset that they don’t see the duo a lot. But why would they because the movie is about the law men trying to catch them.

Positives
I enjoyed the chemistry between Costner and Harrelson. I believed that they were tired and past their prime. They struggled with things that in the glory days they could do know problem. The cinematography of the America landscape was beautiful. The old cars were great. It was a truly well made film.
There were a few comedic scenes in the movie. My favorite is when Costner just starts buying guns from a local gun store.

Middle of the road

The pacing of this film is a slow one at times. The movie is over 2 hours and 15 minutes. I was fine with a slow paced movie. Because with this story you have to find ways to extend the film. Otherwise it would just be the last few minutes. However nowadays people constantly want action and could careless about story development.
But slow paced movies aren’t for everyone. The secondary characters and other law men did a decent job

Negatives
Cathy Bates did a great job in this movie. She was the Governor who gave the order to Costner and Harrelson. The reason she is in my negatives is I wish she would have had more screen time and interaction with the main duo. I would watch a movie about her becoming the governor.
There were a few things changed to the true story. But I didn’t know until I saw it online. It was just a few minor things that didn’t change the overall story. So it didn’t take me out of the film.

Rating 7/10
ChuckFlixs: Triple Frontier By Chuck VanHoose March 14, 2019It has been has been almost two weeks since the last ChuckFlixs was posted. I was out of town last weekend. Since I’m in the process of moving I have no WiFi at the current house. So it’s a bit harder to watch Netflix. I will be out of town this weekend as well.

The movie I’ll be reviewing today is the just released today Triple Frontier. Triple Frontier was 4th on my most anticipated Netflix originals of the year. The movie is about former special force operatives reuniting to plan a heist. They plan to rob a drug lord that lives in South America. Friendship is tested when the heist doesn’t go as planned.

Overall I enjoyed this movie and had a good time watching it. I have seen heist movies worst than this and I have seen heist movies better than this. But I had much higher expectations so I was a little disappointed.

There are some parts that are going to be hard to talk about with spoilers but I’m going to do my best.

Positives
For the most part I liked the performances. There are some heavy hitters in this movie. It’s hard to nail down my favorite because they were all about the same for me. I enjoyed the cinematography in the film. Ben Affleck gave good performance. At the start of the movie I thought this is what Bruce Wayne would look like if he went broke. This film makes each man question their morals. I found myself thinking what would I do in that situation.
Oscar Isaac gave a good performance. I understand his drive in the film and his motives.
The other guys in this film which are Pedro Pascal, Charlie Hunnam, and Garret Hedlund where good in the film.

Middle of the road
Some of the character development worked for me and some of it didn’t. There are some decisions made that seem to come out of no where. Although they seemed to come out of no where I can see what they were trying to go for.
I knew that they would get into the planning of the heist fast. However there’s one character who changes his mind quickly on doing the heist.

There are also some characters that I don’t care about. That’s not to say their performances were bad. It’s just saying that I wasn’t given enough to care about them. Adria Arjona was one of the characters I didn’t care about. She will just there to be a plot device.

The ending was also predictable. I could see what was going to happen at the beginning of the move. I was right in my prediction in every way but one. The one aspect I was wrong about made the movie a little better for me.

Negatives
There a few moments in the film where a character goes against character traits that they have had in the past. They just want you to take their word for it and make it a big deal. Another thing I didn’t like is that it said all of these men had history together. But it didn’t show any of that. I think I would have cared more if they had shown me that.

Rating: 7.5/10
ChuckFlixs: High Flying BirdBy Chuck VanHoose March 1, 2019Today’s ChuckFlixs review will be on the movie titled High Flying Bird. The movie fellows a young man who is about to be a rookie in the NBA. However a lockout may prevent him from ever playing a single game. His agent comes up with a controversial plan.

The movie is directed by Steven Soderbergh but this isn’t his best work. I’m not saying it’s bad it’s just not up to par with his greatest works. I liked the movie for the most part and I thought it was good. But I did have problems with the pacing of the film.

Positives
Melvin Gregg plays the NBA rookie that the movie is focused on. However although he is the main player in focus. The movie mostly focuses on his agent played by Andre Holland. Most of the performances are okay to good. There’s no real stand out performances. I’m not saying that they did a bad job. There’s no oh my goodness they are amazing. I liked Bill Duke role in the film. He played an older coach who knew Andre Holland. Bill Duke was used to give advice to Andre Holland. I think he did a really good job in the film.


Middle of the road
The story had a lot of potential but I don’t think it reached as high as it could have. The entire movie was shot on an iPhone. Most of the film looks good. However there are a few scenes where you can tell that it was filmed on a iPhone. The movie is also gets into the politics of sports. At times it was interesting and engaging. Other times it was trying to be to hard to be a politic film.

Negatives
The pacing of the movie was slow. This is a basketball without an basketball being played by the main character. Right before a basketball game is about to take place the scene just ends. They later explain the scene and why they didn’t show it.
There’s another NBA rookie who having a Twitter feud with the main character. I felt like it was unnecessary. Because it was only added to had drama to the movie.

At the beginning of the movie they had a few interviews with NBA players about their rookie years. At first I thought that was really cool. However when something would happen in the film they would cut back to the interview. When they would cut back they would have the player explaining something that happened to them, that was going on to the movie. I took it as they had to use real life players to justify the movie decisions. It would take me out of the movie. I was just like trust in your decision and let the movie flow.

Ratings: 7.5/10


ChuckFlixs: Fighting With My Family By Chuck VanHoose February 24, 2019I’m sorry for not having any reviews up in a couple of weeks. I’m trying to get back to my old schedule were I post at least one a week. My ultimate goal is to average 3 a week. Hopefully they can be accomplished by April because March is going to be a busy month.

In today’s review I actually have a non Netflix movie to talk about. The movie is titled Fighting With My Family. The movie is about a wrestler from England named Paige and her journey to WWE and the relationships she has with her family. The movie is based on a true story for the most part. There are a few things changed just to make it more enjoyable for non wrestling fans.

To start this review I’m going to say that you don’t have to watch wrestling to enjoy this movie. I went with one of my friends who doesn’t watch it and he really enjoyed the movie. I loved this movie and thought it was great. If I get a chance to see it again then I definitely will.

Positives
The film is written and directed by Stephen Merchant. I believe he does a better job as a writer but he still does a good job as a director. The acting in this film is great. I believe the chemistry between the family members and but into their relationships.
Florence Pugh who plays Paige gives one of my favorite performances. She truly captures the personality of the real life Paige. Jack Lowden who plays the brother also gives a great performance.
Vince Vaughn plays the trainer of Nxt who determines who makes it on the WWE. They use his character to combine a few different people who helped Paige in Nxt. This was similar role that he had in hacksaw ridge. However his humor is some of the best parts of the movie. The humor is cleaner in this film then in hacksaw ridge.
The Rock isn’t in it as much as you would think. But he does provide the comedic moments when he is on screen.

The comedy in this movie works really well. One of my favorite scenes involves Paige’s dad and another wrestler. Her dad keeps asking him if he will take a hit in a match from a certain item. So in order to decide her dad starts to hit him with random items. I could watch an hour of just her dad hitting that guy.

Middle of the Road.
I would say the kids of her family’s wrestling school are okay to good. You don’t get to know all of them and they only have a minor role. They are just okay to good secondary characters.

Negatives
I honestly don’t have too many negatives about this film. I feel like the pacing could have been better. It was a little slow at times but it didn’t take me out of the movie.

Rating: 9/10

Read below for changes they made to Paige’s story.

They changed a few things about her story to make it more appealing to the casual movie goer who doesn’t watch wrestling. The biggest changes come at the end of the movie. Spoilers from here in out! But it’s not really a spoiler because it is based on a true story.

The movie ends with Paige winning the WWE divas title on RAW from Aj Lee the night after Wrestlemania 30. However at this point in time Paige had been on Nxt for longer than she had in the movie. Also for almost a year before she beat Aj she already had a title. Paige became the first Nxt women’s champion in June of 2013. However the movie does not show her winning this title. The reason is the director believed that the audience wouldn’t be invested in her winning a title from Aj Lee if she already had one. Which I understand this completely.

The director also changed a few things about her debut in the movie. In the movie Paige doesn’t cut a promo before the match, but in real life she actually spoke on the mic. The movie also portrayed the crowd as if they didn’t know who she was. But in reality a majority of fans already knew her and started chanting her name, during her entrance. In real life Aj Lee also had a body guard Tamina. But the director felt like it would be to much to explain why she had one. The post match promo did not happen in the real life. But I believe it worked in the movie. Because all cams around into a full circle to show they she had truly made it.

ChuckFlixs: Velvet Buzzsaw By Chuck VanHoose February 8, 2019I apologize for this ChuckFlixs being late. But my wife and I were in the process of closing on a new house this week. On top of that I had work, school, and basketball games. I’m ready to relax this weekend.

This week for ChuckFlixs I’ll be reviewing Velvet Buzzsaw. It’s the amazing duo of director Dan Gilroy and amazing actor Jake Gyllenhaal. Their last film was Nightcrawler released in 2014.

Velvet Buzzsaw is definitely not a movie for everyone. The movie is satirical take on the art world. It’s horror film that mixes comedy in it throughout the film. The movie is about an unknown who passes away. His paintings become in high demand with even higher price tags. However a supernatural force enacts revenge on those of have chosen greed over art.

I really liked this film. It was weird and entertaining. Yesterday I had worked out then went to work from 3-9. I didn’t start this 2 hour movie until after 10. I was tired but this movie kept me interested and invested.

Positives
Jake Gyllenhaal plays an art critic named Morf. He absolutely kills this part and does an amazing job. He is a pretentious and zany character. At times you’re suppose to hate him but I couldn’t do it. Because everyone around him were awful people too. He was my favorite character. Now not all characters are jerks but most of them are. They built the suspense up well in this movie.

Middle of the road
Most of the other performances were middle of the road for me. They were just good performances and I bought into their characters and their actions. Natalia Dyer plays an assist throughout the movie. Something they do with her character for comic relief throughout the movie is hilarious. The twists were done well for the most part and kept me guessing.

Negatives
I don’t have too many negatives for the film. There are a few twists that don’t work that well as the others. But they aren’t that bad. Plus there a few characters that are there just to be there.

Rating: 8/10
ChuckFlixs: The TitanBy Chuck VanHoose February 5, 2019It’s time for a new addition of ChuckFlixs and this time I’ll be reviewing the Netflix original The Titan. The movie stars Sam Worthington who is a military man with a family. Earth is quickly running out of resources and they must find a new home. Scientists decide that humans must move to Titan which is a moon of Saturn. But in order to survive on Titan humans must evolve and adapt to the new planet.

Does this sound familiar to you because it should. You must be thinking of Sam Worthington’s other movie Avatar. In which he plays a military man who goes to a different planet in becomes one of the planets natives. He has to do this in order to survive the planet’s atmosphere. I’m going to try not to compare the two because they aren’t on the same level.

Positives
I actually liked the idea behind this film. The film doesn’t take place on Titan. It’s on Earth and about them trying to prepare before to move to Titan. But in order to do so they must force evolution. This evolves dangerous experiments on several people with high risks. They keep putting participants through tests to see if they are evolving. So I actually liked the idea but it wasn’t what it could have been.
Sam Worthington did an okay job with what he was given.

Middle of the Road

Taylor Schilling plays Sam’s wife and a doctor monitoring the study. She starts to become worried with what he is becoming. She is afraid he is becoming more beast than man. I don’t by their chemistry as husband and wife.

Negatives
The quote on quote villain was a stereotypical villain for this movie. He is played by Tom Wilkinson.I didn’t really care when he was on screen. I liked the idea of the plot but it was poorly executed. They repeated a lot of the same tests over and over. The other performances are just plain. The ending was dumb. Scroll past my rating to read my thoughts

Rating: 5/10
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
LAST CHANCE


The ending of The Titan. Of course everything goes wrong when they fully transform/evolve to what they will need to be when they live on Titan. That was something that I saw coming from a mile away. I didn’t even watch trailer before I watched the movie. But I did afterwards and it showed that crap would hit the fan.
In the end of the movie one of the subjects is killed. They are trying to kill Sam who has taken out several soldiers. Tom Wilkinson and the soldiers corner Sam and his family. Tom orders the general to shoot Sam and his family . They refuse and turn their guns on him. Then the next scene is Sam fully evolved standing on Titan alone. With no explanation of how he got there or why they decided to send him. Because he didn’t want to leave his family. It briefly shows them and he son looks the same way. The movie ends with him spending his arms to reveal he has wings like a flying squirrel. Then he jumps off a cliff and starts to fly around on Titan. That was the end of the movie
ChuckFlixs: PolarBy Chuck VanHoose January 29, 2019It’s time for another review of one of my most anticipated Netflix originals of 2019. The movie is Polar which was #8 on my list. Unfortunately it was another letdown so I’m 0-2 on my most anticipated. But that’s okay because Netflix produced some great movies last year. I know that I will enjoy some of my most anticipated movies.

Polar is an action movie about an assassin who wants to retire after years in the game. However he can’t have the peaceful retirement that he desires. This is because a group of younger assassins are trying to kill him, on his former boss orders.

I did not like this film at all. It was over the top violence with bad effects. But I’m going to try to start with some positives.

Positives
I’m having a hard time thinking of any positives for this movie. The only one I really have is that this film made me laugh some. But it was because of how stupid the scene or the kill was.

Negatives

I almost cut this movie off in the first two minutes of the film then almost did the same after 5 more minutes. However I stuck through the entire movie. The violence was over the top and almost cartoonish. The effects were absolutely horrible. It seems like they tried to make the main actor a very old John Wick.

The villain was one of the worst villains I have ever scene. He was cross between Mugatu from Zoolander and Ramsey Bolton. I say that because they had a torture scene with him on the movie. But he dresses and hand the mannerisms of Mugatu. However I found the Zoolander villain to be a better and more menacing villain than this movie. The villain is played by Matt Lucas.

A big surprising twist at the end could be seen for the beginning of the film. Not to mention the script of this movie could win worst script of 2019.

Rating: 2/10
ChuckFlixs: IOBy Chuck VanHoose January 23, 2019It’s time for the first ChuckFlixs review of one of my most anticipated Netflix original of 2019. The movie I’ll be reviewing today is IO starring Anthony Mackie and Margaret Qualley. The only reason this film made my list is because of Mackie.

The plot of the movie is another post-apocalyptic film in which humanity has fled Earth in order to survive. Most of humanity has settled a colony on one of Jupiter’s moons. Margaret plays a young scientist who has stayed behind to prove Earth can host human lives again. She ends up sending out a broadcast to find other survivors. Mackie heard the broadcast and the two end up working together. They must decide if they are going to leave Earth or stay.

Positives
Finding positives is going to be hard for this film. Because I’m was really disappointed while watching this. There were a few good set designs. In the first few minutes I was almost hooked. But the movie started going down hill from there.

Middle of the Road
Anthony Mackie gives an okay performance. It was not given a lot to work with. But this wasn’t to the level that I know he can reach.

Negatives

This movie’s pacing was horrible. This film felt like it took forever to end. It was less than two hours but felt longer than 2 hours. I didn’t like Margaret’s character at all. I had no attachment to her or her motivations. Honestly I did not like her actions with the kids

I believe that her and Mackie had no chemistry. That’s not good when it’s only two actors in the film. I feel like Mackie got tricked or had to appear in this film. That’s how bad the movie is.

My least favorite part is the most awkward build up to a sex scene. This was definitely one of the most awkward moments in the film. What it took them to sleep together was so weird I was laughing. The ending wasn’t that great either. Lots of people are confused by it but I wasn’t a fan of it.

Rating: 2.9/10
ChuckFlixs: Problems with Fan Theories By Chuck VanHoose January 21, 2019Now this isn’t your typical ChuckFlixs review. Because I won’t be reviewing a movie rather a problem with big movies. I hope to have a couple of actual reviews up this week.

Fan theories have become a large part of our culture for tv and movies. However there are issues with fan theories. I’m going to talk about them in this article.

Now before I start I just want to say that I’m mad at people who make these theories or likes them. Because it’s apart of the media culture we live in, people want to talk about upcoming movies and shows. My issue is with how people handle fan theories.

There are too many people who become obsessed with fan theories and believe that they are the absolute truth and must happen. Then once the movie comes out and it doesn’t happen they become upset. People will go online and trash an amazing film, just because it didn’t include their theory.

Now you can have fan theories because it’s unavoidable. Just don’t accept them as truth because you will always be disappointed. This is due to the fact you will build something up so much, that it can’t live up to your expectations.

I’ll admit that I have watched fan theories before and talked about upcoming movies or shows. However it’s when I’m bored and want to see some dumb or crazy fans have come up with. It can be a lot of fun to see the outlandish things people believe. Like I said early I don’t accept them as the truth. Because it does no good and I don’t want to be disappointed.

Now let’s look at some examples.

One major example of this is Star Wars The Last Jedi. There were so many fan theories about identity of Rey’s parents and Snoke. Once the movie came out people overreacted and called it the worst Star Wars film of all time. It’s an amazing film that deserves love. Check out Carlos’s written review about it right here on our website.

Just like fan theories ruined The Last Jedi for people, I feel like Avengers: Endgame is in that territory. It’s because of Endgame that I’m writing this article. There are so many fan theory videos on YouTube about the trailer alone. People are just using the title Endgame Trailer Theories to get views. Most of those theory videos can get hundreds of thousands and up to a million views. The funny part is most of them are the same. Because I watched a view for this article.

The more theories that come out the greater potential of disappointment that people can have after they see the movie.

Shoot people even make theories off teaser trailers for tv shows. For example the short teaser trailer for Game of Thrones. People have gone crazy with theories of a short teaser. Again they will probably be disappointed if it goes against their theory. I find it hilarious the amount of breakdown of a teaser less than 2 minutes long. The amount of theories and symbolism got from it was funny. People were saying they can guess the ending to the best tv show of all time. Solely based on a clip less than two minutes.

In conclusion I’ll say the following things about fan theories. That have the potential to ruin films for people, if you believe the theories to be true. There’s nothing wrong with them depending on how you view them. If you view them as 100% must be true then you’re wrong. However if you treat them as dumb fun and way to talk to fellow fans you’re good. So please do not go all in on fan theories. Instead trust the people behind the movie and enjoy the product.

Also The Last Jedi is an amazing film and you need to get over yourself.
ChuckFlixs: Solo Spoiler By Chuck VanHoose January 15, 2019This is going to be the first spoiler ChuckFlix review. I’ll be reviewing Solo one of the newest Netflix originals. Not to be confused with Solo: A Star Wars Story. The movie is a based on true events about a surfer who falls off a cliff. The rest of the movie is about his fight for survival.

Do not watch this movie! Now I’m going to be getting into spoilers! But it’s not really spoilers since it’s based on true events. However I’m still giving a spoiler warning.


Positives

I just watched this movie and I can hardly think of any positives. Besides so if the cinematography was good but not great. Other then that I have no positives.

Negatives
Wow this was not a good movie at all. Now with most survive a dangerous situation movie it features one main character. As soon as it introduces the main character it’s clear that he is a horrible person. For the first half hour he keeps getting worse as a human being. I did not care about him at all. The man is played by Alain Hernández. He gives a okay performance but again I don’t like his character.
I was actually rooting for him to not get rescued. That’s how horrible they made him before he fell. It took him almost dying to realize that he shouldn’t be a horrible person.
Rating: 1/10
ChuckFlixs: Top 10 Favorites and Top 10 Worst Movies of 2018By Chuck VanHoose January 12, 2019Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2018
1. Instant Family
2. Avengers Infinity War
3. A Quiet Place
4. 22 July (Netflix Original)
5. The Kindergarten Teacher (Netflix Original)
6. The Ballard of Buster Scruggs (Netflix Original)
7. Black Panther
8. Ant Man and The Wasp
9. Set it Up
10. Ready Player One

Top Ten Worst Movies of 2018
1. The Holiday Calendar (Netflix Original)
2. 211 (Netflix Original)
3. Hurricane Heist
4. Nothing to Hide (Netflix Original)
5. Death Wish
6. Venom
7. Aquaman
8. Mowgli (Netflix Original)
9. Adam Sandler 100% Fresh (Netflix Original)
10. Tag
ChuckFlixs: Lionheart By Chuck VanHoose January 11, 2019I apologize for not having any ChuckFlixs up since Birdbox. But the beginning of the year was busy and my father in law was in the hospital. He is feeling a lot better and has been home for a couple of days. I plan to have a couple more ChuckFlixs up by Sunday.

Lionheart was on several lists of most anticipated Netflix originals for 2019. The movie is directed by first time director and Nollywood star Genevieve Nnaji who also plays the main character.

The movie takes place in Nigeria and is about a family owned bus company. Genevieve plays Abaeze who works for her father’s company. He father is played by Pete Edochie. He falls ill so she believes that she is the right one to take over the company, however her uncle is put in charge. The movie is about family values, and a woman working hard in a male dominated business. She wants to prove that she can run the company.

Positives
I enjoyed this movie more than I thought I would. I would say this a good to great movie. I think that the cast did very well. Genevieve gives a great performance and does a great job directing. The family showed strong family values. It showed a daughter wanting to do her best without disrespecting her father.

The uncle played by Nkem Owoh was the comedic relief of the movie. I think it did a good job in that role. Not every joke worked but that’s to be expected. At times when he was suppose to be serious and help Genevieve he did a good job there too.

The cinematography of the film is fantastic. It truly captured the beauty of the country. It’s not the best of the year but it’s still well done.

Middle of the road
The minor and supporting characters which consisted of family members and employees did a decent job. That didn’t have a lot of screen time but they served their purpose.

The love interest is okay but felt unnecessary. Because he could have accomplished the his goal without being a love interest. Because I think Genevieve was strong enough to not have one.

Negatives
The movie did feel slow at times but then would speed up. As if it was trying to balance itself out. So that was distracting at times because it was a consistent pace. The antagonist of the movie wasn’t compelling. He was given a stereotype antagonist role and that’s all it was.

Rating: 7.8/10
ChuckFlixs: Nothing to HideBy Chuck VanHoose December 28, 2018It’s time for the latest installment of everyone’s favorite written review ChuckFlixs. This time I’ll be talking the French movie titled Nothing to Hide. The movie is about a group of long that are having a dinner party during a lunar eclipse. During the party they decide to play a game where they put their phones on the table. Any texts, calls, or emails they have to share with the group to prove they have Nothing to Hide. As the night goes on more and more secrets are revealed causing tension between spouses and their friends.

Positives.
I‘m going to be struggling to find positives for this movie. I laughed a little bit a couple of times during the movie. I liked a few of twists that the director put into the movie. Other than that I don’t have any positives.

Middle of the Road.
All of the performances were okay to decent. I don’t think that they were given a lot to work with. Each time a phone went off it was suppose to be suspenseful. That didn’t happen for me every time. But I didn’t think that anyone did a bad job.

Negatives.
This movie was an hour and half or so and o struggled to watch the whole thing. There were several times that I wanted to cut the film off. Not because of the length of it, because of a movie is great I’ll invest the time. However when a movie is bad then it makes it a job to watch.

This movie is a French movie but the majority of the film is in English. There are only a few moments when you have to read subtitles. Again I don’t mind reading subtitles. I actually wish the whole film was in subtitles. The reason is that the audio was way off during the whole movie. Most of the time there was dialogue and no ones mouth was moving. I also didn’t like the ending and it made the movie feel completely pointless.

Rating: 2/10
ChuckFlixs: Bird BoxBy Chuck VanHoose December 23, 2018On Friday a new Netflix original was released titled Bird Box. It stars Sandra Bullock as a mother of two in a post apocalyptic world. In this world there are mysterious creatures are after them. If you look at the creature it takes on your worst fear and you die. So if you go outside you have to wear a blindfold. The movie is about Sandra Bullock trying to get her kids to safety. In order to do this she must navigate a dangerous river without looking.

Does this sound familiar because if you think so then you’re not alone. You must be thinking of the brilliant film from earlier this year called A Quiet Place. Now some people will tell you not to compare the two movies. They have a point because if you compare a movie it can hurt the quality of it.
But it was hard for me to stop comparing them. The trailers for these movies even have similar scenes. But I’m going to do my best to review it has its own movie. This movie is directed by Susanne Bier

Positives
For the most part I did like Sandra Bullock’s performance with what she was given to work with. But it was nothing like Emily Blunt’s performance in A Quiet Place. Still it was a good performance. I think she carried the film well and it would have been worse if someone else had been cast instead of her. John Malkovich gives a good performance as well and I believe his character’s reasoning behind things. In fact he is one of the most logical characters in the film. There are several times where he has the right idea about how to survive. If I was in this scenario then I would have probably agreed with him. Although I would have changed one of his plans a little.

Middle of the Road
Lil Rel Howery gives an okay performance. I want to see him with more screen times in movies. He gets more time this instead of when he was in Get Out. Trevante Rhodes also gives a pretty decent performance. The cinematography was decent at scenes on the river.

Negatives
I understand that this isn’t a horror film but it’s supposed to be a psychological thriller and suspenseful. However there was only once or twice that I actually felt suspenseful while watching the film. Another part I didn’t like is the film basically starts with the climax of the movie.
Then it goes back and forth between present day and 5 years ago. The 5 years ago part is used to show you have everything started. However everything just starts happening and you aren’t given a lot of information about how everything happens. The constant switching took me out of the film.
This movie could have been great if they had done a few things. I think that more time should have been spent on the characters at the start of them film. Because that’s where most of the interesting things happened. Instead of just a quick five year jump then back to five years ago and so forth. Also I believe this film could have taken 10-15 minutes off and still have been fine.

I would like to say that this movie is okay but I’ll likely forget about it. So it’s between the line of unmemorable and okay. But I’m going to give a slight edge to okay. Again it was hard for me to not compare it to a Quiet Place because A Quiet Place is one of my highest rated films this year.

Rating: 5.7/10

ChuckFlixs: ROMABy Chuck VanHoose December 21, 2018Roma is Netflix’s first real Oscar contender and was suppose to be one of the best movies of the year. But to me it was not the one of the best movies of the year. It’s about a Mexican family in the 1970’s and their live in maids. The film is directed by Alfonso Cuarón who is a great director. I think the hype and the expectations ruined the over all quality for me.

This movie is not for the casual movie watcher. The movie is slow, in black and white, and you have to read subtitles. The typical Friends and Office only Netflix subscribers should not watch this movie. Also this movie is over 2 hours long and it feels longer.

Positives
This movie has some of the best cinematography of the entire year. Roma is just overall a beauty film. It’s amazing how beautiful he made the film when shooting in black and white. I enjoyed all of the performances and thought that they did a good job. There really wasn’t any performances that I didn’t like. But I don’t think they any of the performances will win an Oscar. The final act of the film is my favorite part. It was extremely well done but it took to long to get to the end product.

Middle of the road

I wasn’t the biggest fan of the script. I think it held back some of the performances. I didn’t hate the script but I wasn’t in love with it. I just thought that it was okay.

Negatives

I was bored during the majority of the film until the final act. I don’t know that if I will watch it again. It just takes to long to get interesting and for me to get invested into the movie. I’m fine with slow movies but this movie was almost to slow for me. If I didn’t love the final scene of the movie then I would give it a much lower rating.


Rating: 6.5/10
ChuckFlixs: When We First Met By Chuckie VanHoose December 9, 2018When We First Met has been on Netflix since February. My wife thought it would be a fun movie to watch. It’s definitely a good date night movie to watch.

It’s the classic story of a guy who is in love with a girl that’s with someone else. However with the use of a time traveling photo booth he has a second chance at getting her to fall in love with him. That’s not a spoiler it’s in the description and the trailer. Now each time he tries he wakes up 3 years later with the consequences of the night that they met.

We had fun watching the movie and laughed several times throughout the movie. The performances were decent with what they were given. One of my favorite characters was King Bach who played the friend of the main character. I want to see him in more comedic roles and I want him to lead a movie.

Middle of the road.

Some of the tries of him trying to win her over didn’t make me laugh every time.. You had some good ones but you also had some that weren’t that good. But overall they were decent. The movie is a very predictable romantic comedy. But I feel like you can still have a fun time watching it on a date night.

My negatives is that the script is very cheesy at times because of the type of the movie that it is. I know I shouldn’t make it it a negative because it’s a stereotype of the genre. Another negative is the lack of chemistry between the two main characters. They are played by Alexandra Daddario and Adam DeVine. Nothing against their performances just I didn’t buy into their chemistry.

I have struggled to figure out my rating this movie. My wife enjoyed it and we had a fun time watching it together. I didn’t think it was that bad. So with that my rating is the following.

Rating: 6.8/10
ChuckFlixs: Mowgli Legend of the JungleBy Chuckie VanHoose December 9, 2018It has been a while since the last ChuckFlixs was posted. I took a short break because I got married and was on my honeymoon. I should be posting a few reviews of the next couple of days.

The first review is going to be the new Netflix Original Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle. You may be thinking didn’t they just make a live action jungle a couple of years ago. You would be right The Jungle Book was released in 2016. This is a much darker and new take on the classic tale.

The movie is directed by the one and only Andy Serkis who also plays the voice of Baloo. We all know the basic plot of this movie. A baby is left in the jungle after his parents are killed by a tiger. Then the boy is raised by pack a wolves and grows up in the jungle. But this movie focuses on the more violent and intense aspects of the story. So this is not a movie for kids. Just let them watch the animated movie or the 2016 live action movie.

Let’s start off with my positives of the movie. The biggest and best positive is the amazing voice cast. You have Andy Serkis, Benedict Cumberbatch, Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett and several others. The amount of emotion each one of these performances show is amazing. It’s not all motion capture or effects because I can hear the emotion in their voice. It’s time for the Academy to start paying attention to movies like these for performances.

Another positive I have is Rohan Chand who plays Mowgli. I believe he gives a good to great performance. I think he is my favorite mowgli performance. But it has been a while since I have seen the other adaptions of this story.

The effects and the cinematography is well down in this film too. There are times where it’s just it’s not as good. But it doesn’t hurt the overall quality of the film for me.

I also enjoyed the ending of the film.

Middle of the road
Overall I liked the story focuses on the more intense side of things. I was fine with the cheesy songs from animated movie being left out. But I know people will be upset that they aren’t in the movie. There are some parts that take place in the village. Some of them I like and some of them I don’t like. I can’t go into details because that would be in some spoiler territory.

My negatives of them film are some of the characters that are in the village. They only have a small purpose and I just didn’t care for them. The biggest one that I didn’t care about is the hunter. But the other are minor characters who you don’t have a lot of time with. So there’s really no need to get attached to them.

Rating: 7.8/10
ChuckFlixs:The Christmas Chronicles By Chuck VanHoose November 27, 2018Last night I watched The Christmas Chronicles stars Kurt Russell as Santa Claus and his fight to save Christmas. It all starts when two siblings played by Judah Lewis and Darby Camp try to capture Santa on film. Of course when they do this put Christmas in danger and must save it. So it’s one of the stereotypical plots that a Christmas movie can have. Now small disclaimer. I would watch this movie before I let your kids watch it. While it doesn’t show anything really bad. Santa does break multiple rules. It’s not your typical kid’s Christmas movie. The movie itself is recommended for 10 and older.

But overall I liked this movie and thought it was good. Now it had a chance to be great but it lost me in the second half of the movie. But let’s start with the positives of the film.

Positives
The first is that I loved Kurt Russell as Santa Claus. It was something that I never knew that I wanted until this movie. He does not play your typical Tim Allen Santa Claus. Don’t get me wrong I like the first and even the second Santa Claus movie with Tim Allen. But it was fun seeing a new twist on Santa.

I feel like that just told Kurt Russell like himself if he became Santa. That’s exactly what he did. His Santa definitely had a different attitude and willing to break some rules then other Santa’s. He was a charismatic Santa at times and willing to do whatever was necessary to save Christmas.

They came up with their own unique twist on Santa and how he travels from house to house all around the world. I actually enjoyed that part because it was something new that I hadn’t seen before.

Middle of the road
In this part of the review I’m going to mention things that were just okay. This movie definitely has the cliches that are in most Christmas movies. It’s just in the nature of the genre to include them. Because if they didn’t then the typical movie watcher would be upset. But the cliches still hurt the quality of the film.


So let’s get into the negatives of the film. I didn’t really like the two kid actors in the movie. I mean they did an okay job but they weren’t given a lot to work with. Plus they had to act with Kurt Russell so they couldn’t be easy for them. I didn’t like the look of the elves but that’s a minor detail. The majority of the people that they interact with on their journey aren’t that interesting. They are just minor characters who are there because they are an obstacle. When I stay that they are only there to slow Santa down on his quest to save Christmas.

Rating: 6.8/10
ChuckFlixs: The Ballard of Buster Scruggs By Chuck VanHoose November 18, 2018The Ballard of Buster Scruggs is the newest film from the Coen Brothers. The film is broke into 6 different stories following different characters in each one. The film is a introduction to westerners while paying respect to them. Although the characters don’t reappear in the different stories there are reoccurring themes. Now each story has a different tone that can relate to different classic western stories.

I enjoyed the majority of the stories and just had fun with them. The effects are really cheesy at times but that just adds to the fun of the movie. My favorite stories was the first one and the one with James Franco. James Franco had my favorite line in the movie. But it’s a spoiler so I won’t say what it is. Tim Blake Nelson gives a hilarious performance as Buster Scruggs. He was by far my favorite character.

Another great aspect is how quick the tone can switch in between different stories. For example it goes being really silly to morbid humor. This story takes place with Liam Neeson who has a traveling act to make money. He uses a man with no arms and legs who performs monologues. The story gets darker as time goes on.

I don’t have to many negatives except that I didn’t really care for the last story or so. My other negative is that I didn’t get a whole movie with Tim Blake Nelson as Buster Scruggs.

If you want to turn your brain off for a little over two hours then this is the movie for you. But if you can’t do that then I would avoid this movie.

Rating 8/10
ChuckFlixs: The Holiday Calendar By Chuck VanHoose November 16, 2018Since it’s almost Christmas and I’m getting married in a couple of weeks I decided to go watch The Holiday Calendar. This movie is about a antique Advent calendar that can possibly predict the future. A talented photographer in a dead end gets the calendar, and it may lead her to finding true love.

I knew that I wasn’t going to like this movie before I watched it. But it was a short movie so I decided why not. Plus the majority of Netflix originals that I have watched, I have really enjoyed. So I’m going to try to pick ones that don’t interest me as much. That way I’ll review a wider variety of films.
It’s basically like every other Christmas romance movie that comes out each year. The acting was absolutely horrible and none of the actors had chemistry. The two love interests of the main character had no depth to them.

The movie is poorly paced. At one point the main character is upset at everyone and the world. But don’t worry all it takes it a one minute conversation with her sister to give her that Christmas cheer again.

They are a few moments of when the camera zooms in on texts messages on someone’s phone. Each time they show a close up of the phone it does not show the time on the phone.

The film’s message was it doesn’t matter what someone buys or gives you. What matters is how they make you feel inside.

Rating: 0.8/10
ChuckFlixs: The Outlaw KingBy Chuckie VanHoose November 10, 2018The Outlaw King was just released on Netflix yesterday. It stars Chris Pine who plays Robert Bruce who is a Scottish Nobleman. The movie mixes history with legend to tell the story of rebellion against the English crown. You could almost consider this movie as a sequel to BraveHeart. Because this movie takes place a couple of years after that movie ends.

Overall I just thought that this movie was okay. It was a cross between a BraveHeart sequel and a mediocre episode of Game of Thrones.

To start positive I’m going to say that I liked Chris Pine’s performance and I understood his motivation behind his actions. He is a hero that you can get behind and root for. I felt like he was having fun with this movie. The cinematography was also pretty good. Especially when they did wide shots of the country side. Florence Pugh had a decent performance with what she was given.

Now it’s time to get into my negatives. There were a few times that they copied scenes from Game of Thrones. At one point the two kings from opposing sides meet before the battle. They are both staring each other down when Robert challenges him to one on one combat. That way they can avoid the slaughter of their men. It reminded me a lot of the conversation between Ramsay Bolton and Jon Snow. However it wasn’t as impactful in this film like it was in GoT. There was another part where a camp was raided in the middle of the date that reminded me of Game of Thrones.

Another on of my negatives is the battle scenes. But maybe it’s only a negative because I’m comparing it to Game of Thrones battle between Ramsey and Jon. I just didn’t like it was close to that standard. I feel like Netflix has the money to make a great battle. But instead what I witnessed was just a okay fight scene.

Rating: 6/10
ChuckFlixs: The Kindergarten Teacher By Chuckie VanHoose November 6, 2018I’m sorry that this review is late but I needed some time to reflect and the let the movie sink in. The movie that I’ll be talking about is The Kindergarten Teacher staring Maggie Gyllenhaal who plays a kindergarten teacher named Lisa. She believes that world is changing and trying to do away with art. She takes up poetry but quickly realizes that she cannot write well. Then one day she hears one of her students saying a wonderful poem. She believes that he as an extraordinary gift and is a prodigy. She is fascinated with his talent so much it becomes an obsession.

Maggie Gyllenhaal gives an amazing performance in this movie. Besides the child she is the main character. She definitely carries this film on her own without any problem. You can tell that she truly cares and wants the best for the student played by Parker Sevak. Now for only being 5 years old Parker did a fantastic job. Most of his lines were poems but the fact that he could remember them is amazing. I can’t wait to follow his career in the future.

The director of this film is Sara Colangelo and she does an amazing job. She makes you love and hate the main character Lisa. Now when Lisa becomes obsessed with her student Jimmy she makes some really poor decisions. When she makes those decisions you think she is absolutely crazy. But on the other hand you know she cares about her student. She just doesn’t know how to help him. So in that instance you’re like wow she just wants to help. I ended up thinking that she was right in some instances but a complete lunatic in others.

My last positive is the last line of the movie which is delivered by Jimmy. It’s a fantastic why to end the film and helps you sympathize with Lisa as well.

Now I don’t have a lot of negatives but I do have some. Lisa has two kids of her own and I really didn’t care about her relationship with them. I think it would have been better if she didn’t have kids. I also didn’t care for her husband. Like her kids her husband wasn’t in the movie a lot. I felt like they didn’t add anything to the film. But my least favorite character was the poetry teacher. They had something happen with his character that was completely pointless.

One of the worst scenes in the movie is when Lisa and her husband are making out on their couch. Then her phone rings and she stops in the middle of it to answer a phone call from a 5 year old.

Rating- 9/10

ChuckFlixs: 22 JulyBy Chuckie VanHoose October 29, 2018I really enjoyed watching 22 July. For those of you who don’t know the movie is about Norway’s deadliest terrorist in 2011. On that day 77 kids were killed by a extremist terrorist. This is not a spoil because it’s history and in the trailers. I enjoyed watching because I did not know a lot about this event. I remember it happening when I was in high school but that’s about.

To start my positives I’m going to talk about Anders Danielsen Lie who played he terrorist who attacked the kids. I think he did a great job in the role that he was given. Each time he was on the screen I hated him and give off a weird vibe. He gave off a vibe of being evil and creepy. But that was the point of his character that you’re suppose to hate him. It was interesting to see how calm he was and how he spoke with no remorse. Each time he talked about why he did it I was invested to see what would happen next.

Another actor that I liked played one of the kids. The actor’s name is Jonas Strand Gravli who played one of the main people that they focus on. There were several times were he showed great emotion and you truly felt for him and wanted to help him out. I was surprised to learn that this was his first movie. I’ll be looking forward to seeing him in other projects. He gave one of the best performances of the film.

Before I start my negatives I’m going to say this isn’t a movie for everyone. This is a slow paced character driven movie. So if you want a fast paced movie with plain characters then do not watch this movie. At times the movie does feel slow. But I know it’s just because it’s historical you’re limited with pacing. That’s because you can’t add or make stuff up because it would hurt the story. Since I have been watching slower paced movies I was fine with it.

Now I’m going to talk about my negatives and the first is the Prime Minister. I did not like the prime minister at all. I felt like he didn’t care about what happened to 77 kids as long as he kept his power. Another negative I have is about the actors and actress has a relationship with the main character of John Gravli. The first is that I didn’t care about his parents. The mom was slightly better than the dad but I don’t think they had a great chemistry with their new tv son. I wasn’t a big fan of the little brother or the girl who survived and just kept checking on John. The last character I didn’t like was the lawyer of the terrorist. I felt like the actor did a poor job in convincing me he was trying to help his client.

I’m going to have to watch this movie again because if I do then I could see my rating for it changing. It would only change my rating by a point or less in either direction.

Rating- 8.8
ChuckFlixs: 211By Chuckie VanHoose October 26, 2018Since I’ll be watching 22 July tonight I decided to watch something random last night. So I chose to watch 211 staring the one and only Nicholas Cage. The movie is loosely based on one of the bloodiest bank robberies in history. Which is glad it’s loosely based because horrible decisions were made. The only reason Cage did this movie was to get a paycheck. The whole plot of this film is that men with military training aren’t paid for a job. So they decide to rob the bank that the guy who hired them has his money in.

There is not much that I can say about this film that is positive. I can say that I laughed a little bit in this movie. But it was at dumb mistakes that characters made. The funniest moment was in a scene that they meant to be super emotional and serious.

So now it’s time to get into negatives. I honestly didn’t think that I could see a movie worse than Hurricane Heist this year. But 211 proved me wrong in that matter.

One federal agent who you think is going to have a significant role just randomly shows up at times. She added absolutely nothing to the film. At one point she is investigating a dangerous location. She goes in with no body armor, no back up and her gun in a holster and walks right in. The amount of dumb decisions that characters make is overwhelming.

At one point in the movie the leader of the robbers says you only have one minute to get all off the money. After several minutes the guy is still putting money in the bag. The script and direction of the movie was horrible.

As I mentioned earlier I laughed at a time that was suppose to be serious and emotional. Near the end of the film Nicolas Cage is suppose to give a monologue to a superior officer so it can be turning point. He is talking about what he has went through that day and what needs to be done. However his speech is like when a kid is so frustrated that they can barley speak. I had no connection to any character in this film. I didn’t care about anyone of them. Even the character that they give you a reason to be invested in doesn’t work for me.

Fav scene- Nicolas Cage is so frustrated that he can barley talk.
Least favorite scene- everything else

Rating: 1/10
ChuckFlixs: Cailber By Chuckie VanHooseOctober 25, 2018 I watched this movie a few weeks ago but I’m just now posting the reviews. After reading a few lists of best  Netflix movies to watch Caliber kept showing up on the list plus I was in the mood for thriller. Now there are other movies with a similar plot but I enjoyed this one. I watched the trailer after the movie to see what was in it. The trailer is basically the first few minutes of the movie. So I would suggest that you don’t watch the trailer.
 
Caliber is a movie about two childhood friends who go hunting in the Scottish Highlands. Once they start hunting the two are faced with a difficult situation that no one could have been prepared for. They immediately have to make hard choices then deal with the fallout.  What follows is a thrilling situation that is entertaining.
 
I liked a few of the performances because the actors did what they were asked to do. My favorite performance was Jack Lowden who played one of the best friends. He put a lot of emotion into his role I bought into his character. Martin McCann who played the other friend did a good job too. Since it took place in the Scottish Highlands there were some great shots. So I'm going to be like Ozzy and say I enjoyed the cinematography. Several characters were able to show emotion and I believed that they truly felt that way.
 
I did see a few things coming in this film but it was about a minute or two before it happened. So the film wasn't that predictable which is a good thing for a thriller movie.
 
One of my negatives is some of the characters are just generic and don't really have a purpose. Because they are just put into the film just to be there and have a minor role. However this is true of just about any movie nowadays.
 
It's hard to go into negatives without spoiling the movie. I was on the edge of my seat a few times during this movie.  If you like thrillers then you should watch this movie. It's not the best thriller of the year but it's still worth your time to watch it.
Rating: 8/10
Adam Sandler 100% FreshBy Chuckie VanHooseOctober 24, 2018Adam Sandler 100% Fresh
I decided to give Adam Sandler’s new stand up a chance. The newest Adam Sandler movie that I have watched was Grown Ups 2 released in 2012. Now I have watched some of his older stuff that is on Netflix. For example I just watched Billy Madison again before I saw his special. Billy Madison is one of my favorite comedies. I would say that it would be if my top ten of all time favorite comedies. So I do like some of his work.

Before I get into my review I want to remind everyone that comedy is hard to review because it’s so subjective. So what wasn’t funny to me might be hilarious to you. That’s perfectly fine and doesn’t bother me.

This was my first time watching him do stand up and I wasn’t the biggest fan of it. He mixes stories about his life and dumb songs that he came up with during the special. I enjoyed the last song the best and it was one of my favorite parts of the special. However I only laughed around 5 times. I had no problem with him using music.

The editing was unique because it cuts back and forth to him performing at different t venues. But at times it took me out of the moment. I can appreciate what they were trying to do though.

I did not like the special and that’s okay. Even the title is taking a shot at Rotten Tomatoes who always criticize his work. Right now on Rotten Tomatoes has an audience score of 85%. So I do believe that he will get another Netflix special.

I’m going to be generous with my rating because my thoughts on the special can be summarized by my favorite Billy Madison quote.
“Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Rating 4.5/10
Apostle Netflix OriginalBy Chuckie VanHooseOctober 15, 2018With it being the middle of October I decided to watch a horror film. So I decided to watch Apostle because it was just released. Before I go into my review I’m going to say that this is not a film for everyone. This film is slow paced, gruesome and just overall a creepy film. With that being said I actually enjoyed this film.

The film is about a man named Thomas played by Dan Stevens who is trying to rescue his sister Jennifer played by Ellen Rhys has been kidnapped by a murderous religious cult who lives on an island.

Dan Stevens gives a great performance and he carries this movie well. I enjoyed seeing his motivations and learning his back story. Seeing the the lengths that he was willing to go to for his sister was fun to watch. My favorite aspect of the film was watching him to blend in with the members of the cult. I think that he had decent chemistry with his love interest. One of the better aspects of the film is how they give the mythology of how the cult formed.

I wasn’t the biggest fan of the slow pacing because this film felt long. Which it is because it’s over 2 hours long so at times it felt slower than the rest of the film. However I did like how things paid off at the climax of the film.

I do have a few negatives with this film. The villain is fine but he is a stereotypical villain. There is a relationship between two characters that I just didn’t care about because I didn’t care about the characters.

Rating- 8.3

What Ready Player One Really MeansBy Bob WhitehouseAugust 3, 2018(This column requires a soundtrack https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXvuUp-KY5g)
The world has been enamored this weekend by Stephen Spielberg’s most recent film, Ready Player One. We all know by now what it’s about. But do we all know what it really means? Do we all understand the social commentary this film attempts to make? Do we all understand Spielberg’s purpose for this film? Clearly the answer is no, but lucky for you I am the smartest man alive and I’ll break it down for you. Guess what,,, spoilers.
First of all, Spielberg wants us to know that the media landscape of today is terrible and the future of America is a desolate wasteland caused by millennials and those after who are more interested in masking their insecurities through video games than becoming well adjusted adults. Through the use of references and Easter eggs, Spielberg is subtly insinuating that the films of the past such as Saturday Night Fever, Back to the Future, and Raiders of the Lost Ark are more influential and culturally relevant than the films who have come out more recently. Pair this with Spielberg’s recent comments about streaming services not deserving to compete for Oscars, and clearly he is attempting to say that the peak of American culture is far in our rear-view mirror as a society.
Second, we are to take away the message that gender is fluid. We see this in the way that Wade assumes Artemis is a hot lady (we say lady in this column because saying girl is a micro aggression, please respect). Spielberg calls on us as a society not to assume gender, as it is fluid. We can see this again when Aech preaches to Wade about how Artemis could be a fat man in Detroit and not a hot lady. Following this sermon, we learn that Aech is in fact a lady (again folks, respect). Incredible! How fortuitous that we can learn this lesson together!
The final message that Spielberg is sending us, and this is tough to swallow so take a seat, is that Mark Rylance is here to stay. What we all know, whether consciously or subconsciously, is that Spielberg will not let this man’s career die. Was Mark Rylance the best choice for the role of James Halliday? Ha no, of course not. If you said yes to that question, please stop the soundtrack and get out. The perfect choice was clearly Dana Carvey and anyone who disagrees is a squid. The role of Garth Algar was merely Carvey’s audition for this role but in his arrogance and perseverance to make Mark Rylance happen, Spielberg gave the role to the wrong man. If I asked you who won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in 2014, who would you have said? Tom Hardy? Christian Bale? No, no, no those are both wrong. The answer is someone that would surprise you. You say “surely you mean Sylvester Stallone in Creed”. Sorry friend, you were wrong again. The correct answer is Mark Rylance. Using the term “correct” depreciates the meaning of the phrase, but I digress. Other than Bridge of Spies and Ready Player One Spielberg forces this dry, talentless hack on the audience in the film BFG. While Spielberg seems to love him, BFG in this instance stand for Be Freaking Gone because I want nothing to do with Rylance. This film, Ready Player One, lest we forget is Spielberg’s love letter (not in a gay way, or maybe a gay way, sexuality is fluid) to Mark Rylance at the expense of the audiences that once revered the director as an innovator and artistic mastermind.
Overall, Ready Player One is a delightful romp in a magical world combining the future of our media landscape with the nostalgic tastes of our generation. The cinematography was fantastic despite the fact that I think all of it was CGI. Everyone but the human trash pile Mark Rylance was great in the film. Personally I would like to congratulate my celebrity crush Olivia Cooke (I watched Bates Motel so this is not a bandwagon move) on an incredible performance that stood out as the best of the film. Now speaking directly to Olivia Cooke, *camera closes in on my face as lights dim for effect* would you like to go on a date to Rainforest Café with me? It doesn’t have to be a Rainforest Café, I just appreciate the magic that the ambiance brings. Either way, sup? Let’s go out sometime. Thank you for your service.
REVIEW: Unfriended: Dark WebBy Bri ManzanoJuly 22, 2018I’m a horror lightweight. Generally, I’m more inclined to watch a suspense film than a slasher flick. Sure, the line between the two can be thin and hard to distinguish, but as soon as the “horror” label is involved, I usually walk away. Too rich for my blood. Let that stand as proof enough that Unfriended: Dark Web is lacking in basically the only thing you want from a horror movie: genuine scares.

Matias (Colin Woodell) finds a laptop in the lost and found at his local cafe and decides “hey, finders, keepers.” He soon finds that thievery does no one good, as his new find ends up biting him in the butt. It’s the workstation for a dark web content creator - i.e., kidnapper, torturer, all-around scumbag. And he wants it back.

Of course, the format is intriguing. As technology evolves and connects people and creates more media for entertainment, film has to evolve in tow in order to survive, and of course that means taking advantage of the thing that captivates us even as we sit in the theater: social media. The concept is moderately novel, and at its core there’s something really interesting. It’s kind of the new found-footage, with a real-time twist.

The thing is, though, scares and technology don’t mix very well. Tech and film hardly mix, let alone a film genre that is already hard to get right. The pacing, which is so key to the horror genre, is strange, and the characters make frustrating choices (though they’ve learned their lesson about screensharing). But when it comes down to it, it’s just not scary. I’m watching The Prestige as I write this review and the moment Hugh Jackman gets shocked by the electric fence scared me more than anything in Dark Web.

If you want a truly terrifying dark web immersive experience, you might look into an indie game called “Welcome to the Game.” It’s like Unfriended: Dark Web, but better, actually decently scary, and you get a lot more dark web for your buck.

Rating: 3/10

Favorite scene: didn’t really have one.
Least favorite scene: have some fun.
REVIEW: Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer VacationBy Bri ManzanoJuly 12, 2018I’ve been very vocal with my opinions on modern children’s entertainment. They’re not good. In fact, the only thing I have a lower opinion of is the Transformers franchise.

The problem in both is the same: laziness, and underestimating the audience. Kids only care if there’s slapstick and fart jokes, right? Oh, and a cute sidekick than has his own running gag. That’s all kids want. We can throw our writer (because Lord knows there can’t be more than one of them) in a room with some names and bodily functions in a hat and some Mad Libs and churn out the script to a kids’ movie in an hour.

Ugh. It has been a long time since a movie has actually made my toes curl. This - thing - does not deserve to be judged on the same playing field as The Incredibles, or The Iron Giant, or Coraline. Please, if I have to sit through one more of these… I may have to reconsider my career choices.

Do I need to summarize this movie? They go on a cruise. He falls in love with the captain. She’s a Van Helsing. I know people are praising it for its message of overcoming differences and prejudices - and I am all for that, when the movie is good. Agh, the cringe was too strong. And that hurts me to say - physically hurts me, because with a cast like Jim Gaffigan, Chris Parnell, Andy Samberg, and Kathryn Hahn, this movie should have been hilarious.

There is no reason that anyone should see this movie. “But this movie’s not for you! It’s for kids!” Read again: there is. No reason. That ANYONE. Should see. This movie. I don’t say that lightly. A movie is innocent until proven guilty as far as I’m concerned. But this… is where I draw the line. No one should be seeing this movie - not adults, not children, no one.

Rating: 1.5/10

Favorite scene: Chris Parnell, honestly.
Least favorite scene: pretty much everything else.
REVIEW: Jurassic World: Fallen KingdomBy Bri ManzanoJune 26, 2018Jurassic Park is universally considered one of the best movies of all time. I can still remember the bone-rattling thud of the T-rex’s footsteps as they shook the kids to their core in the Jeep. I was in that Jeep; I screamed with this kids and my heart stopped when I saw those teeth in the rain. Maybe I’m just older, just too cynical to be afraid of such things, but Jurassic World doesn’t have nearly the same effect as Jurassic Park. It’s good enough for what it’s made for, but make no mistake about it - the franchise is not what it used to be.

We pick up as Isla Nublar’s long-dormant volcano is readying for eruption. Debate on the fate of the island’s ancient inhabitants has ravaged the political sphere, Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) helming the pro-dino movement as Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) builds his cabin and turns his back on the lot of them. Just as all hope seems lost, Claire and Owen are pulled to the island yet again in a privately-funded (read: super sketchy) effort to save the dinosaurs.

Okay. Can we all agree that CGI pales in comparison when practical effects are an option? Because it’s pretty obvious which is which in Fallen Kingdom, and the practical effects really only suffice to remind you how far we’ve drifted from the art that was Jurassic Park. Nonetheless, the animatronics are marvelous, and when the dinosaurs feel like they’re taking up real space in the environment, like they are the weighty beings that they would be, it changes the entire feel of the scene.

The action follows much the same pattern. When the dinosaurs inhabit real space around our protagonists, the suspense is tangible; otherwise, it just feels like they’re being chased around by a Snapchat filter. Though, there is one scene earl on whose action is very effective, mainly due to the sheer number of challenges being thrown at the leads.

Overall, it is exactly what it is meant to be: a popcorn flick. Enjoyable for those two hours and forgotten soon after. (Though Chris Pratt is a national treasure.)

Rating: 5.75/10
Favorite scene: mayhem.
Least favorite scene: Rafe Spall.
REVIEW: Ocean's 8By Bri ManzanoJune 9, 2018Remember how well the all-female reboot of Ghostbusters went over? Yeah. Don't you wish every franchise could get that treatment?

Despite the death sentence that seems to be the all-female reboot, Ocean's 8 treads water lightly with few risks and altogether an inoffensive but unremarkable heist film. Debbie Ocean (Sandra Bullock), the late Danny Ocean's similarly criminally-inclined sister, immediately picks up her shady hobbies again upon being granted parole. After contacting her partner-in-crime, Lou (Cate Blanchett), Ocean begins prepping for the heist of the century: stealing the $150 million Toussaint necklace from the Met Gala right off of Daphne Kluger's (Anne Hathaway's) neck.

Let me preface my opinion by clearly stating that while I'm familiar with the heist subgenre, I have never seen an Ocean's film, so I can't compare this installment to its predecessors. I did, however, compare Eight a decent amount to similar all-female reboots, like the aforementioned Ghostbusters, which makes Eight out to be a hesitant success. Most of the proper moving parts are in place: a decent plot, a decent script, a decent cast. If you can get by Cate Blanchett's confusing accent and Awkwafina's tiresomely obnoxious character, there's not much to complain about - or say at all, really. It's a heist film. Decently exciting, decent to look at, decent, decent, decent. That may be all the extraneous all-female reboot can hope for at this time.

(Spoilers? Spoilers maybe.) Eight does, however, lack some semi-standard heist film components, such as a comedy slant, or a last-minute change in variables that needs to be accounted for. It's got lite-versions, lax ones, but nothing enough to secure it a distinct impression on this year's release schedule.

Rating: 6/10
Favorite scene: the heist (or Cate Blanchett, because despite her inscrutable accent, she is awesome).
Least favorite scene: recruiting Awkwafina.
REVIEW: Solo: A Star Wars StoryBy Bri ManzanoMay 27, 2018Han Solo. You know the name. You know that he shot first. You know that his son murders him and becomes the swolest meme of 2017. But what else is there to know about him? Well, plenty, if the original trilogy has to say about it. After a life of roguery, he becomes embroiled in the rebel cause by the Force prodigy Luke Skywalker. But before that?...

Young Han (Alden Ehrenreich) escapes from the criminal planet Corellia with only his life. His longtime girlfriend and partner in crime, Qi’ra (Emilia Clarke), is not so fortunate. The only path that leads back to Qi’ra is that of imperial soldier, then imperial deserter, then big-time coaxiom thief. Led by Tobias Beckett (Woody Harrelson) and his team, Han is plunged headfirst into the crime syndicate world and makes some new friends (Joonas Suotamo; Donald Glover) along the way.

Let me tee this up for you. Han Solo is one of the most iconic characters in one of the most influential film franchises of all time. He’s been played by Harrison Ford, one of cinema’s highest-profile actors, for all of his big-screen appearances for the last forty-one years. Solo is about his character history. Expectations are kind of high. And this is the movie we got. Even if it’s not awful, it’s not the movie his character deserved.

It’s so hard to care about anything that happens in this movie. It’s like you’re riding the world’s fastest roller coaster with ninety-degree turns. It’s kind of fun, sure, but it happens so quickly and you’re jerked around so much that it’s hard to enjoy. There’s no development of any situation; you can’t pay enough attention to become invested in any one scene.

As well, there’s not nearly enough focus on the character of Han Solo – or the character of any character, really – which is strange, because Ehrenreich’s Solo really is more of a starry-eyed team player than we know Solo to be. Young Solo doesn’t end up where New Hope Solo begins. He undergoes the kind of experience it would take to jade him into Ford’s Han, but he seems just as optimistic by the end of the film. Given, a jaded protagonist doesn’t exactly a happy ending make, but you must sacrifice as much when giving the character history of a character that is known to start his stint as jaded.

There are some fun action sequences, a few laughs, and some intriguing effects, but altogether it fails to provide any substance to a character who has defined pop culture. Oddly enough, I cared more about the one-off characters of Rogue One.

Rating: 5/10
Favorite scene: any scene with Paul Bettany (I’ve got a thing for dark capes and English accents).
Least favorite scene: any scene with Jon Favreau’s flying monkey.
REVIEW: Deadpool 2By Bri ManzanoMay 20, 2018Let’s be real with each other. I didn’t see Deadpool in theaters, and I’ve only yet seen the censored version via VidAngel, sans sex, sans language, sans gore. It was… much shorter. But, I still got the gist of the Deadpool charm. He’s foul-mouthed. He likes sex. He doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty, and he’s self-aware as a fictional character. He’s a twenty-first-century superhero - cynical awareness, moral relativism and all.

A lot has changed in the last two years. I saw Deadpool 2 in theaters without hesitation, and I don’t regret it.

Antihero Wade Wilson/Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds), in the wake of great tragedy, decides to blow himself up in order to gain some perspective. Soon after, his life takes a completely new direction, and down this new path he comes face-to-face with the troubled teen Russell (Julian Dennison) who is hunted by the time-travelling mutant Cable.

Deadpool 2 is hyesyerical. It’s the kind of hilarious that most films don’t get to be because the writers are not bound by realism or convention. Deadpool is known for his complete inability to take anything seriously, and the writers definitely join him in his carefree attitude. Where else would you find a protagonist who can leave the wheel of a gigantic rig and not only is it a joke, but it serves the plot?

Though, I’d be lying if I said the charm hasn’t worn off a little. Amidst hilarious harassment for Green Lantern and the lack of other X-Men in the film, every sixth or so meta joke feels like it’s made just because it can be, rather than because it’s actually funny. Alright, yup; Patrick Stewart played Charles Xavier in the original X-Men films. I remember. You’re foul-mouthed. I understand. But these are moments of disillusion in an otherwise comedically efficient sequel that does much of the same in an oddly satisfying way.

Is it good, though?

It’s by no means your family-friendly superhero film, but if you’ve got an adult sense of humor and you don’t mind a little gore and a lot of pop culture references, it’s definitely worth seeing.

Rating: 7.5/10
Favorite scene: Mid-credits scenes.
Least favorite scene: “All of my friends are dead.”
REVIEW: OverboardBy Bri ManzanoMay 7, 2018Why is it called Overboard again? Because he falls overboard once and then almost nothing has anything to do with his boat for the rest of the movie? Okay.

Leonardo (Eungenio Derbez) and Kate (Anna Faris) would normally have no reason to associate with each other. He’s a pompous rich playboy; she’s a struggling nurse-hopeful mother of three. At first, first impressions make… *ahem*... a splash… and not the good kind. But after he falls off his boat and lands in the hospital with retrograde amnesia, Kate takes the opportunity to show Leonardo how the other half lives.

It kind of surprises me that IMDb considers this a comedy. And not in that snide, “It can’t be a comedy because it’s not funny” kind of way, but because it doesn’t even try to be a comedy. It’s got the outlandish atmosphere of a rom-com, but it doesn’t have punchlines or humorously awkward situations. Stuff just kind of happens that doesn’t even try to make you laugh, and you’re just kind of there watching this surreal film.

It can be charming when it needs to be. It is nice to see two people change for the better and fall in love, even if they both perform like they’ve got better things to be doing. But it’s charming in the same way that a Big Mac is charming. You know there’s no real substance there, but you have to admit that it satisfies a need. It’s a guilty pleasure on a day you’re ready to indulge in humanity’s more base pleasures. In the words of the witch from Into the Woods, “You’re not good; you’re not bad; you’re just nice.”

It’s nice. And I mean that with all of the contempt that I can.

Rating: 5/10
Favorite scene: the Speedy Gonzalez reveal.
Least favorite scene: any of the family business subplot.
REVIEW: Avengers: Infinity WarBy Bri ManzanoApril 28, 2018There was more riding on this movie’s quality than almost any other movie in existence. I can think of no other franchise that reaches anywhere close to nineteen films and maintains the kind of cultural relevance that the Marvel Cinematic Universe has, let alone cultural domination. Whether or not Marvel had the omniscience all the way back in 2008 to tell that it would be so successful, who can tell? But an epic emotional journey is only so powerful until it comes to a conclusion - and that conclusion had better be fitting of what came before it.

That’s why it means so much that Infinity War is so good.

After the destruction of Asgard, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) has not had a chance to so much as exhale before Thanos (Josh Brolin) and his lackeys show up and wipe out half of the evacuated Asgardians. The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) is Bifrosted back to Earth to warn anyone and everyone who could lead the fight, and before long, the entire MCU contract filing cabinet is splayed across the universe trying to keep Thanos from retrieving all six Infinity Stones - because that be bad news for one out of every two living things in existence.

Infintiy War starts and does not stop. The beginning of the movie is the end of every other Marvel movie. There was no scene that felt like it belonged in the middle; this was a conclusion, or at least the beginning of a conclusion, if I’ve ever seen one.

There is so much to keep track of and so little that’s uninteresting. With such a large cast, you would think it’s hard to give everyone something meaningful to do, but everyone’s contribution has weight, and everyone’s plot thread is engaging. The runtime flies by.

And the ending leaves you breathless.

There’s not a whole lot I can say without spoiling things, but rest assured that if the next film follows this current trend, entertainment will be changed for the better.

Rating: 9.25/10

Favorite scene: any time Doctor Strange and Tony Stark are on the screen together.
Least favorite scene: R.I.P., my love.
REVIEW: I Feel PrettyBy Bri ManzanoApril 20, 2018I feel pretty angry; I feel pretty disappointed; I feel pretty sick of this movie’s nonsense of humor. I feel like I want my money back - not just the money I paid for the ticket, but any money that has ever gone to support anyone involved in the making of this movie.

Renee Bennett (Amy Schumer) is a mousy young woman scraping by with her fashion publication website job, her regular spin classes, and her desperate dating attempts. She suddenly finds confidence after a brutal head injury and begins to live the life she’s always found just out of reach. This confidence lands her an unlikely receptionist job at the fashion publication’s headquarters and a date with the adorkable Ethan (Rory Scovel), who is simply awed by Renee’s willingness to be herself.

There are only two reasons someone would see this movie: to laugh, or to learn.

If you’re looking to laugh, you have come to the wrong place. Rambling about nothing is not funny. Prolonged theatrics are not funny. Michelle Williams’ asthmatic parakeet voice is not funny. I Feel Pretty’s comedy is like the racecar driver who coasts slightly off course more and more throughout the race only to find himself miles away by the time it’s finished. The movie starts off ominously unfunny, becomes increasingly unfunny, and ends as aggressively unfunny.

Viewers will have a hard time learning much of anything as well. Schumer’s character doesn’t exhibit the inspiring confidence that the supporting cast would have you trying to emulate. She actually becomes a stuck-up, oblivious airhead who forgets how to read social cues and act like a normal human being. The only admirable aspect of confidence that Schumer displays as Bennett manifests when insecurity doesn’t stop her from doing the things she wants to do - applying for that dream job, participating in a bikini contest - which is a great principle by which to operate. If only it weren’t steeped in the arrogance the movie keeps touting as self-assurance.

Even if you can look past the rest of the film’s faults, there still isn’t much to work with. None of the characters are likable, save Scovel as Ethan, who plays a relatable and genuine character. There are plot threads that go nowhere. There are questionable creative decisions made that would have been simple to overwrite.

I can’t rightly blame Amy Schumer for the film’s lack of charm, but knowing how she has responded to criticism in the past, she will probably claim this movie’s critics are alt-right extremists.

They’re not. They just don’t like garbage.

Rating: 1.5/10

Favorite scene: the trailer for Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again that played before the movie.
Least favorite scene: all of it.
REVIEW: Isle of DogsBy Bri ManzanoApril 16, 2018Isle of Isle of Dogs.

It’s not your traditional animated movie. It’s not really for young kids. They’ll probably get bored. But if you have eyes, you are going to love this movie.

Isle of Dogs follows five dogs as they help a young boy locate his own pet. Japan, concerned by a rampant dog flu, has deported all dogs to a nearby island of waste known as Trash Island. Man’s best friend no longer bears that title, save for among a lonely group of rebels who aim to aid attempts to cure the dog virus and return dogs to loving homes.

Wes Anderson’s directorial style is a character of its own in the film. It contributes to the quiet - charm is not a strong enough word - charisma, let’s say of this gorgeous and beautifully crafted animated film.

Just try not to be awed by Isle of Dogs’ visuals. Stop-motion is utilized in all its glory, and intentional shot composition is religiously revered. The setting is original; the color palet is distinct; every frame is stunning. I have to give this film high marks based on visuals alone.

The film also has a unique cadence - a very genuine presence not found in most modern animated movies, or even in most modern movies in general. There is clever humor; the jokes aren’t cringey, and they aren’t predictable. You don’t feel like you’ve seen these exact characters a thousand times before. Isle of Dogs doesn’t fit the mold, and again, for that I have to give it high marks.

The “small” story does follow a pretty standard outline, and there are one or two remarks here or there I would have written differently. For these reasons I don’t feel right calling Isle of Dogs “perfect.” But I have no qualms recommending it to anyone and everyone who even mildly enjoys absolute art.

Rating: 8.75/10

Favorite scene: all of the visuals.
Least favorite scene: the ending.
REVIEW: A Quiet PlaceBy Bri ManzanoApril 9, 2018I have to give A Quiet Place a lot of points on principle alone. An original horror/thriller that uses creative storytelling techniques and draws a lot of its emotional power from subtle suggestion? How refreshing.

In the near future, the world has become overrun by creatures that attack at the slightest sound. One family collects all the information they can on the creatures and carefully navigates their newly silent world - and grief - hoping to one day regain some semblance of a normal life.

John Krasinski further establishes himself as more than just the loveable Jim; he grounds the film not only with his performance as the strong and dedicated father, but also with his performance as the strong and dedicated director. Emily Blunt is the main vehicle of suspense for the film, gripping the audience with a mother almost reminiscent of Jennifer Lawrence’s mother!. Noah Jupe and Millicent Simmonds have distinct personalities and demonstrate the complicated struggles of children maturing in the post-apocalyptic wastescape.

There is incredible creative potential for limiting the sound options in a film, and A Quiet Place does great work to break ground in this field. When one of the main vehicles for information is limited, new ways of communication are necessary. No more information is given than is necessary. “Show; don’t tell.” The movie can’t tell - it has to show. And show it does.

The best I can do is nitpick this film. There seems to be a dissonance between the amount of time the world has been a shambles and how developed their post-apocalyptic way of life is. There are some horror tropes utilized, though they make more sense in this story than any I’ve seen so far. The creature effects are a bit iffy when they’re prominent, but that’s not very often.

A Quiet Place is a great way to round off the first quarter of 2018 - thrills, tension, compelling performances, and subtle, creative storytelling.

Rating: 8.75/10

Favorite scene: Birth.
Least favorite scene: “I love you.”
REVIEW: Ready Player OneBy Bri ManzanoApril 1, 2018The trailer had me skeptical when I first saw it. But, honestly, I don’t know why I doubted Spielberg. His track record has established him as easily one of the most masterful and iconic directors of all time, and I was a bit haughty in my hesitations about Ready Player One. Not entirely haughty, but a bit.

The film does get off to an inauspicious start for picky viewers (like myself) who would rather experience natural exposition than be dumped upon by lengthy and information-heavy narration in the film’s first several minutes. There seems to be way too much the audience needs to know before starting the fun. Normally, this would make sense, as the film seems at most times to cater to a wide range of ages, but Ready Player One is less family-friendly than you would expect (featuring a few instances of the f-bomb and one of overtly sexual touching between the protagonists). Of course, this is the director’s prerogative, but it seems dissonant with the spoon-feeding narration that we get at the start of the film.

However, despite those few pedantic concerns and a few pacing difficulties, Ready Player One is really a joy to watch.

Visually, the film is positively stunning. There’s a great variety of action sequences, allowing the film to pick up just when it’s approaching a slump. The effects are game-changing. The world is vast and tangible. It feels like this is what Valerian was trying to accomplish - except this time around, they succeeded.

Once again, I have to give immense credit to Olivia Cooke, whose personality shines through even as her computerized doppelganger. Her feminine presence is not overbearing, as the feminine presence in YA films can often be, but instead, she contributes a great deal to the overall outcome and is not afraid to be graceful and subtle. She is supplemented well by Tye Sheridan, whose wide-eyed wonder harkens back to Charlie’s first days in the chocolate factory; their relationship is a bit rushed, but they have chemistry, so the pacing is excusable. Ben Mendelsohn continues to remind me of a more imposing and more brooding Wallace Shawn (which works well for this film), and TJ Miller’s awkward comedy is kept well in check with the more dramatic scenes in the film.

All the more charming are the pop-culture references. It’s like an endearing scavenger hunt of tiny thrills.

Rating: 7.7
Favorite scene: the Iron Giant.
Least favorite scene: the Iron Giant.
REVIEW: Tomb RaiderBy Bri ManzanoMarch 17, 2018After a particularly long day of couriering across London’s streets, Lara Croft (Alicia Vikander) is handed the opportunity to receive her father’s (Dominic West) massive inheritance. All she has to do is declare him legally dead - something she has refused to do in the five years since authorities stopped looking for him. She is also handed a puzzle which leads her straight to clues about her father’s disappearance, and can’t resist the call of closure.

Alicia Vikander is an incredible Lara Croft. Of course, she’s an incredible whomever she decides to portray, but for the sake of this review, her Lara Croft carries the film. The film isn’t that much of a burden, though, because it’s no juggernaut of cinema. But it is a decent action flick, and the fact that I can say that about a video game adaptation is a huge deal.

Vikander, as noted, is the main tentpole of Tomb Raider. There is a stunningly subtlety to her performance when the script calls for it. Her inflection and pacing give more to the role than may have originally been there. Her Lara feels not only like a real heroine, but a real person, and one I can’t wait to see develop further in later installments.

Oh, yes, believe me, there will be further installments if it does well enough at the box office. The villainous organization Trinity is specifically kept underdeveloped in order to be explored in later films, making for a diluted threat in Lara’s first outing in the franchise. Perhaps there will be more of a payoff later, but it didn’t work well for Tomb Raider. (Personally, I feel the movie is more about Lara and her father than it is about her attempt to halt the progress of the villain, so I think this lackluster antagonist is excusable, but it’s still noteworthy.)

The script also suffers from a large amount of action-adventure tropes, making it only exciting to watch for the first half or two-thirds. After that point, it feels like a strange Frankenstein’s monster of Indiana Jones and The Hunger Games with a bit of The Walking Dead and The Mummy (2017) thrown in there near the end. It just feels like I’ve seen it all before.

But the fact that I can say the word “decent” anywhere near a video game adaptation is a sign that the industry is headed in the right direction. The writing has a way to go before it’s Shakespearean, but I’m willing to see it through if it means I get a decent Portal film before I die.

Rating: 6.75/10
Favorite scene: Alicia Vikander.
Least favorite scene: Why would you cut off the circulation in your arm if you’re not going to cut it off?
REVIEW: ThoroughbredsBy Bri ManzanoMarch 11, 2018Lily (Anya Taylor-Joy) is stylish, stunning, and as spoiled as they come. The only thing separating her from the perfect education plan, though, is her cold and vicious stepfather, Mark (Paul Sparks). She tolerates him, letting her hatred for him fester, until she reconnects with long-lost middle-school friend Amanda (Olivia Cooke), who exists entirely detached from natural human emotion and simply suggests they kill him. Lily doesn’t need much convincing.

I’ve heard it said that camerawork which draws attention to itself, even if it’s excellent, defeats the purpose of camerawork in general. But Thoroughbreds’ camerawork only draws attention to itself because of the shoddy editing that is so prevalent in today’s films. The film’s aesthetic is chilling, in both senses of the word - it is taut, haunting - and it gave me chills. The good kind. The takes are long; there’s a lot of following, walking and waiting. It creates a deliciously suspenseful air and - oh - what a payoff.

Anya Taylor-Joy continues to solidify her reputation as a rising star, but Olivia Cooke is the main attraction in Thoroughbreds. Her Amanda is striking, shameless, and unforgettable. Anton Yelchin gest more of an emotional response than either of the leads, but that’s the point.

Yes, it is slow. If that’s not your thing then you won’t like it. But if you’re awake and you enjoy an effective, gorgeously shot and edited, well-performed film, you’re going to love it.

Rating: 8.8/10
Favorite scene: Long takes are murder.
Least favorite scene: Poor Anton Yelchin.
REVIEW: A Wrinkle in TimeBy Bri ManzanoMarch 11, 2018There’s only so much time in the day; thus, there is a limited amount of time that I get to explore this stunning world in which we live or pursue my most treasured life goals. By writing reviews for this podcast team, I am, in fact, allowed to pursue those dreams. But sometimes it makes me reconsider my dreams when my dreams involve spending my very valuable time watching movies like A Wrinkle in Time.

Madeleine L’Engle’s classic novel even today cherishes a status as one of the most beloved books of all time. Meg Murray’s wildly colorful tale has been adapted into several media - including a 2003 TV-movie - but voracious readers and adventure-seekers alike continue to seek out the novel when their hearts are are set on the real story.

Unfortunately, that’s not what you get with Disney’s latest fare. I am the first one to jump to Disney’s defense (sometimes even against my better judgement), but this is defenseless.

A Wrinkle in Time’s most glaring fault is its script. If you didn’t read the book, good luck following anything - although I’ve heard it diverts from the book a good deal. Things just seem to happen; the plot is a series of non sequiturs that the film tumbles through with no relevant explanation. Thematically, the script covers a myriad of emotionally heavy topics but spreads itself too thin to say anything potent about any of them. The dialogue is corny. Calvin (Levi Miller) contributes absolutely nothing to the ultimate conclusion. This was a disaster on all fronts.

The performances do little to bolster the script. Storm Reid excels in her more vulnerable scenes, but flounders when little is on the line. Deric McCabe downright cringe-inducing (though child actors often leave a lot to be desired). Levi Miller isn’t given the chance to do anything impressive. The three misses do well enough, although Reese Witherspoon is her all-too-often brand of obnoxiously flaky. There is glaringly too little of Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Chris Pine.

Most marketing for A Wrinkle in Time now contains glib quotes that undoubtedly describe the visuals. The costuming, of course, is beautiful, but what good does it do to gild a paperweight? The film may look pretty, but ultimately it keeps anyone from connecting from the book.

What a waste.

Rating: 2.5/10
Favorite scene: Chris Pine.
Least favorite scene: Deric McCabe.
REVIEW: Death WishBy Bri ManzanoMarch 3, 2018It’s basically Taken, but Liam Neeson is Bruce Willis; he’s had no government training; Famke Janssen dies and Maggie Grace is in a coma.

To everyone complaining about how terrible this movie was: did anyone expect Death Wish to win any Academy Awards? Did anyone see the trailer for Death Wish and think, “This movie is going to say something profound about the state of our world today”? No. If you signed up to see this movie, you knew exactly what you were getting into. If you expected more from it, that’s your own problem.

I’m not going to defend this movie to the death (wish). Because it’s not flawless. Like I said, it’s exactly what you would expect it to be.

There’s not really much else to say about Death Wish. You don’t see it for the performances; you see it because we live in a world where terrorists are hard to catch and significant others cheat and humans contain a lot of pent-up, unresolved frustration, and sometimes you just really want to see bad guys get theirs.

Rating: 5.4/10

BUT I had fun watching it. It’s not a bad way to spend an hour and fifty minutes.

Favorite scene: The Ice Cream Man.
Least favorite scene: You can definitely tell Eli Roth directed this film.
REVIEW: Black PantherBy Bri ManzanoFebruary 18, 2018In the wake of his father’s death, T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) must bear not only the burden of the crown and the mantle of his country’s protector, the Black Panther, but also the weight of his father’s loss, and whatever ugly secrets his father may have left behind. As T’Challa balances grief and responsibility, he must keep his country from being outed as a technologically advanced utopia - lest Wakanda’s deadly weapons wind up in the hands - or Klaues - of those who would use them for sinister ends.

Let me be frank: I love most Marvel movies. They may be formulaic; they may have their trusted tropes; and they’re certainly not beyond reproach, but as a consumer, they give me what I want, so I’m there every opening weekend and they’ve got my attention from the flashy logo to the post-credits scene. But I didn’t just love Black Panther as a consumer. I loved it as a critic, and as a lover of films that can be talked about for more than just their surface-level elements. I loved it as a conservative who loves all kinds of people but hates tokenism and pandering. I loved Black Panther and I could probably talk for a while about why I loved this movie.

Chadwick Boseman stepped into the Marvel Cinematic Universe in 2016’s Civil War and was openly welcomed by most, but I was skeptical - and only because such important character introductions in films as crowded as Civil War are rarely handled with grace. But Boseman’s T’Challa remains loyal to the character that was born in Civil War but came into his own in Black Panther even as early as his first scene, and he sets the tone for the rest of the movie: different from his already-established comrades, and refreshingly so; slightly more sophisticated than his predecessors; reverent, vibrant, suave, charming.

I could talk at length about the racial element of this film, but I really shouldn’t have to in order to discuss why it’s great. It’s not preachy about the fact that he’s the first mainstream black superhero. In fact, the words “black” and “white,” I believe, are only said once each throughout the entire film. T’Challa is not special because he’s black; he is surrounded by blackness. He is special because of his captivating struggle, his unwavering loyalty to what’s good, and his unique position in the Marvel universe. And even as racial as the film becomes (with use of the word “colonizer”), the resolution is as diplomatic as it could possibly be. (I would imagine that people on both sides of any racial tension would be satisfied with Boseman’s closing monologue.)

Other things I loved about Black Panther: stunning visuals; original fight scenes; emotional intrigue; appropriately paced development; largely natural humor; fantastic performances fascinating fresh spin on the superhero film. In many of these ways, Black Panther should set the tone for the rest of the MCU.

It’s not perfect, though. Amongst the authentic performances, Michael B. Jordan seemed to waver at times - which is a shame, because his character is seething with bitterness and rich with inner turmoil. The effects aren’t always flawless, and like I said, the plot does eventually take a turn for the racial, but it resolves in a way that is sure to appease nearly everyone.

Rating: 8.95/10
Favorite scene: Busan chase
Least favorite scene: “Death is better than bondage.”
REVIEW: The 15:17 to ParisBy Bri ManzanoFebruary 11, 2018I’d like to preface my review with a respectful recognition of the 15:17 to Paris heroes. Obviously their quick thinking and self-sacrifice deserve the admiration that the film is intended to bring them. The film simply suffers from a myriad of issues that fail to honor the heroes in the way they should be honored.

The 15:17 to Paris follows the story of Spencer Stone and his close friends Alek Skarlatos and Anthony Sadler. As the three friends navigate the hurdles of adolescence and young adulthood, they learn their place in the world, unaware that one day, they will save hundreds of lives by stopping a gruesome terrorist attack.

Of course, I read my own synopsis after having seen the movie and think, “This movie had potential. What went wrong?” Well, mistake number one was giving 15:17 to Paris the poster of a Neeson-esque thriller and marketing it as an action-thriller. This is the actual synopsis on IMDb: “Three American discover a terrorist plot aboard a train while in France.” SPOILER ALERT: the terrorist attack is only the last twenty minutes of the movie, and the rest of it is life story that feels, at best, only marginally related to the focal event of the film. Once the climax comes, it gets across the horror and the rush of the moment, but it’s like sifting through piles of tax documents trying to get there.

Normally this kind of movie can only be so liberal with creative license if it’s going to market itself as “a true story.” However, even “true story” films are generally centric around a particular theme that make the focal point of the movie seem relevant to the protagonist’s journey in some way. 15:17 to Paris doesn’t feel like much of a journey, but more like a random assortment of scenes string together not even acknowledging each other as they pass by.

Now, I have to give the acting more credit than I originally anticipated because only halfway through the film did I realize that the three men are portrayed by themselves. They’re not actors, so there’s only so much you can expect from them. But even from the professionals, the acting is lacking - especially from the child actors. It just feels as though no one is taking it seriously.

Honestly, there just isn’t enough here to make a good movie. Maybe a better movie than we got, with a bit more of a theme to pull together the loose collection of less-than-interesting moments, but not a good movie, unless there’s an abundance of relevant information that I’m missing. I just wish we could have more appropriately honored the stars of the film.

Rating: 2.75/10
Favorite scene: The climax (the part you came to see).
Least favorite scene: The club scene.
REVIEW: The Maze Runner: The Death CureBy Bri ManzanoJanuary 26, 2018In this third installment of the Maze Runner film franchise, we rejoin Thomas (Dylan O'Brien), Newt (Thomas Brodie-Sangster), Brenda (Rosa Salazar), and Frypan (Dexter Darden) in the thick of their valiant attempts to rescue their brother in arms Minho (Ki Hong Lee). WICKED, resolute in their quest for a cure, holds Minho in a testing facility at the mercies of the unfeeling Janson (Aidan Gillen) and the rebels' former compatriot Teresa (Kaya Scodelario). As Thomas and the group search for an extraction point, they must continue to run - from WICKED, and from the Scorch itself.

There is very little that makes The Death Cure stand out among dystopian YA films. The story follows the roadmap of all the others, stopping to bask in the glow of the touristy spots along the way. Sometimes it feels justifiable; these characters may be bland, but at least they've got noble aspirations. Other times it feels like the writers went to the supermarket of YA tropes on an empty stomach.

But, of course, would a dystopian YA film be complete without its Christmas list of story elements and emotional beats? The tropes are all but genre staples. You can't really ask for much more than The Death Cure gives you - boiling tension, thrills, tragedy, and a touch of humor. It's heavily reliant on the earlier films, so if you haven't seen them, you will be pretty lost. But it keeps your attention. It's a nice midwinter summer popcorn piece.

Rating: 5/10
Favorite scene: the bus scene.
Least favorite scene: the title is very misleading...
Best of 2017By Quinn OxleyJanuary 6, 20182017 was an interesting year for film. We got films as celebrated as Guardians Vol. 2 and Thor: Ragnarok, as polarizing as Star Wars: The Last Jedi (if you're smart you love it though), and as mind-numbingly terrible as The Emoji Movie. But what remains the most memorable of the year? I don't have quite ten films, but three stood out to me as particular praiseworthy. In no particular order, my favorites of 2017 are...

1) Baby Driver. Rating: 8.5/10

Edgar Wright has already established his reputation as a creative, stylized director. I'm still lamenting the Ant-Man we didn't get to see. Wright's Baby Driver is not only an original story (i.e., not a sequel, prequel, reboot, or adaptation), but the soundtrack is incredible; the cast is stellar; and, of course, Wright's universe is stylish and sexy. If it weren't for the Kevin Spacey controversy, Baby Driver would likely have continued to be the darling of 2017.

2) The Big Sick. Rating: 8.75/10

What a surprise. I did not want to see this movie, but my best friend dragged me to it and I'm so glad she did. As I said in my review, The Big Sick is billed as a rom-com, but it's way more of a drama that is romantic and hilarious. The story of a real couple with real problems and real personalities. Kumail Nanjiani is a gem; Zoe Kazan is charming and real; Holly Hunter is a spitfire and Ray Romano is Ray Romano. It's got a bit of a cheesy ending, but the rest of the film makes that more than forgivable.

3) The Disaster Artist. Rating: 8.7/10

You knew this film had to be on my best-of list. Dave Franco fails the film fantastically but James Franco becomes Tommy Wiseau in a lovingly empathetic yet comical reflection of the Polish (?) prince of bad movies gone good. The film stays largely true to the actual events and dialogue surrounding the production of The Room and endears audiences to Wiseau's unconventional achievement of the American dream. (Franco should get the Oscar for Best Actor, but I think he'll only be nominated. If anything it'll get Best Adapted Screenplay.)
Discussion: 4 Common Complaints About ‘The Last Jedi'By Carlos ChiribogaDecember 19, 2017

‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ is proving to be an overwhelmingly divisive film, and understandably so: it takes a lot of risks and goes in directions many were not prepared for. Some hardcore Star Wars fans (a little less than half of them according to Rotten Tomatoes) found themselves disappointed in the final product. But why? I will attempt to address that along with many of the more common complaints about the film in a very SPOILER-FILLED manner. So, if you have not seen the film, stop reading here.



Full disclosure, I am a fan of The Last Jedi and my love for it grows by the day. While I am in the 56% of fans who liked it, there are legitimate problems with it. The pacing of the film drags mostly due to the casino planet sequence that is simply too long; the humor often goes a beat too far; and there are certain moments (such as the Leia floating scene and Rose kissing Finn) that are not executed all that well and come off as cheesy. These, among others, are fair reasons to dislike the film. However, there are some common issues fans have raised that simply do not hold up to careful scrutiny. Let’s examine these complaints one at a time.



Complaint number one: “They ruined Luke Skywalker.”



Besides the obvious counter argument of “people can change in 30 years,” there is a bigger issue here of understanding Luke’s motives in this film. No, he was not a “coward” who gave up when things got difficult. He was a master who secluded himself in shame after failing his nephew – by pondering murder, no less. And is that really any different than the Luke we know? Doing something emotional and rash, and something that he likely was not ready to do (such as going to face Vader to save his friends or, in this case, starting a Jedi temple). Realizing that you considered murdering your nephew would probably mess you up too.



As for his personality, if we can accept that prequel-era Yoda turns into the slightly insane Yoda that we meet in Empire Strikes Back, how is this any different? A Jedi secludes himself after his failures and becomes a little less self-serious after a while away from civilization. It is at least comparable.



Luke’s death has also been an area of contention among many. What many are calling anti-climactic, I call beautiful. Luke’s death very much mirrors that of Obi-Wan’s in A New Hope. They both become one with the Force after fulfilling their purposes and facing their greatest failures: the pupils that they lost, all the while giving those they cared about time to escape. To simplify it to “he ran out of force batteries” is a complete disservice to that moment.



Complaint number two: “They set up this mystery of Snoke in The Force Awakens only to kill him off?”



First, The Force Awakens does not make a big deal out of who Snoke is or where he came from. That film presents him as simply an evil overlord who corrupted Ben Solo; there are no allusions to Snoke’s past or where he came from. The fan theories are to blame for those expectations.



In all reality, if you apply the logic of this complaint to the original trilogy, you could say the same thing about the Emperor. We are never given his backstory in those films and he dies after roughly the same amount of screen time as Snoke had - none in episode IV, one scene in episode V and 15 minutes in episode VI. Yes, we get the backstory in the prequels, but the point is: were people complaining after Return of the Jedi that they did not pay off the mysteries of the Emperor? I think not. Not to mention that killing Snoke propels us into the unexpected direction of the ever-complex Kylo Ren being the big bad of the final film.



Complaint number three: “The answer to the question of Rey’s parents is not satisfying.”



Again, (and I know this one is going to be harder to convince people of than Snoke’s death not being anticlimactic), The Force Awakens does not make a big deal of Rey’s parentage. It mentions that she was left on Jakku by her parents, and that she thought they would come back for her one day, but that is about it. The scene many often point to in The Force Awakens to say they did is when Maz Kanata asks, “Who’s the girl?” immediately followed by a cut away to a different scene. But did anyone ever consider that maybe we just did not need to hear an answer we already knew? “She’s some girl from Jakku who was on my ship when I found it.” Riveting. In fact the idea of Rey letting go of the idea of her parents originates from The Force Awakens.



The fans made a big deal of Rey’s parentage, and I understand why. Family has always been a major theme in Star Wars. However, The Last Jedi sets out to establish a new theme: the Force is for everyone. Luke bluntly says as much and the final scene of the film with some kid from Canto Bight using the force reinforces the idea.



Rey being a descendent of no one important works because one of the points that the movie is attempting to make throughout is that you do not need to have special parents to be special yourself. The fact that many ‘Star Wars’ fans think she needs to have special parents for the force to use her is sad and honestly says something about our own society.



Even if we apply this logic of “her parents need to be important” to the Skywalker lineage, it eventually falls apart. Yes, Luke was the son of Anakin; but, Anakin was the son of Shmi, a random slave on Tatooine who the Force seemingly chose for no reason. Who were her parents? Oh right; nobody cares. It does not matter.



Complaint number four: “This movie is poorly structured and does not progress the story enough.”



Ok, this one has shades of truth. As previously mentioned, the Canto Bight sequence is long and some could argue unnecessary. However, without it we would not have that small but important thematic moment of the kid who had been inspired by Poe and Rose telling stories about Luke and using the force.



More importantly, this idea that the film does not progress the story enough is baffling, especially considering that The Last Jedi is structurally similar to Empire Strikes Back: rebels on the run while the Force-sensitive protagonist is off training on another planet. The Last Jedi actually progresses the story far more than Empire Strikes Back did because it also has many elements of Return of the Jedi in the third act in particular with both the death of Snoke and Luke.



Ultimately, the fact that The Last Jedi broke the mold of what we expect from a Star Wars film is what makes the movie work so well. It subverts expectations and keeps the viewer off balance the entire time. How many times do we see the rebellious hero disobey seemingly incompetent leadership to execute his or her own plan and succeed? To see Poe fail and be wrong was genuinely surprising.



And how much time did we spend thinking about what Luke would say or do when Rey handed him the lightsaber? To see him toss it over his shoulder was jarring and frankly off-putting at first, so I understand the feeling. However, the reality is that those types of shocking choices are what made things like the universally-loved, throne room scene work so well - because by that moment, the movie had trained you to genuinely believe that any outcome was possible, which was thrilling.



The Last Jedi left things off in a place where we are forced to let go of the tropes of the franchise’s past and expect new things. I have no idea where Episode IX will go, and that is exciting.



I know that this is not going to convince many of you, and if you still do not like the movie, that is fair. But, let us know why on our social media accounts! Do so in a respectful and thought out manner though, please.


REVIEW: Star Wars: The Last JediBy Quinn OxleyDecember 15, 2017It’s good.

It’s really, really, really, really good.

Okay, it has its low moments. There are some scenes where you can strongly feel the light-hearted influence, and it feels a lot more like a Disney movie than a Star Wars movie. And I’m not a fan of Laura Dern. At all.

But despite my few complaints, The Last Jedi is an incredible film. It’s difficult to go into exactly why it’s so great without spoiling anything, but rest assured, I love what they’ve done with the characters they’ve given us, and it hits all the marks of a great Star Wars film - action, humor, emotion… and lightsabers.

I’m going to see it again. And that says a lot, because it takes a lot to get me to watch a movie that’s more than two and a half hours.

Rating: 8/10
REVIEW: The Disaster ArtistBy Quinn OxleyDecember 11, 2017Longtime fans will know I’m a fan of The Room. I can quote the movie from beginning to end; I’ve watched countless best-of compilations; I wrote up an entire trailer reaction the day of The Disaster Artist’s trailer release. Tommy Wiseau is a saint (and a writer, and an actor, and a director, and a producer, and a financier…).

So I was insanely excited for this film.

Tommy Wiseau (James Franco). What a name. What a face. What a head of hair. He’s… um… eccentric, and in the strangest of ways. Greg Sestero (Dave Franco) one day asks Tommy to do a scene with him for their acting class, and before they know it they’re travelling to LA together to try to make it big as actors. This proves harder than suspected, though, and soon enough they decide to make their own movie together instead of waiting for their big break. But critics are harsh, and Tommy has his own very unconventional, often hostile way of doing things.

James Franco, and by extension Tommy Wiseau, is the star of the film. The first scene had be skeptical, but soon his caricature became a loving and empathetic mirroring of Wiseau’s charming eccentricity. The mystery is mesmerizing, due in part to the actual Wiseau’s secrecy and in part to James’s respectful portrayal.

Greg Sestero, however, is not so fortunate. Dave Franco seems to only be playing Dave Franco; I failed to see much Sestero in the mix. The story is told through Sestero’s experiences; he is in essence the audience’s conduit for a firsthand encounter with James’s Wiseau. Because Dave lacks a genuine likability, the entire experience is cheapened. His casting is excusable, because, as brothers, James and Dave will experience a chemistry unlike that of James with any other actor. But The Disaster Artist deserves so much more than “excusable.”

But again, James makes for an incredible Wiseau. Not only did the cast and crew of the film remain very true to the events that actually took place during the filming of The Room, but they do so in such an enthusiastic and appreciative way. It is obvious that Wiseau lacks the conventional charm of those who make it in Hollywood, but as an audience member, you cannot help but root for him because his story is one of undying devotion to a dream.

I suppose one of the reasons I love this film so much is because the actual story is so worth telling. Wiseau’s personality is so worth marveling at. But the great accomplishment of James Franco and (most of) the cast and crew of The Disaster Artist is its portrayal in such an admiring way.

It’s hilarious; it’s inspirational; and it’s going in my top ten for the year.

Rating: 8.7/10
Why Justice League Was a Step in the Right DirectionBy Dennis MoralesNovember 22, 2017Justice League

Cast: Gal Gadot, Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Jason Momoa, Ezra Miller, Ray Fisher, J.K. Simmons, Willem Dafoe, Amber Heard, Amy Adams

Spoilers Ahead:

Most people who went into the theater didn’t just watch Batman v Superman thirty minutes prior in order to fuel themselves up to hate this movie, but instead, saw something interesting. They saw a movie that will hopefully push the tone for the DCEU moving forward. The cast was masterfully assembled. They pushed what was a story without a strong villain into a movie about the Justice League learning to work together.   

Ben Affleck is a strong Batman, emphasizing and embodying the classic Randian hero - a man who is smarter than everyone else, while looking good, and one who never gives up on doing whatever it takes to accomplish his goals (even if it means doing the exact thing Luthor did with slightly better tech). Reviving Superman was a risky move in the eyes of Wonder Woman, but to Batman the world is ending and he can’t stop it; so, does it matter who ends it? If Superman comes back and he can save the world, the risk is worth it. That kind of insanity is why we love Batman. We also got brother eye and a few more contingencies (Lois Lane being the first one). This could be the best Batman ever.

Wonder Woman was gentle and beautiful while leading the team off the field, as well as, powerful and menacing on the field fighting Steppenwolf and Superman. Her story of discovering how to be a true leader should be built upon. I think she embodies this kind of insecurity that women can sometimes struggle with; she knows she is capable but she doubts herself. Characteristics like this make Wonder Woman the most relatable character, who just so happens to be a God.  It is a truly powerful one two punch that could lead a Justice League team.

Ezra Miller was fun and honestly uplifting, showing real, understandable growth in this movie. He will most likely be the conduit in which this franchise will be reinvigorated. Not because he’s the funny member, but because historically when DC needs a reboot Flash is at the helm. The rumors about his Flashpoint movie and Geoff Johns becoming more involved make this DC fan hopeful for a better future with cooler characters - like Aquaman!

Jason Momoa made Aquaman cool. Can everyone take a minute to appreciate that? Not only because he was all rock and roll jumping head first into battle with anyone, anywhere. Aesthetically, he was what Aquaman needed to be in order to move him away from being the running joke of the Justice League. In traditional Momoa fashion you can’t make jokes at this terrifying man’s expense. His relatable version of Aquaman is the best I have ever seen. Traditionally, Aquaman is an aloof king who refuses to put anything before Atlantis with little time for humor. Momoa is king of a beautiful country and I cannot wait for the Aquaman solo film. In a fun twist, the eye candy of this movie was Momoa. Point DC.

Henry Cavill is a good superman plagued by poor scripts and a director who is hell-bent on turning the big blue boy scout into something he isn’t. Joss Whedon, hallowed be thy name, took over this movie and likely inserted an opening scene which showed a kind Superman taking time to do an interview for a kid’s podcast. Inserting moments like these to educate people about his culture and who he is as a person was a huge step towards making him that beacon of hope Batman wants to him to be. Hopefully this will be the norm moving forward. I am excited now that Superman is back, looking refreshed. He wants to make good jokes and take bad guys to town with his overwhelming power. Steppenwolf was too scared to attempt an invasion while Superman was still alive. Now we have the Trinity back in action on the big screen played by three amazing actors who will propel this universe forward.  

Ray Fisher’s performance as Cyborg was amazing. We need more before we can call him a good character. For now, his character has some bad CGI and is an underdeveloped mess. Still, somehow Ray pulled off a strong enough performance to be a favorite even if only in a scattered few moments.

I have highlighted the strengths of the movie not because it was perfect, it most certainly isn’t, but because there are a lot of strong points that DC can build off of. So, I am going to ask a favor of DC. Take everything good about these characters; everything that has worked in the comics and reboot. That is why DC has the Flash and why source material like Flashpoint would be perfect. You can let Zack Snyder go noir with the Flashpoint Universe it seems like a storyline like that would be in his wheelhouse. But, when you start over, just understand three things. Wonder Woman. Batman. Superman.
REVIEW: Murder on the Orient ExpressBy Quinn OxleyNovember 12, 2017The solution is never as simple as you may believe at first. And it’s not just the clues and conflicting stories that bring you to this conclusion - with a cast as star-studded as this, of course everyone is a suspect.

World-famous detective Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branaugh) is thrust yet again into murder and intrigue as he boards the Orient Express with several beguiling strangers and discovers the dead body of a shifty man named Ratchet (Johnny Depp). As the Express is halted by snowfall, Poirot must deduce which stranger has done the deed before the murderer strikes again.

This is a gorgeous movie. I’m sure it’s the period piece setting and the celebrity aesthetic but oh my word, Orient Express is a gorgeous movie. Its effects may be wonky from time to time but along with the sparkle of the period, it boasts some creative cinematography that draws in the viewer and makes for an overall pleasant experience.

Kenneth Branaugh was the perfect Hercule Poiriot, bringing a lovable eccentricity to the role. Josh Gad also, surprisingly, has his moment to shine amongst the crowded cast, and of course Johnny Depp and Daisey Ridley are their usual talented selves. The cast on the whole brought the picture together.

The film is not without its flaws, though. I would say that the culprit seems obvious, but my point of view was sullied from the beginning as I’ve read the book. Though, there is an exchange which takes place at the beginning of the film that I thought gave away the ending prematurely. There are a few pacing issues, but those resolve as the mystery intensifies.

I was very excited for Murder on the Orient Express, and I was definitely not disappointed.

Rating: 7.7/10
REVIEW: Thor: RagnarokBy Quinn OxleyNovember 3, 2017Is it better than Thor: The Dark World? Definitely. Is it the best MCU film? Aaaaaaagggggghhhhhhh…

No. It’s not the best.

But that’s because we’ve been blessed with The Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, and both Captain America sequels. Ragnarok is not the best MCU film, and it’s got some fundamental problems that give it a pretty shaky foundation, but it is… (clears throat)... Hela fun.

So there’s this thing called Ragnarok. It’s the foretold end of Asgard, and it’s inescapable. Thor arrives back on Asgard after confronting Surtur, the brute force behind Ragnarok, only to discover Loki’s ruse and find himself thrust on a quest to escape a gladiator-esque world of warcraft and save Asgard - and all the other realms - from Hela and her hellish fury.

A quick survey of Rotten Tomatoes finds that none of the MCU films are certified rotten. Even with its current 93%, Ragnarok isn’t far in quality from the rest of Marvel’s heroes gallery.

And that plays out perfectly on the silver screen. The film doesn’t take itself too seriously, which is one of its greatest strengths… and faults, but I suppose that depends on who you ask. Ragnarok is hilarious, keeping in line with the outrageous and often sarcastic humor of the rest of the MCU, but almost feels crowded with jokes.

The film also largely takes place far away from the main antagonist, which gives much of the film’s conflict an irrelevant feel, but it’s still fun to watch. I never felt bored, and despite a pretty campy feel and a disregard for convention, I was very entertained, so I can’t complain.

Chris Hemsworth’s Thor is much more sarcastic this time around; his character feels changed from previous installments. And Loki’s character seems a bit watered down, despite his interesting history. (But you’ll never hear me saying anything bad about Tom Hiddleston’s performance, because he really is a god. I’m not biased.) Tess Thompson’s Valkyrie is a fascinating new addition to the MCU, but the real femme fatale of the film is Cate Blanchett. Hela is a remarkable first female villain and likely one of the most memorable Marvel villains to date.

If you like Marvel movies, you will enjoy Thor: Ragnarok. Take a hint from the film itself and don’t take it too seriously, and you’ll have a grand old time.

Rating: 7.5/10
REVIEW: The SnowmanBy Quinn OxleyOctober 22, 2017The Snowman: the Blackhat of 2017. You thought you’d seen the worst of it with The Emoji Movie, huh? Well, guess again.

All you really need to know is that Michael Fassbender - muscle-bound, strong-jawed action hero Michael Fassbender - plays a character whose literal name is Harry Hole. And it’s not like the film tries to sidestep this; characters call him that several times throughout the film and expect you to still take them seriously. (Apparently, his name is pronounced “ho-leh” in the original novel, but despite the major presence of Norwegian-sounding names, “Harry Hole” is the one they decide to Americanize.)

Obviously Fassbender’s name is not my only issue with The Snowman. It’s poorly paced. It’s confusing. It’s bloated. It’s unconventional in the worst of ways and formulaic in the worst of ways. Probably the most egregious of all: it’s boring.

I could go into more detail, but I can sum up my response to The Snowman in one sentence: there are two minutes of opening credits, but the main character’s name is Harry Hole.

One thing I will say in the film’s favor is that Rebecca Ferguson acts miles ahead of her character’s actual quality. Both of the film’s leads deserve so much better.

Rating: 2.5/10
REVIEW: FlatlinersBy Quinn OxleyOctober 1, 2017As September comes to a close, I find myself looking back on the month I so eagerly anticipated and languishing in its mediocrity. It was lovely; mother! was a visual assault; Kingsman was an immense disappointment; and now, Flatliners.

Have you ever wondered what happens after you die? Well, you still will.

Medical student Courtney Holmes (Ellen Page) one day brings her friends Jamie (James Norton) and Sophia (Kiersey Clemons) to the hospital basement and asks them, for scientific purposes, to stop her heart. What ensues is, at first, an “awakening” of sorts, as one by one Courtney’s friends try “flatlining” and experience its drug-like euphoria - and then, unexpectedly, its dire consequences.

It started off with so much potential. So much. Flatliners had such an intriguing first act (as a sci-fi/thriller… is anyone really calling this a horror movie?) with characters I cared to see succeed and which made me increasingly skeptical of the film’s follow-up act. “They’ve gotten me this far; they just have to build on what they’ve gotten.” Apparently that was too much to ask.

This movie was extremely disappointing.

If you like cautionary tales about taking responsibility for your actions, but you like them without subtlety or nuance or creativity or charm beyond the first act, you’ll love Flatliners.

Rating: 3/10
REVIEW: Kingsman: The Golden CircleBy Quinn OxleySeptember 22, 2017Some sequels are incredible. They follow up their predecessors so well that we’re given a new, fresh take on the characters and perhaps introduced to some new friends along the way, but we also come away with a renewed appreciation of the first film. Some sequels even ascend second-tier status and head straight to bearing the mantle of “great movie” on their own merit, and people can appreciate them without even having seen the original.

Yeah, this isn’t one of those sequels.

The Golden Circle picks back up with Eggsy (Taron Egerton, AKA perfection, not biased) as he attempts to balance life as a Kingsman with life as the SO of a Swedish princess (yeah, the one who was in all of five minutes of The Secret Service). After the execution of virtually every Kingsman, Eggsy and Merlin (Mark Strong) must reach out to their American cousin-agency, Statesman, and connect the dots which compose the Golden Circle.

The follow-up contains some of the signature cartoonish charm of The Secret Service, complete with epic one-shot fight sequences and stylized, comic-bookish violence. Also complete with Taron Egerton’s perfection (not biased) and Colin Firth’s perfection (not biased), with the added variable of Channing Tatum’s perfection (not biased).

However, The Golden Circle is just similar enough to be called a loose rehash of the original, and just different enough not to have captured the full Kingsman glory. There’s a fundamental draw that simply isn’t there anymore. It may have something to do with the underdeveloped Poppy (Julianne Moore), or the contrived romance between Eggsy and Princess Tilde, or the omission of Colin Firth’s proper Harry from much of the film, or the incredibly strange, pivotal Elton John “cameo.” There’s just something not right about the direction they took this film.

It’s still decent fun; it’s not awful. It’s just not what it could have been, and that hurts my heart, because The Secret Service was so grand.

But I got to see Taron Egerton in a suit for two and a half hours, so you won’t see me asking for my money back (not biased).

Rating: 4.5/10
REVIEW: mother!By Quinn OxleySeptember 15, 2017I’m just not sure what you want me to say.

mother! is not for casual moviegoers. In fact, I’d say it’s not even for most moviegoers, and it’s sure as anything not for the faint of heart. I left the movie a trembling, nauseous wreck; I had to call somebody just to bring me back to reality.

I did not like this movie. In fact, I hated it, and if I never see mother! again, it will still be too soon.

But that does not make it a bad movie.

Jennifer Lawrence plays the part of the worn and weary homemaker compellingly enough, and Javier Bardem, as usual, is incredible. The camerawork is a bit claustrophobic, but the sound is enveloping and the environment swallows you whole. Which makes the disturbing parts all the more disturbing.

I will make no judgements as to whether or not you will enjoy mother!. Anyone going in expecting a literal narrative will undoubtedly be disappointed; the film should only be looked at as a haunting, horrifying metaphor.

That being said, the metaphor is one that will prompt a fascinating discussion when imbibed by the right audience. It’s simply that most moviegoers want the answer to the question posed by the trailer - Why are the visitors so intrusive? - and would rather not spend hours interpreting the metaphor. And what you see on the screen, the literality of mother!, especially in the last half-hour, will shock and disgust you.

Is it good, though?

I will be the one to spend hours picking it apart. I am devoted to the metaphor, but I will also spend hours trying to forget what I’ve been subjected to. By the end, the movie stoops so low as to tell you what it stands for, which compromises the whole experience, but overall, Darren Aronofsky has accomplished something truly memorable.

Rating: 6.5/10
THE GENIUS OF: Javier BardemBy Quinn OxleySeptember 12, 2017Some actors, like Tim Curry, have such a range that they can morph into anyone from Nigel Thornberry to literally the devil (see last week’s post). Other actors, like Javier Bardem, play the same character over and over again, cultivating one image over time, and totally nailing it every time (see this week’s post).

Javier Bardem is the scariest person to ever walk the face of the earth.

We all know that no one asked for Pirates 5: Dead Men Tell No Tales - and it shows. There is virtually nothing in the film of value. The whole third act was a mess; the film introduced too many new characters without retaining the charm of the original. And yet, I gave it a 6 out of 10. Because of the “terrifying Spanish jaguar-man.” As I said, “Uwe Boll could direct a creature feature where the creature was just Bardem running around spouting poetry for two hours and it would be bone-chilling.”

Bardem has carved out a sweet little niche for himself in American cinema. All he needs is one chance to make an indelible impression. Between No Country for Old Men and Skyfall, Bardem has established himself on a wide scale as not just intimidating, but downright terrifying; his stare, his gravitas bleeds tension that would dull a steak knife. His booming voice and thick accent sound very much like the last thing you hear right before you die.

Check out Bardem in this weekend’s wide release, Mother! (Or you’ll find Bardem in your closet Sunday night.)
REVIEW: ItBy Quinn OxleySeptember 9, 2017As I lay on my bed, television droning on in the background, I scour IMDb for tidbits on iconic movies I haven’t seen yet. In the sea of posters, I see one of a horrifying clown with claws peeking out from behind the paper; I think to myself, “I will never see that movie.”

That was seven years ago, and I just saw the remake.

Now, I'm not a horror veteran. I’m relatively new to the genre. But I didn't find It particularly scary. Bill Skarsgard makes an incredible provocative antagonist once he makes his presence known, and I certainly wouldn't want to come across him in a dark alley. The movie’s creators certainly took the character in a compelling, creative direction, and I would love to see more of it. But I won't have any problems sleeping tonight, if that's the measure of a horror movie.

Perhaps it works better as the story of Them than it does as the story of It. Such a project is an incredible burden to place on the shoulders of child actors and the writers concocting their characters, and the effort toward this end does not go unnoticed. These children feel real; chief among them is Sophia Lillis, whose performance is superb. Bill Skarsgard, as mentioned, makes a formidable foe for the Losers Club. Jaeden Lieberher makes a great deer-eyed Bill when he's conversing with his friends, but he flounders a bit when a lot is asked of him. Finn Wolfhard is likely the weak link in the gang, but his character, while foul-mouthed, is hilarious nonetheless.

Despite not “terrifying” in the traditional sense, It is not for the faint of heart. Pennywise is a distraction from the real villains - apathy, bitterness, and selfishness. In my opinion, the most frightening thing about It was Derry’s adults and their despicable self-centeredness; the film deals with serious subjects like Manchusen syndrome by proxy and pedophelia, and these are way more unsettling than the dancing clown himself.

Is it good, though?

Definitely. I can’t wait for chapter two.

Rating: 7/10
THE GENIUS OF: Tim CurryBy Quinn OxleySeptember 5, 2017I’ve heard it said that you can judge someone based on what they know Tim Curry from, and I’m inclined to agree. The man has one of the most versatile temperaments I’ve ever seen. One face, one booming English cadence, one particular set of skills has embodied all of the following characters:

the prim-and-proper Dr. Thornton Poole of 1991’s period comedy Oscar
the bumbling and lovable living meme Dr. Nigel Thornberry of Nickelodeon’s The Wild Thornberrys
the “sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania,” Dr. Frank-N-Furter of The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Clue (1985)’s enigmatic butler Wadsworth
the anthropomorphic organ Forte from the Beauty and the Beast Christmas special
literally Satan (née Darkness; Legend, 1985)

What a filmography. And that’s not even the half of it.

Curry also portrayed the child-killing clown in 1990’s TV miniseries It. While Curry had the pins set up pretty nicely for him (clowns are pretty freaking scary regardless of who’s under the makeup), he didn’t just knock them down. Curry’s Pennywise became one of modern entertainment’s most notable movie monsters due to his performance - quite the oversized clown shoes for Bill Skarsgard to fill in this weekend’s cinematic adaptation.

Then again, anyone following Tim Curry would have their job cut out for them. Curry’s movements are precise; his passion, very evident. Curry brings a certain gravitas to every project, even down to the garbage-bin animated throwaway Valiant (2006). The same man whose voice is behind the “Smashing!” soundbite was also originally slated to play the clown prince of crime in the 1992 Batman animated series, but was labeled “too scary.” Such versatility has hardly been witnessed in modern film.

Curry himself has expressed an enthusiasm to see Skarsgard’s take on Stephen King’s murderous clown, but nothing will replace Curry’s echoey laugh in the library.
REVIEW: Logan LuckyBy Quinn OxleySeptember 1, 2017I sit down to plan my week. I check movie times for the week of September first, and I see all the same showtimes as last week. I figure Fandango just hasn’t been updated yet. I learn there are no wide releases this week.

I drop to my knees and shake my fist at the sky.

Then I return to the box office archive and purchase a ticket for Logan Lucky. And I’m very pleasantly surprised.

The best way I can describe the plot of Logan Lucky is by asking you to imagine a marriage between Ocean’s Eleven and The Dukes of Hazzard. And it’s got Channing Tatum, Adam Driver, Daniel Craig, and… yeah, some curiously random cameos from Sebastian Stan and Hilary Swank.

Did it take a weird turn at the end? Yes. Is it a masterpiece? No. Did I enjoy most of it, though? Absolutely. And I would see a second installment, too.

There’s something very endearing about Logan Lucky’s down-to-earth, simply style; its heart is in its cast of its real, intriguing characters, and its mastery of subtlety. It trusts its audiences to put some pieces together without laying them out in the proper order ahead of time. This works to the film’s detriment toward the end, but more often than not, it’s executed more than effectively.

Daniel Craig’s accent can get grating, but that’s negligible.

In this week’s absence of a wide release, definitely check out Logan Lucky, and prepare yourself for the incredible movie month that will be September (hopefully).

Rating: 7/10
REVIEW: Leap!By Quinn OxleyAugust 26, 2017I would write down my real, genuine response to Leap!, but it would look exactly like my recent “Dear Children’s Media Makers” post. But, never one to re-tread old paths, I’ll simply sum up my emotional reaction with a quote from The Incredibles: “I’m not happy, Bob. Not happy.”

Felicie (Elle Fanning) and Victor (Nat Wolff, but also for some reason listed as Dane DeHaan on IMDb) may have come from humble beginnings in the Brittany orphanage, but upon their escape, they set about making their dreams come true. As Felicie practices her craft and inspires a down-and-out cleaning lady, Odette (Carl-me Rae-be Jepsen), she learns a valuable lesson about… what’s really important, I guess. Family. Dancing. Something.

Yes, I will start by saying that the estrogen inside me responded to some kind of charm that I found in this movie. Not because the characters were inherently likable or there was any semblance of clever humor or anything of that sort. There was no subtlety, no real nuance or break from the formula. I suppose I was enamored with the adorably romantic idea of an orphan in Paris with the dream of contributing to the arts.

But like I said, there’s no real substance. Elle Fanning does the best with what she’s got; Nat Wolff takes the film as seriously as it should be taken, but still has a good time. And Mel Brooks makes a surprising appearance for all of maybe seven lines. But the entire rest of the cast seems to understand that this film isn’t doing anything for its audience and voice-acts accordingly. And I don’t blame them.

Another interesting observation: the characters’ mouths don’t match up with their words. This would make sense if it were a dubbed film, seeing as it’s a French-Canadian production, but it’s obvious enough that the animators were going for English and failed miserably to get each mouth to function.

Is it good, though?

No. Better than The Emoji Movie, but pretty much on par with the animation that we’ve gotten this year.

Rating: 3/10
THROWBACK REVIEW: Atlantis: The Lost EmpireBy Quinn OxleyAugust 10, 2017Sixteen years ago, Disney released an animated movie that probably went over the heads of most children who saw it. But it was endearing, funny, thrilling, and entertaining nonetheless; gorgeous visuals, thorough world-building, and dynamic scripting made Atlantis: The Lost Empire a joy for most of its adult audience, and solidified its place as one of Disney’s most underrated animated features.

This weekend, The Nut Job 2 was released. I don’t hate myself, so I watched Atlantis instead.

“...there occurred violent earthquakes and floods; and in a single day and night of misfortune… the island of Atlantis in like manner disappeared in the depths of the sea.” So wrote Plato, and this is the tale of the bookish hopeful Milo Thatch’s (Michael J. Fox) attempt to unearth the submerged city and learn the secrets of its powerful renewable energy source.

Atlantis certainly isn’t the first title that comes to mind when you think “Disney.” Sure, there are other, more simple, more laugh-a-minute options for family entertainment. And they’re all better than The Nut Job 2. But Atlantis is an experiment in well-structured creativity - exactly the kind of mind-opening content that is bound to season young minds with inspiration.

Atmosphere is king in this feature. The Atlantian culture is otherworldly, but it doesn’t feel cheesy - it’s authentic, like the planetary societies in Star Wars. The 1914 not only adds character, but it makes the film and the find of the city that much more fantastical.

The script is also much better written than most scripts of animated features. Most of today’s children’s entertainment is flatly written; its characters, one-note and uninteresting. Milo himself has priorities and clear goals, but he speaks awkwardly, knows how to do his job, and cares about his friends because he knows them, not just because he associates with them. Each of the characters even have distinct personalities, skills, and lines of logic. This establishment of characters is probably what makes the film a bit more boring for younger audiences, but it also makes the stakes so much more weighty when the stuff hits the fan. Some characters are still written a bit one-dimensionally, but this is forgivable when most of the characters are interesting.

As well, the visuals are, as mentioned, gorgeous. While the animation can be wonky from time to time, this doesn’t stop most of the feature from stunning with its aesthetic. Overall, the character design is varied, and the landscapes and wide shots are simply lovely.

Even if you’ve seen it and you’re somehow not a fan, it’s better than spending $13 to see The Nut Job 2 this weekend.

Rating: 7.25/10
Dear Children's Media MakersBy Quinn OxleyAugust 9, 2017Dear children’s media makers, animators, writers, directors, producers, and parents of children who are growing up in this, the time with the potential for the most innovative entertainment in the history of the industry:

Stop.

Please. I’m begging you. Between The Emoji Movie, the Nut Job franchise, and the Despicable Me sequels and spinoff, the ratio of quality children’s entertainment to the sludge that builds up in sewer pipes is greatly in favor of the sewer sludge. I consider myself to be an avid acolyte of cinema and a morally upstanding person, so I can’t sit in my theater seat and let tomorrow’s content creators be influenced by these scripts projects which could have easily been produced by using the keyboard as a bidet.

I hear you, creators of Minions, fanning yourselves with your box office millions ($1.16 billion, to be precise) and laughing at my stand for artistic integrity. “Children’s media is some of the easiest money to make,” my straw man scoffs through the fluttering of his thousand-dollar-bills; “Start with a cute, innocent protagonist with a clear goal; keep the plot simple; and add some potty humor.”

Well, Mr. Straw Man, my all-time favorite non-Disney animated feature, The Iron Giant, has something to say on that.

While the film holds an 8/10 on the Internet Movie Database and an 8.5 on Metascore, Brad Bird’s The Iron Giant only needs to be seen to be appreciated for the gorgeous experience that it is. An interesting premise, real-live characters who are deep and interesting, a thought-provoking message, and a poignant conclusion. And all of the those things you listed.

The giant himself is a walking, talking, metal marshmallow. That is, until you cross him the wrong way, but the minions themselves have the potential to go berserk, like we see in Despicable Me 2. And this purity makes him adorable despite his… steely exterior. (Sorry.) His goal is very clear: elude the government’s capture, and find out why he was made. And in the process of achieving those goals, Bird even has the time to (classily!) slip in some potty humor. Your simple formula can work. It just needs a bit more depth - a bit more thought, and you can make something truly great.

“That’s all well and good,” laughs the Straw Man, “but The Iron Giant didn’t even make back its budget when it was released.”

Yeah… well… it’s a great movie. But I get it. Great movies don’t pay the bills if they don’t fill the seats. But Inside Out and The Incredibles have even better ratings on review aggregating sites, and they both well more than quadrupled their budgets. But you don’t want me to get into Disney/Pixar territory, do you, Minions makers?

It can’t be all about money, either. Let’s go back to Minions for a moment. Think about it this way: the next generation of entertainers is growing up with such gems to pay homage to as Minions - an obnoxious, unfunny, confusing tribute to the least charming players in the Despicable Me universe. This is what they’re going to fondly remember and want to honor with their work.

In a word: stop. Think. And then go. So, really, five words, I guess. Put the pieces in place that children like, then think about it a little more to give some weight to your creation. Invest in the future of your craft. Make the kind of media that you want your children to grow up and create. Okay, fine; fifty-three words. Just give them something of value to model.

Sincerely,
A concerned media consumer and aspiring content creator
REVIEW: DetroitBy Quinn OxleyAugust 6, 2017I’ll be honest, guys. I’m not sure how to go about this one.

In late July 1967, racially motivated riots raged through Detroit; African-Americans were fed up with their living conditions and the seemingly omnipresent racial bias against them, and caucasians could do little to improve the situation. Amongst the chaos, seven black men and two white women were terrorized in the Algiers Motel. This is a fictionalized account of their story.

Detroit is an exhausting movie. It might be insensitive to say that in light of the subject matter, but it really is. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. It goes on forever and is frustrating in every sense of the word. You can’t have peace while you’re watching it.

In showing how mind-numbingly frustrating it was to be an African-American before civil rights were widespread, Detroit definitely succeeded. Every performance contributed to that end, and the injustice of the events of the film is enough to carry it to the end. I felt a lot, and if you’re looking to ruminate on some pretty harrowing, despicable things, then by all means, take the time to ingest this one.

I think the most frustrating part of the film was getting beyond the fact that I was supposed to feel badly. Feel badly about my race and about the horrible things that happened to these people. Obviously what happened to these people is horrific. No one deserves to be treated this way. This kind of racism does not exist in the spades that it used to, and focusing on such negativity - especially with it being such an inflammatory topic in our nation right now - is only bound to cause more division. I believe Morgan Freeman said it best when he was asked, “How do we end racism?” “Stop talking about it.”

Is it good, though?

It’s a grueling experience, but if you’re up for it, it certainly takes you on a journey.

Rating: 6.5/10
REVIEW: KidnapBy Quinn OxleyAugust 5, 2017Karla (Halle Berry) is your average single mother trying to scrape together a living for her six-year-old son, Frankie - that is, until she loses sight of him at the park one day and must use her ingenuity, intelligence, and sheer hellbent will to retrieve him from his abductors.

Kidnap is bonkers. I mean, it’s boil-the-rabbit crazy. It starts off like your pretty standard fare, and then goes from zero to complete insanity in 2.3 seconds. Most of the movie is a very stressful experience that requires pretty major suspension of disbelief to be enjoyed.

The editing was very strange at times. There would be ten shots in a row lasting less than half a second, and then one shot lasting an eternity (thirty seconds) - very distracting, not at all effective. These random segments feel like they’re trying to be inventive, but since the rest of the movie is shot so plainly, they just feel out of place.

The story is also misleading; it feels as though it’s got one undergirding plot, but when you reach the end, you feel shorted. Perhaps relieved, but shorted.

However, I must give credit where credit is due: this film made me feel. A lot. Call it my motherly instincts; call it my justice-heavy personality imbalance. Whatever it was, I wasn’t bored. It felt like I was being pulled into a fever dream, but the forceful separation of a child from a parent is such a simple dramatic need that it’s effective almost regardless of the technique.

Is it good, though?

It’s thrilling, definitely. Frustrating and maddening and completely bonkers, but thrilling nonetheless.

Rating: 5.5/10
REVIEW: The Dark TowerBy Quinn OxleyAugust 4, 2017Jake Chambers, eleven, New Yorker, and victim of vivid, strange hallucinations of otherworldly insanity. His mother, stepfather, friends, and counselor believe him to be disturbed, but Jake knows better, knows of the Gunslinger (Idris Elba) and the Man in Black (Matthew McConaughey) and the dark, horrifying things that happen in their world, and the world beyond. Between earthquakes and cryptic drawn clues, Jake walks with Roland on a quest of vengeance and justice.

I don’t know. I guess you could say I wasn’t impressed. More than anything, the acting stands out as pretty half-hearted at the best of times and, at the worst, downright campy. There was very little character development and, in fact, a surprising lack of dialogue. The plot feels like little more than a random collection of things that just just seem to happen. There’s not much of an explanation of how this world works, nor is there much of an intimate backstory for us to become invested in. Not many of these characters are charismatic, and none of them feel real.

I was not charmed by this movie. I watched some stakes-less, unweighty things happen for about an hour and a half.

If that’s your thing, then God bless.

I will say one thing: Idris Elba is awesome. Iconic, not so much. But awesome, definitely. He and Matthew McConaughey don’t have much neme-stry (nemesis chemistry… I’m sorry), but as individuals, they have their appeal in their respective roles. McConaughey is unflinching, and Elba’s tight-lipped gunslinger has some endearing moments once he lands on Keystone Earth. As much as 2011’s Thor works better as a fish-out-of-water tale, Elba makes his mark on both.

I want to know more about this world. I want to meet these characters. I want to be invested! There was so much potential that I’m pretty disappointed that this movie didn’t blow my mind. Perhaps we’ll get a more personal sequel. I’d see it.

Rating: 5/10
Book-to-Movie AdaptationsBy Quinn OxleyAugust 2, 2017There’s something magical about the moving picture, especially when it’s on the silver screen itself. The salty, buttery waft of popcorn hanging thick in the air, the tint of the marquee, the hush (hopefully) just before the trailers begin. My trip to the movies is the highlight of my week. So it’s only natural that, as a species, we would want to translate our favorite written stories to this divine format, especially considering the human inclination to make as much money for as little work as possible.

What’s funny is that no one ever seems to think that the movie matches the vision of the book. Of course, this is because the imagination is not limited by budget, actor availability, or the current abilities of technology.

So why do they keep trying?

Well, the quality of any piece of art is completely determined by its function. Take a child’s artwork, for example: his purpose is to express himself, and not necessarily to meet some kind of objective artistic standard. Captain America: Civil War serves to further the stories of several characters in whom we’ve already become invested and entertain with interesting action sequences and blunt, witty humor. For what it is, it’s incredible, but no one would ever compare it to Shawshank or The Godfather - because it’s made to do something totally different.

That’s how I like to view book-to-movie adaptations. While I’m not an avid reader, I have twice read the books in preparation for the movie: The Hunger Games franchise, and The Disaster Artist. I can’t yet give an opinion for James Franco’s upcoming interpretation of Tommy Wiseau’s interpretation of reality. However, I can say with confidence that I enjoyed each installment of The Hunger Games because I understood that it was, at its core, a completely different art form. You can say that the books are a better experience, but you can’t say that they’re “better.” The standards for film are completely different than the standards for literature.

Just food for thought.

Interestingly enough, this weekend’s major release, The Dark Tower, isn’t actually an adaptation, but a film sequel to a book, which is… strange, to say the least.
REVIEW: The Emoji MovieBy Quinn OxleyJuly 29, 2017Every movie I’ve ever seen just got a little bit better.

I’m… almost without words. This movie doesn’t feel worth summarizing except to illustrate how ludicrous it was that it they made it.

Emojis are alive inside your phone, and they have to make their assigned expression constantly or risk compromising their user’s trust in the phone, which would lead to erasure. I didn’t name any characters because I didn’t care about any characters. Or anything that was going on. By the end, I was trying to recall some reasons to live.

It feels almost insulting to your intelligence to explain what’s wrong with this movie, so I’ll sum it up in one word: ev-er-y-thing.

There are five stages to watching The Emoji Movie.

Stage 1: denial.
You’ve somehow found yourself in a situation where you’re watching The Emoji Movie. Everything inside of you is rejecting this harrowing reality and, having convinced yourself that you’re actually about to see Baby Driver.

Stage 2: anger.
The movie has started and the truth becomes inescapable. Rage overtakes you and you begin to mumble profanities under your breath.

Stage 3: bargaining.
You realize that you paid money to see this disaster of monstrous proportions. You storm out to the ticket booth and demand your money back.

Stage 4: depression.
After unsuccessfully bartering with the theater employees, you slink back to your seat and glumly resume to movie. Your money is gone and soon, your hour and a half will be gone as well. You wait for the blackness to consume you.

Stage 5: repeat stages 2 and 4 until the movie is over or the projector bursts into flames.

Rating: 0/10

P.S. It really pisses me off that they dragged Steven Wright into this. He's good guy with a lot of talent. He doesn't deserve this. If you pull a body out of this car wreck, let it be Steven Wright's.
REVIEW: Atomic BlondeBy Quinn OxleyJuly 28, 2017Yet another summer released that leached credibility from retro music. I have to say, I’m not hating this trend.

Lorraine Broughton (Charlize Theron) has come to kick butt and smoke cigarettes. And she’s all out of cigarettes. (JK, she smokes pretty much constantly.) Rest assured there will be a lot of butt-kicking, and that’s pretty much all you need to know about the story to enjoy the movie.

Atomic Blonde was the first movie in a long time that I’ve not… responded to very passionately. I was pretty lukewarm about the whole affair. I had to sit and think about how the movie made me feel in order to even form an opinion.

The story wanders a bit much to really be considered a spy thriller. Even the movie admits that it wanders a little too much when, halfway through, Toby Jones’ higher-up character notes something along the lines of, “You had no leads and lots of distractions.” It’s a lot less about the story and a lot more about Charlize Theron’s femme fatale, which would be fine if it didn’t kind of come off as a long perfume commercial (AKA, there’s a lot of intent staring into the distance, smoking cigarettes, and sexy outfits).

However, Atomic Blonde has more than the usual amount of awesome in order to make up for the meandering story. One Man-of-Steel-length fight scene finds a way to keep things interesting and shatters the mould for such action sequences. As I said before, the use of a retro soundtrack once again appears, and I don’t mind it. The frame story technique also helps inject some intrigue where the story leaves it hanging.

After a story that was a bit here and there and seemed it could only really end one way, I did really appreciate the last fifteen minutes.

Rating: 6.5/10
TOP TEN: Worst Animated Movies of the Last DecadeBy Quinn OxleyJuly 26, 2017I believe that every movie stands a chance. Even though trailers for Valerian made me skeptical, I gave it a fair chance, and it dropped the ball - but it dropped the ball on its own merit. I didn’t judge it before I went in. I don’t ever want it to be said that I’ve jumped the gun and decided ahead of time that a movie is going to be good or bad.

That being said, I’d like to present two completely unrelated statements: The Emoji Movie comes out this weekend. Here is a list of the top ten worst mainstream animated movies of the last ten years.

The barrell is almost bottomless when it comes to animated movies. You see, animated movies are “kids’ movies,” and kids don’t care about the quality of animation or the coherence of story. And so we get movies like Foodfight! and Norm of the North. But I’m talking about widely released animated features that capture the attention of the nation, if only for a few moments, only to be shunned by their lack of substance.

10. Strange Magic. Perhaps one of the most insulting things an animated film can do is reach out to other media - quality media - and sulley it by trying to leech off some of whatever made the thing good. There’s a right way to create a fantasy world from scratch and populate it with retro hit music (see also: Labyrinth) and there’s a wrong way to do it. You can guess which way Strange Magic chose to go.

9. Cars 2. Not many were much impressed by Pixar’s 2006 attempt at a sentient cars movie. It has its audience, but when compared to Pixar’s larger body of work, it tends to fall short. However, it’s miles ahead (excuse the pun) of the smoldering trash fire that came after it. We can only take so much of Larry the Cable Guy. Way to take the heart out of an already limping franchise.

8. Kung Fu Panda 3. I know this one is actually pretty well-received, but hear me out: it’s basically the Tigger Movie, but you care less about the characters. Also, the story is pretty inane. If you remove death from the equation as an unknown, you’d better have an epic story to back that up.

7. The Lorax. Probably one of the most forthright examples of complete corporate hypocrisy - which would be upsetting in and of itself even if the movie had been good. Universal used this business-wary and environmentally conscious tale to sell a ton of products, which completely contradicted the message of the original work. Plus, it took a classic and kind of murdered it.

6. Mars Needs Moms. Boring and forgettable, like this entry on the list.

5. Minions. Do I need to explain why this movie has its place on the list? Minions happened when a mildly obnoxious idea from the original Despicable Me spiralled out of control into an unstoppable meme. Let me say that again: Minions is the result of the unchecked growth of unhealthy cells. Oh, no, wait, that’s cancer. Hm. To-may-to, to-mah-to.

4. All direct-to-DVD Disney sequels. Again, one of the most offensive things an awful animated movie can do is crap on the legacy of another, better work. And direct-to-DVD Disney sequels are in the business of doing just that. Don’t get me wrong - I love them. They’re a staple of my childhood. But none of them can capture the magic of the original, and sometimes they reach back and retroactively harm the quality of the original by telling us what happened post-“Happy ever after.”

3. THE

2. NUT

1. JOB. Yes, The Nut Job is the last three entries on this list. It is not only the worst animated feature in the last ten years, but I believe it stands in defiance of all that is good and holy as the worst animated feature of all time. Any animated feature whose Wikipedia page reads, “During the credits, the animals and humans dance with an animated Psy as he performs Gangnam Style,” is a heinous, deeply-grooved scar on the face of the same art that produced Toy Story and How to Train Your Dragon. Will Arnett has since made an animated comeback as the caped crusader in Lego form, but he’s still earning back my trust from this explosive bowel movement of a movie.

Perhaps this list served not to segue into a deplorable Emoji Movie, but rather to provide some perspective. Even if The Emoji Movie is awful, it will never be The Nut Job.
REVIEW: DunkirkBy Quinn OxleyJuly 22, 2017IMDb, Metascore, Rotten Tomatoes, and critics everywhere are saying that this is Nolan’s “best work.”

Christopher Nolan is one of my all-time favorite directors. Inception and The Prestige are mainstays of my all-time top-ten due in large part to his impeccable writing and directing. There are few who do not acknowledge his Batman films as the best in the hero’s silver screen history. Nolan has more than made his mark on modern film; saying something is his best work isn’t like saying something is M. Night Shyamalan’s best work or that something is the best X-Men movie. There’s not only actual competition, but stiff competition. And a lot of it.

I can’t rightly say this is Nolan’s “best work.”

I can say a lot of wonderful things about it, but a man who made six of the most memorable films of all time (Inception, The Prestige, Memento, and the Dark Knight trilogy) has too weighty of a legacy to have this be considered his best.

But that’s not so say it’s not amazing.

Just so I don’t sound like a hypocrite, let me say that Dunkirk took a very similar narrative approach to Valerian. The key difference is that Dunkirk did it intentionally; there is very little character development, especially in the lead character, because the film is not about the character’s story. The result still feels lacking, but in this case, it’s much, much more excusable.

Dunkirk is perfectly atmospheric. In particular, the sound design is simply monstrous, and the score really rushes you and messes with your mind. The auditory elements excel at piercing the heart with genuine fear. They don’t just create tension; they instill terror. I’ve covered three or so horror movies this year, and Nolan’s latest work is by far more disturbing than all of them. Although it fell short in the dialogue department, the sounds of the world make real the nihilism of war.

The film is also stunningly, expertly shot; Dunkirk’s shot composition and camerawork is something to fall in love with.

Truly, this is way more of a sensory experience than a character piece or a war narrative. We all know the general premise, even if the characters don’t speak much and they’re hard to understand: these men are just trying to get home.

Nolan’s best work? Agh, I can’t sign my name to that statement. But another incredible film in Nolan’s remarkable filmography? Absolutely.

Rating: 7.5/10
REVIEW: Valerian and the City of a Thousand PlanetsBy Quinn OxleyJuly 21, 2017I’m pretty sure the character profile videos on Rihanna’s part in this movie are longer than the screentime she has in this movie. It’s kind of hilarious, considering all the billing she got.

When Valerian(Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (Cara Delevingne) are something something, they have to something something… in some amount of time, before something ominous takes place.

We all knew the story was going to take a back seat to visuals in this summer popcorn flick. I guess I can’t rightly say I’m disappointed; this movie fell right into the Goldilocks range. My expectations were met. Not exceeded. Not underwhelmed.

The way I see it, Valerian had two options.

A) Allow us to get to know the gorgeous multitude of worlds it powers through.

It chose not to go this route. We get an aperitif of the incredibly diverse and visually mesmerizing universe these characters inhabit, but that’s all - some special effects shots. Now, don’t get me wrong, that’s by far this movie’s strong suit. The whole time you’re wondering what colors, sparkles, textures, or creatures could possibly be around the corner. But the visuals are as substantive as it gets. There are wildly creative ideas introduced and flirted with, but never developed into anything notably engaging. It pulls you in just enough to get you thinking about how much awesome potential it has, and then leaves you hanging.

B) Allow us to get to know the characters traversing this great unknown.

Spoiler alert: it chose not to go this route, either. And it really, really doesn’t. See, if you want to stun your audience with visions of a mysterious reality and let it keep its mystique, leaving out an intimate look at its inner workings is a totally acceptable approach. But you have to give the audience something to hold onto. Make the characters lovable. Likeable. Make them... knowable in anyway. Make the world that much more alien and enhance the camaraderie between your two leads. It’s them against whatever world the movie has dropped us in.

Instead, Valerian served up two of the most character-less characters in film history. No joke. I’m one of the sappiest people I know, and I couldn’t care less about what happened to Valerian or Laureline. And that would be fine - okay… it would be excusable - if the film spent more time on the world they were in and less time on their story. But at least an hour of the film’s runtime is devoted to one partner searching for and seeking to rescue the other with no bearing on the overall story arc. This movie is two hours and seventeen minutes long. Such little character development just feels… irresponsible.

If all you want is an acid trip, Valerian is a healthy alternative. But an actual acid trip would probably have more of an interesting story.

Rating: 4.5/10

P.S. SPOILER ALERT: Another note on Rihanna’s part in this movie. She’s apparently playing an illegal immigrant who performs to subsist and is held captive by her pimp. And yet, before she dies, she bequeaths to Valerian her entire kingdom. First of all, this is the first time she’s referred to as royalty. Second, why, why, why, WHY would you illegally immigrate to a squalid hellhole when you are royalty somewhere? The writing in this movie was abysmal.
TOP TEN: Movies That Take Place in SpaceBy Quinn OxleyJuly 19, 2017Space is, of course, the final frontier, and in it, no one can hear you scream. As big as this world seems when you’re standing in the middle of Time Square on New Year’s Eve, there is so much more out there than just this 4,000-mile-wide rock we’re riding on. Let me clarify: there’s so much more out there that we don’t know about. And this great unknown, especially against such a beautiful, hostile backdrop, makes space the perfect setting for fiction. This weekend we see Luc Besson’s next venture, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, so I thought it the perfect time to revisit my top ten personal space-favorites. (Note: This list only covers movies that I’ve seen, obviously, and is totally subject to my personal preferences.)

10. The Martian (2015). One of my favorites of that year, The Martian took the survival genre to the next genre by forcing the character into the least escapable situation possible. This Matt Damon venture is not only expertly written, appropriately paced, and scientifically accurate; it’s an in-depth exploration of the weight of sheer human will. It just goes to show that sometimes we need to be thrust onto the dusty, vacant deserts of Mars with fast-depleting oxygen and a hole in our stomach in order to find out what we’re really made of.

9. The Fifth Element (1997). What a coincidence - a visually intriguing cult classic directed by Valerian’s own Luc Besson. What it lacks in “livability,” it makes up for in imagination, ambiance, and charm. And let’s not forget that 1997’s Best Actor Who Played a Villain With a Ridiculously Epic Name went to Gary Oldman for his portrayal of Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg.

8. Alien (1979). In space, no one can hear you be an awesome female character that will eventually be written into a cheap and confusing piece of fan-service meat. But until that day, Alien will serve as the beginning of one of the most horrifying manifestations of the unknown as of yet known to man - the xenomorph. I wouldn’t even want to exist in a universe of natural selection that produced this two-tongued nightmare, but I would definitely want to watch Ripley take one down.

7. Star Wars (1977). Remember: this is my list of personal favorites, and Star Wars just doesn’t fall into that category. But its quality, influence, and iconic status cannot be denied. Star Trek and Doctor Who contributed to the early demand for the otherworldly in media, but Star Wars was the first prominent production to make it cool. You may notice some strong similarities between Luc Besson’s newest work and this monster of a franchise, but don’t pull out your lightsabers in defense of George Lucas just yet. Star Wars has actually stolen a fair amount from Valerian’s source material, Valerian et Laureline, including the carbonite, the slave Leia outfit, Jabba himself, and Yoda’s hut.

6. Galaxy Quest (1999). Imagine if they had made a movie about the production of Star Trek, and in it, the cast of Star Trek discovered that the space societies feature on the show were all real. You don’t have to imagine; that’s Galaxy Quest. And it’s hilarious.

5. Star Trek Into Darkness (2013). Speaking of Star Trek, the second entry in J.J. Abrams’ Kelvin timeline is one of my all-time favorite sequels - and I promise, that only has minimally to do with the fact that it has Chris Pine. Into Darkness is engaging, fun, and full of spacey thingies. And also Benedict Cumberbatch. (What? He’s not Chris Pine.)

4. Treasure Planet (2002). I know, I know; a list about the best space movies that includes Treasure Planet and not WALL-E - sacrilege! (Read with sarcasm.) But hear me out. Treasure Planet isn’t the most celebrated Disney piece, but it’s definitely one of the most deserving. Gorgeous animation, a stellar cast, and a new angle on a familiar story make it re-watchable to the nth degree. Plus, it’s got that elusive “livability;” it creates a sci-fi world that’s alien enough to be interesting, but where we could still see ourselves living.

3. Star Trek (2009). J.J. Abrams is a genius of epic proportions. As beloved as the original series was, Abrams reinvigorated the franchise and set apart his own creative continuity with the start of the Kelvin timeline. Yes, he was obviously inspired by the source material, but Star Trek’s outer space is another real, tangible, livable one, and a charismatic, action-packed one as well.

2. Aliens (1986). Does this really count as a space movie if it takes place mostly on an alien planet? Ah, never mind. I don’t care. Aliens deserves its place on pretty much every top ten list. It’s closer to home, grounding Ripley and her new combat team on LV-426, but sending them through a cruel and unforgiving universe of ordeals. It’s got all the horror and terrifying extraterrestrial instigators of Alien, but with more Terminator.

1. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014). I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: there’s no other film that belongs at the top. Space is a little more nuanced in this one, serving as an obstacle, a merciless vacuum, and an intergalactic highway for the large-scale adventurer. Also featuring a hint of space-legend and plenty of characters of various creative alien species, Guardians was even great enough to singlehandedly launch its lead past the thermosphere into superstardom.
The Disaster Artist Trailer ReactionBy Quinn OxleyJuly 18, 2017You know that phenomenon of being unable to look away as you pass a flaming wreck on the highway? You feel for whomever was involved and you pray everyone is okay, and yet you lock eyes with the mess out of sheer morbid fascination. This is the best way to describe anyone’s relationship with 2003’s The Room.

In 1999, a strange man with midnight-black curls, an ambiguously Eastern European heritage, and a dream, saw The Talented Mr. Ripley and promptly started work on a screenplay that he hoped would resonate so intimately with the audience that they would be unable to sleep for weeks. What resulted from this crazed marathon writing session was The Room. In case you’ve never heard of this cult classic, it’s one of the best worst movies of all time, and it’s not without its shortage of enrapturing production history. It’s one of those movies where “directed by/produced by/written by/starring” are all satisfied with one name, and that name is Tommy Wiseau.

I’ve been an avid acolyte of the Wiseauian Church for nearly three years now, and let me tell you: this is one of the most enveloping stories I’ve ever followed. The Room in and of itself is so… I mean, so, so miraculously awful that it demands you look closer at the mind behind it. But there’s no delving into the psyche of this Chinese finger trap of a man without emerging a raving lunatic. That’s where The Disaster Artist comes in.

I’ve been anxiously awaiting any news on this film’s development ever since I learned of its existence. I’ve read the book; I’ve followed it from simply the idea to its cast list to its first behind-the-scenes photo, and the day has finally arrived that we get to see the first trailer.

From what little we’ve seen so far, I can see that The Disaster Artist is made in good fun as a celebration of the lunacy that was the production of The Room and the enigmatic incomprehensible superhero that is Wiseau. The cast has perfectly captured the frustration that the crew experienced while working with him, responding in kind to James Franco’s distant, scatterbrained eccentricity.

I cannot wait for this movie.

And if you’ve been feeling weak or lightheaded, here’s your daily dose of irony: a lot of fans are touting James Franco as an Oscar contender for his role as one of the worst actors of all time, and this movie about one of the worst movies of all time received a standing ovation at its SXSW premiere.
REVIEW: The Big SickBy Quinn OxleyJuly 17, 2017I love movies. That’s why I write for the ScreenFellas; that’s why 90% of my discretionary income goes to my local theaters; that’s why I’m going to school for cinematic arts. But there are two genres that I dread sitting through: supernatural horror, and rom-com. (Imagine how much I hated Warm Bodies.) Rom-coms have just always felt unbearably saccharine and formulaic, and I’ve only seen one or two (Hitch, and maybe Shallow Hal) that didn’t make me pucker.

So, I don’t consider The Big Sick a rom-com.

Referring to this film by that genre feels… disrespectful. Degrading. Yes, there was romance. To use a general term, it was adorable. And you’d better bet there was comedy. There were real laugh-out-loud moments that made me hide my tearing eyes with my hands. But this was something truly special.

When a random heckle at a comedy becomes a one night stand, which becomes an unconventional and interesting romance, Kumail (Kumail Nanjiani) and Emily (Zoe Kazan) attempt to cooperate their two vastly different cultures and navigate new-relationship-hood. Until Emily learns of Kumail’s mother’s constant efforts to set him up with various Pakistani women, whereupon she promptly exits his life, and falls prey to a nasty lung infection. Kumail reaches out to Emily’s parents (Holly Hunter and Ray Romano), who live life with him during the crisis.

The Big Sick is anything but saccharine. There’s an almost inexplicable reality to its story; I felt as though I was just watching something real happen, but it had the structure and artistry of a well-made movie with little tolerance for self-indulgence. Life happens to people and they rarely spout poetry in times of emotional turmoil. Love exists, but it doesn’t look like roses and white horses; it’s sitting in a hospital waiting room even though nothing can be done; it’s still taking care of the other person when every outside force dictates that you shouldn’t even speak with them.

This film also doesn’t follow any blueprints. There was only one scene in the entire film that felt paint-by-number in the least, but at that point I was willing to humor them enough to let it slide. The entire rest of the runtime - which was two hours, and I never once glanced at my watch - I was simply there, present with these people I’d come to know. I wasn’t wondering what would happen next; I wasn’t making any predictions. I was just there.

If I had to point out any shortcomings, I would have to note the slight imbalance in the film’s emphasis. We do see a decent portion of Kumail’s and Emily’s relationship, so we do feel for Kumail when she’s ill, but the ratio of time with her to time without her is a bit off, so we spend more time without her than we do with her. There are reminders of her personality here and there, but this is where I wish the film had been a bit more sentimental. However, this flaw is so insignificant in comparison to the beauty of The Big Sick that I can hardly call it a flaw. It was more of an observation.

Easily the best “rom-com” I’ve ever seen. This is a love letter to everything special.

Rating: 8.75/10
REVIEW: War for the Planet of the ApesBy Quinn OxleyJuly 17, 2017I cared a lot more about this movie than I thought I would. It’s such a strange premise - apes become hyper-intelligent, band together, rise up against humans, and become known as another sentient species with whom we share the planet. And yet, this simple premise has produced five of the most iconic films of all time - one classic with a striking twist reveal, one incredible prequel trilogy, and one god-awful attempt at a reboot.

But that’s not what we’re here to talk about today. War for the Planet of the Apes was a surprisingly moving, interestingly shot, well-performed finale to a trilogy that has actively engaged audiences since 2011.

After War, Andy Serkis must get the recognition he deserves. He could give human nuance to a copper pot. He can make a stone bleed, whether the stone is watching his performance or he’s portraying an actual stone.

This film is also beautifully, knowingly, purposefully, clearly shot; sweeping overhead shots, smooth and seamless, camera motion, creative angles, and intentional focus make War a visually stunning experience.

There were a few moments that took me out of the experience of it - one or two trite or formulaic moments or moments of comedic relief (which were, admittedly, funny, but not in harmony with the film’s gravitas) that I could have done without. It was also very long, long enough that I noticed and wondered how much longer I’d be watching the movie, which is never a great sign, but I’m nitpicking at this point.

It is overall an incredibly heartfelt film that really affects the viewer. Perhaps the thing that gave War its more profound emotional depth - apart from its remarkably empathetic performances and its skillful camerawork - is the story’s allegorical implications which are particularly timely. Hurt people hurt people, and form prejudices against the people that hurt them. This is just as true today as it has ever been. This film shows that there is never something as simple as “All ____ are bad.” There are good humans and bad humans; there are good apes and bad apes. There is good, and there is bad, and no one group is all of one or the other, and ultimately, we need to align ourselves with the good and resist the bad to the best of our ability. The “us vs. them” is not based on any kind of physical distinction; it’s an ideological one.

Is it good, though?

It’s not a great popcorn flick. It’s a dark, poignant poem of a film.

Rating: 8/10

P.S. Let’s take a moment to acknowledge that the score for this lovely and emotionally powerful film includes tracks with puns in their titles, like “More Red Than Alive” and “Planet of the Escapes.”
REVIEW: Wish UponBy Quinn OxleyJuly 15, 2017Spoilers ahead, but only if you haven’t seen the trailer. I’m not giving any more away than they did.

“People are dead, Clare. You can't just wish that away.” But why not, Ryan? The rules seem pretty simple: make a wish, someone dies. But is there any reason you couldn’t use one wish to bring everyone back? Could you use one wish to say, “I wish you could satisfy this and my other wishes without staking claim to a blood price of any kind?” The movie never brings up a rule against this, so I have to assume that everyone who’s ever been caught up in this thing’s drama is just a complete idiot.

Clare Shannon (Joey King) and her dumpster-diving father, Jonathan (Ryan Phillippe), come across a strange trinket laden with Chinese characters and a strange air about it. Discerning that it grants wishes to anyone holding it, Clare begins to trade lives for longings as she wishes for more and more, and watches those around her die in freak accidents.

Watching this movie is a fascinating, wildly introspective and thought-provoking experience. You’ll ask yourself questions like, “Why is her dad a dumpster-diver? That’s so random. And why is she taking Chinese? It’s usually Spanish and French that are offered as foreign languages in public high school. And why are those characters even there? They haven’t represented any kind of significance to the story, and they’re already dead.” And eventually, Wish Upon carefully, painstakingly leads you to the answer. “Ahh, so the plot can happen.” But sometimes you don’t even have to ask the question. Someone will say something, and you’ll think to yourself, “Yeah, the only reason she’s addicted to that game is because she needs a reason to go up into the elevator later in the movie. I’ve seen the trailer.”

As I was exiting the theater, I threw my arms up in the air and shouted, “Hot nonsense!” Because this movie was hot nonsense. The writing is ridiculous. The plot is uninspired and unoriginal. Joey King pulls off a marketable performance, but few others pull their weight for their characters - but who can blame them, really? I can’t imagine that I would have put much effort in either; this movie is, after all, hot nonsense.

If I had only one wish left and the price of that wish was a yaoguai stealing my soul, I would wish that I hadn’t seen this movie. Totally worth it.

Rating: 2.5/10
THE GENIUS OF: Andy SerkisBy Quinn OxleyJuly 11, 2017After a long day of exhausting work, a hot shower, and a mug of warm milk, I lie on my Tempurpedic Cloud Supreme Breeze and pull my heated blanket above my shoulders. Snug and beyond comfortable, I close my eyes and await the sweet embrace of sleep to overtake me.

Except I can’t sleep, because Andy Serkis hasn’t even been nominated for an Oscar yet.

Andy Serkis is a prominent West-Londonian demigod who can literally transform into any living thing, be they human, simian, or Stoor Hobbit. Nationality does not bind him. Species does not bind him. Cumbersome mo-cap equipment does not bind him.

Most known for his role as Gollum/Smeagol in the Lord of the Rings films, Andy Serkis has also graced the screen in Peter Jackson’s King Kong as the legendary beast himself (and as the cook, Lumpy, NBD), Supreme Leader Snoke of the newest Star Wars trilogy and, more recently, totalitarian simian Caesar in the (Word) of the Planet of the Apes franchise. You’ll notice that none of these roles feature Serkis as a human, but all of them are incredibly demanding and nuanced performances.

And yet, for all his efforts, Serkis has never even been nominated for an Academy Award. This is likely due to the effects-heavy nature of these characters; obviously, Serkis is not playing a human, and must be transformed via hours and hours of CGI work, which, some argue, makes his performance incomparable to those of actors who are not aided by such effects.

But that’s the thing - Serkis acts through the effects. He gives human complexity to non-human characters almost more naturally than he does to humans, and this is a feat easily on par with most Oscar-nominated performances. His interpretation of Tolkien’s Gollum is iconic, and Serkis plainly shows through the computer wizardry.

Let’s talk about people who have won Oscars. Eddie Redmayne, even after the disaster that was Jupiter Ascending. Nicolas Cage, who went on to supremely fail in The Wicker Man. Halle Berry, despite the infamous “struck by lightening” line from X-Men. Suicide Squad won best effects, in spite of its awfulness, and the fact that it was up against Doctor Strange in that same category. Even The Phantom Menace was at least nominated.

Andy Serkis’ lack of an Oscar - or at least a nomination - is criminal, especially when considering past Academy Award winners. Perhaps this weekend’s War for the Planet of the Apes will change that.
REVIEW: Spider-Man: HomecomingBy Quinn OxleyJuly 7, 2017Of course I’m going to proudly herald the arrival of a new MCU film. They may not be majorly substantive, but they’re fun, they’re hilarious, they’re engaging, and for what they are, they’re massively successful, and I’m proud to be a fan.

But this one - this watershed film - was and is particularly interesting. This generation has seen three Spider-Men in its time. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to relate to the character and the surrounding mythos; however, the character is finally back in the hands of its creators, which presents incredible promise - but more for the MCU than the Spider-Man character, if you’re looking for an introspective piece like the Raimi movies.

Regardless of what you go in expecting, Homecoming is par for the MCU (Marvel Course… Umbrella).

I’d love to get my negatives out of the way first, because, honestly, my negatives didn’t ruin the movie for me. I still had a blast.

Some of the acting was iffy. Liz (Laura Harrier), the new love-interest, felt as though she were just reciting lines with little character or inflection, and Ned (Jacob Batalon) was pretty stiff for much of his screentime. I’ve also seen better performances from Jon Favreau, who reprises his role as Happy Hogan. I also had a hard time taking Michael Keaton seriously for the majority of the film, but it’s possible that’s because I kept seeing him as his cameo on 30 Rock. (Although, I did love every design aspect of the Falcon suit and he was very formidable when he utilized it.)

I’ve also never been a fan of too much help for the hero. Some heroes - like Iron Man - invent assistance for themselves in the form of technological servants, drones, tracking devices, and other helpful gadgets. These are a main facet of their heroic status and their character arc, and since they’ve usually invented these gadgets for themselves, they are an expression of the hero’s ingenuity. Spider-Man is not one of those heroes. Giving him so much help takes away from his character and feels like both copping out and pandering to a younger demographic. To avoid spoilers, that’s all I’ll say on the subject.

However, there are three things that make this movie absolutely wonderful.

1) The entire third act. Most of the movie feels okay, you know, not mind-blowing in any sense of the word. Alright. Fine. But I can pinpoint the moment when it the ceiling fell down and crushed everyone in the movie theater and the movie suddenly became “real,” if you catch my drift. I won’t get into spoilers, but let me just say that after that point, Homecoming became incredible. Then again, my friends and I were still reeling from the turning point, so it was hard to focus.

2) Tom Holland’s performance. That boy (man, excuse me, but he’s playing a fifteen-year-old) can act, and he nails the awkward, ambitious Peter Parker. His inflection, facial expressions, and overall demeanor are not only spot-on for the character, but they’re age-appropriate (or, at least, more so than Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield).

3) It’s absolutely hilarious. Genuinely, cleverly, authentically hilarious. Apart from the mechanized suit, we get a fairly practical look at Peter Parker’s double life, which makes for a lot of laughs. Without spoiling too much… there are also a few hysterical cameos that tie into the post-credits scene.

Is it good, though?

It is. It has its flaws, but so does every movie. It may serve a totally different purpose than every Spider-Man movie before it, but it’s hilarious, it’s entertaining, and it’s worth the watch.

Rating: 7.75/10
RANKING: The Spider-MenBy Quinn OxleyJuly 4, 2017I hate that Spider-Man: Homecoming Dell commercial that acts like Peter Parker’s computer profile pic would be him in his Spider-Man suit. What do you think he is, Dell? Some kind of amateur?

That being said, Spider-Man: Homecoming is out this Friday, and I am adoring this new trend of three Marvel movies a year. Personally, I’m a bit nostalgic for Sam Raimi’s campy gems, but last year Tom Holland certainly proved to audiences everywhere that Spider-Man is most satisfying in the hands of its proper owners. So, without further ado, I present to the ScreenFellas readers my ranking of Spider-Man’s most recent incarnations.

DISCLAIMER: This is my opinion. I normally try to be pretty objective when it comes to what’s good and what’s not, but my preferences are completely in play for this ranking.

3. Andrew Garfield. Let’s not kid ourselves. We all know why the Amazing Spider-Man movies were made. Andrew Garfield is attractive, sure, and he made some very successful movies toward the end of last year. But he’s way older (nearly 30 when the first Amazing Spider-Man was released) and way more hipster than Peter Parker should ever be.

2. Tobey Maguire. He’s not the greatest actor, or the most attractive, or the coolest guy in the world, but in my heart, Tobey Maguire will always be the iconic, “original” friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and I don’t think I’m overstepping many bounds to assume that of most of my generation. We’ve been subjected to three distinct, prominent Spider-Men in the last fifteen years; the turnaround on this particular superhero seems to be particularly fast (with five years between Maguire and Garfield, and only two between Garfield and Holland). Maguire stood at the forefront of Spider-Man-dom in my mind’s eye for my entire childhood, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

1. Tom Holland. It was sad to see Maguire go, but I have to give the top spot to Holland’s small role in Captain America: Civil War. Yeah, I know we’ve seen him on screen as the web-slinger a grand total of once, but I dare say he showed more than enough promise in those few minutes to convince me that Marvel knows how to properly write its properties. Holland displayed a near-perfect (high-school-aged) Peter Parker, complete with awkward pauses, star-struckness, and geeky behavior. I can’t wait to see how Marvel steps up its Spider-Man game this weekend.

HONORABLE MENTION: Spoderman and 60s Spider-Man memes. I can't wholeheartedly endorse all the memes because they can get pretty graphic, but some of them are hilarious.
REVIEW: Despicable Me 3By Quinn OxleyJune 30, 2017I almost didn’t write a review for this one. I cared so little about it.

I feel similarly now to how I did after I saw Cars 3. The first one was subpar for the studio, but still decent viewing. The second one was a travesty of epic proportions. And now that the studio has learned its lesson, the third installment is better, but better doesn’t necessarily mean great. Or even all that good.

Gru (Steve Carell) has a brother, and his brother wants him to be a villain. That’s the jist.

Credit where credit is due - Dru isn’t just a copy of Gru. The two have distinctly different voices with similarities strong enough to indicate a relation, and this kind of attention to detail in a kid’s movie (especially one in keeping with the quality of this franchise) is commendable.

But most of the rest of Despicable Me 3 is pretty forgettable. Despite a handful of good laughs, I didn’t feel connected to the characters or much care about what was happening.

I really don’t have that much to say.

Oh, except that the movie references and basically gives the finger to Finding Nemo in the first five minutes, which I thought was hilariously inappropriate.

Rating: 3.75/10
REVIEW: Baby DriverBy Quinn OxleyJune 29, 2017Finally, someone has made a movie about listening to music in the car. The wait is over.

All joking aside, Baby Driver is freaking incredible. Would it be too corny to call it a joyride? Okay, how about this - I felt like I was falling down a rabbit hole, holding my breath, refusing to blink, and all I wanted to do was fall faster and faster until I hit the bottom.

Enigmatic music-addict Baby (Ansel Elgort) drives freelance for Doc (Kevin Spacey), a near-omnipotent crime boss with whom Baby has some history. Doc, however, isn’t keen on letting go of Baby’s incredible services once Baby’s debt is satisfied. The whirlpool of the criminal life threatens to pull Baby back in, endangering his new lover, Debora (Lily James), and everything else that’s precious to him.

I’ve already written a piece fangirling over Edgar Wright, so I’ll try to keep my praise of him short and sweet. Directing, writing, shot composition, transitions - it’s all delectable. He maintains his signature style (seriously, 85% of action movies would benefit by being directed by this man), but keeps it relatively subtle.

Ansel Elgort carries his tight-lipped savant protagonist deftly throughout the film, and Lily James (while a bit perky for liking, but charming nonetheless) nails an American accent, if overcompensating occasionally at times. Their chemistry starts off naturally; it flares a little too quickly to be realistic in the whole sense of the word, but their story is fascinating enough that the speed is easy to forgive. Kevin Spacey is Kevin Spacey (intense, sarcastic, stone-faced, etc.).

Baby Driver’s action sequences are not too frequent to be overwhelming and are placed perfectly throughout the film; they’re shot interestingly, varied, and in a way that action sequences should be filmed - steadily, so you can actually focus on what’s going on. Not to mention that most of it feels like a beautifully choreographed dance, epic soundtrack included. Hats off to the staging manager.

The awesome does taper off toward the end of the film. Unfortunately the rabbit hole ends in a circuitous and not altogether satisfying conclusion, but that’s the film’s biggest caveat. Other than that, there were a few formulaic lines of dialogue; Jamie Foxx’s character was a bit obnoxious, but that serves its purpose in the film. Honestly, I’m just nitpicking now. 90% of Baby Driver is leagues beyond what we’ve been seeing this year - including Wonder Woman.

Is it good, though?

Absolutely. Probably the best movie I’ve seen this year. The end isn’t enough to get me down. Writer/director Edgar Wright is a gem, the leads are more than magnetic, it's atmospheric and stylish, and I can't wait to see it again.

Rating: 8.5/10

P.S. I’m a little jealous, honestly. I also have tinnitus, and I didn’t get any superpowers.
THE GENIUS OF: Edgar WrightBy Quinn OxleyJune 27, 2017I was going to call this piece “The Edgar Wright Stuff,” but I decided to go easy on you guys.

Major spoilers ahead for Hot Fuzz, which is definitely a movie you’ll want to go into blind if you haven’t seen it.

Baby Driver is in theaters this weekend and it’s already striking a chord with audiences and critics alike. IMDb, Metascore, and Letterboxd have all given it more than positive reviews, and Edgar Wright’s latest work currently holds a coveted rating of 99% on Rotten Tomatoes. I still plan to be 100% impartial, but suffice it to say I’m plenty excited.

With all Edgar Wright hype swirling about, I decided to check out one of his most notable titles - Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. It took me about four minutes in to become near-heartsick that we didn’t get to see his Ant-Man.

Scott Pilgrim is stylized to perfection. In the best way possible, the viewer has no idea what could happen next on screen - plot-wise, yes, but also effects-wise, transition-wise, exposition-wise, humor-wise, and tone-wise. But he doesn’t promise any kind of security; you can tell from the first few minutes of the movie that it’s not your average rom-com, so these shifts make sense, and they’re handled deftly.

And that’s not the only thing the movie has going for it. In both of the Wright movies I’ve seen, I’ve noticed a few notable trends.

He doesn’t seem at all bound by what’s normal or conventional, especially when it comes to genre. In the case of Scott Pilgrim, Wright blends the rom-com genre with the comic book movie; with Hot Fuzz, you find a mystery/thriller/comedy like RED, but again, with Wright’s signature style. Perhaps it’s the comedic promises made in the opening moments of his films that allow the audience to tolerate such a deviation from convention.

Wright’s films also feature characters that are part character and part caricature. Now, sometimes a caricature is an unwelcome addition in a movie, but again, Wright sets the tone early on, which lets his audience handle a lot more exaggeration. In Scott Pilgrim, many characters (except for Knives, who started off annoying but became a sweetheart) were deliciously blunt, sarcastic, and melodramatic, while most of the players in Hot Fuzz (SPOILERS) are in a conspiratorial cult, which really says it all. Wright really gets this generation’s sense of humor.

Both movies are also quite energetic, which keeps people engaged. There are no Transformers-style action sequences that go on for way too long; the story moves at an appropriate pace with a certain skater-style zigzag movement - and with just as much finesse.

It took two movies to bring Edgar Wright onto my “highly anticipated” list, and I can’t wait to see more of him this week.
REVIEW: Transformers: The Last KnightBy Quinn OxleyJune 22, 2017To modify a quote from The Office… when a child gets behind the wheel of a car and crashes into a tree, you don’t blame the child. You blame the audience that has paid to watch him do that four times already.

You guessed it - the world is reeling from a massive battle, but an even more massive one with higher stakes and more explosions is on the way if the Transformers and Cade Yaeger (whom we still care about, absolutely) don’t align themselves with an ancient order and save the day. And might an extremely contrived and ridiculous romantic subplot be in the works? (Spoiler alert: yes. Yes it is.)

I can’t pretend I’m not surprised, but it baffles me that I went in with low expectations and I was still disappointed.

Admittedly, Transformers: The Last Knight isn’t set up for me to enjoy it. I have so little tolerance for the Transformers movies. Once a movie hits the two-hour-and-ten-minute mark, my enjoyment decreases exponentially. Combine that with the fact that much of the two-and-a-half-hour runtime is mindless, incomprehensible action, and I’m already tapping my foot and checking the clock.

What completely dumbfounds me is that a movie with such a runtime devotes so little time to character development. You cannot - cannot - cannot make a two-and-a-half-hour movie and populate it with characters that I care nothing about. Sure, it’s a Transformers movie; it’s about the robots, right? Not in the fun way, no. The Autobots form the backdrop of the plot, but most of the time we’re following around the human characters and focusing on their affairs.

I have no idea, as well, why a movie with this runtime feels the need to rush through scene after scene to get to the long, drawn-out, nothing-burger action sequences. In the same movies, there are five-minute increments that have within them three or four scenes - enough jerking around to give you whiplash - and scenes that seem to continue on forever. There’s such a gross mismatch of pacing.

Let’s talk about the dialogue: it sucks. That’s all I really have to say.

Let’s talk about the acting: see above.

There were two or so actual laugh-out-loud moments, but one of them comes at the compromise of characters that were supposed to be intimidating.

I can’t do this to myself anymore. Life is too short. There are far too many films I could better spend my time watching. And three more films in this Hindenburg of a franchise have already been confirmed. There is, however, a glimmer of hope for the Autobots; Michael Bay has stepped down as director of the franchise for now. Ironically, he has said he would consider directing future installments if he found a good story (IMDb).

I’m going to cleanse this weekend by watching something decent. Maybe Inception. Anything, really, but this.

Rating: 2/10
THE GENIUS OF: The OfficeBy Quinn OxleyJune 21, 2017With all the media that’s pure awfulness nowadays, it’s nice to revisit some classics that have their own iconic brand of genius. Sometimes I watch a movie and I notice a lot of things that could have been done better, and I think, “Perhaps I’m just hypercritical.” But then I revisit a masterpiece like The Office and I’m assured that the entertainment industry really does have the capacity to create something near-perfect.

So, without further ado, I present: The Genius of The Office.

The Office is anything but some obscure production. Over the course of its run, the show was nominated for nine Golden Globes, and it is currently the Internet Movie Database’s 61st highest-rated television show of all time at 8.8/10 stars. The show catapulted many yet-unknowns into not household names, but iconic Office names - Michael Scott, Jim Halpert and Pam Beesely (they have to be listed together), Dwight Schrute, Andy Bernard. Its success is not without recognition.

But why is it so beloved? Well, for starters, the show’s success is owed almost entirely to the dynamics between the show’s characters. In particular, Michael Scott shines as the most entertaining player; Steve Carrell offers a flawless performance as the outrageously childish branch manager, while his writers constantly place him in situations that clash his duties as a manager (bringing the office bad news, settling disputes, etc.) with his complex-level desire to be liked by his “work family.” The rest of the characters are also ingeniously written. Jim and Pam - my forever OTP, might I add - serve as the series’ anchors in reality while being well-rounded, charming characters in and of themselves, while nearly every other member of the office are just realistic enough to be relatable, and outlandish enough to make for near-divine hilarity and spot-on social commentary. Larger-than-life characters like Dwight and Creed provide a complete contrast to the humdrum backdrop of a standard office environment.

Even the show’s premise and format lend themselves to a really intimate look at the characters, which is an incredible tool for developing an emotional connection with them without the cheesy soliloquy. In the show’s interview segments, the characters (most often) separate themselves from the rest of the cast, allowing one-on-one facetime with the audience wherein we learn their individual responses to the events on the show, allowing us to get to know them better. The audience learns about the characters through what they say and through what they omit because they know they’re being filmed. These characters, by the end of the series, aren’t characters; you know them so well, they’re your friends.

While the documentary format is perfect for character development, it’s also an effective tool for comedy. Again, dropping characters in a feedback-vacuum allows the viewer to feel like they’re having a personal conversation with the character. Especially in the case of characters as hysterical (in both senses) as Michael, discrepancies between the characters’ observations and our own contribute to the show’s comedy. (It sounds so boring and formulaic between I describe it like that… but it is what it is.)

The performances also add to the show’s brilliance. One could argue that not much acting was involved, as the performers are simply playing everyday people in an everyday office, but each actor serves their purpose perfectly, whether they’re going for completely (but low-key) ridiculous (Creed), all-out sociopath (Dwight), sane and nice-guy suave (Jim), or judgemental and hypocritical (Angela). Each performance caps off a perfectly written character.

It all comes together into one perfect burrito that is one of the most charming and hilarious shows that media has to offer. Not only is it an incredible experience the first time through, but The Office has infinite rewatch value as well. Sure, there was a definite drop-off in quality after Steve Carrell left the show, but the rest of the cast is worth sticking around for - especially for the emotional payoff of the series finale.

The Office is a paragon of its genre. Between the writing, the format, and the performances, the Dunder-Mifflin chronicles prove time and again to be the show for anyone who loves a laugh with good friends.
REVIEW: Cars 3By Quinn OxleyJune 16, 2017Every fair critique of a film comes from appropriate expectations. Batman is the world’s greatest detective and a dusky dealer of vigilante justice, so it makes sense that Batman and Robin - the movie which features the major Bat bulge and the Bat credit card- is considered one of the worst films of all time. That understood, since it would be completely acceptable to expect that Cars 3 would be a smoldering dumpster fire, the third installment into this very strange and arguably unnecessary franchise was actually a decent surprise.

Okay. It’s no Finding Nemo. But it’s not Cars 2, either. For what it is, it’s actually very poignant.

It’s still a Cars movie. The story moves a bit too quickly and awkwardly; the dialogue is cheesy and bloated; it’s still Owen Wilson and Larry the Cable Guy; and they’re still anthropomorphic cars. All of this is to be expected, though, so it doesn’t majorly hinder the viewing experience.

Surprisingly, Cars 3 takes on some very interesting and appropriate thematic arcs, ultimately bow-tying into a pretty satisfactory and unconventional conclusion.

Also in the plus column: Mater resumes his role as best friend. Disney duly took note of people’s distaste for him as the protagonist.

Don’t go in expecting Inside Out. Watch Cars 2 again, and then see this one. It’ll be so much better.

Rating: 6/10
REVIEW: The MummyBy Quinn OxleyJune 10, 2017Mild spoilers ahead, but the movie was awful, so don’t bother.

Sometimes I watch a movie and I’m thrilled by all the things its creators have done right. Sometimes I watch a movie and nothing really stands out to me. Then there are times when I watch movies like The Mummy, and all I can really do when I’m done is ask, “What is life? What is anything? Why does this exist? Why does Hollywood want us to suffer?”

Tom Cruise is… I don’t know. He does something. He’s in Iraq with the comedy relief character, Jake Johnson’s character on New Girl. (Trust me; they’re one and the same.) After an airstrike reveals an Egyptian tomb (in Iraq for some reason?), Nick (Tom Cruise Nick, not Jake Johnson Nick) unleashes ancient evil upon the world in the form of a contrived backstory you’ll get to know better than his own character.

No. No. No. No. No.

First major problem: tonal shifts. The Mummy can’t decide whether it wants to be a funny and quirky adventure film or a serious thriller. Exhibit A: (name redacted because spoilers) is bitten by a spider and turns into an actual slow-walking, no-talking zombie. (Pronoun redacted because spoilers) then reappears as a hallucination, I guess, as a sentient, Warm-Bodies-style zombie with the motor function of a normal human being, cracking lame jokes that the entertainment industry still thinks are funny (like saying “That was intense” after a bus crash).

Next major problem: both of the main characters are extremely boring. Given, there are certain elements about the antagonist that are interesting, but they’re completely wasted on characters that warrant no encouragement from the audience whatsoever. I couldn’t have cared less about what happened to them. Neither Tom Cruise nor Annabelle Wallis had any likeability, and I had no reason to root for them - and when the climax comes, Tom Cruise’s actions have no weight because of it. I probably would have preferred that Sofia Boutella’s mummy had succeeded in conquering the world. Would have made for a much more interesting movie.

Also: Russell Crowe? WTF? Who… why? What? Why? What did he contribute to the story? His role seemed so random and oddly placed. His performance is obnoxious as well. I don’t know. This just infuriated me.

Another major problem: the pacing. Things either don’t happen at all or happen all at once, which makes for a very jarring experience. It’s like a roller coaster, but the bad kind that isn’t fun at all and jerks you back and forth and gives you a headache.

I. Hated. This. Movie.

This movie is a huge middle finger to anyone that likes movies. It is not good. It is not even a movie. It feels like an exercise in caution that I would watch in screenwriting class on how not to make a movie.

Please don’t do this to us anymore, Hollywood. You have so much going for you.

Rating: 2/10
REVIEW: Wonder WomanBy Quinn OxleyJune 3, 2017WhatCulture recently released a video asking if Wonder Woman is the most well-received superhero movie ever. It might be - you know, if we suddenly entered a world where Logan, Deadpool, and The Dark Knight don’t exist. (No offense, Diana.)

Wonder Woman is by far the best DCEU film to date. That’s not saying much, but it sure is something.

Alright, I’m not going to harp on about the negative. This move is actually a solid 75% pure awesome.

The first thing DC got right: they made Diana Prince an incredible character. I can’t speak from a comics standpoint, but the film portrays her not simply as a fierce warrior, but as a fierce warrior who is knowledgeable and nuanced and emotional. She is a real woman, and a real woman that I would look up to. (And I don’t consider myself a feminist.)

The next thing they did right: the relational dynamic between Diana and Steve Trevor is near-perfect. For once, you can see two strongly written, interesting characters who have a relationship that makes sense. I have immense respect for DC for not compromising Steve Trevor’s character to make Diana stand out as more powerful. She fends for herself; he fends for himself; and they make an “effective team.” (In case any of you forgot Oblivion existed.)

Gal Gadot is a gem. She is the only reason I’m looking forward to any future DC installments. Chris Pine is gorgeous, yes, but he serves Steve Trevor well.

Some of the special effects - in particular, the jumping effects - were off, but for the most part, they’re forgivable.

The one major caveat: the ending. I won’t talk spoilers, but suffice it to say I was sorely let down by the final showdown. They seemed to be going in a certain direction and then departed completely from it, and featured an unintimidating villain and a climax overwhelmed with those iffy special effects. This taints the rest of the film for future viewings, unfortunately, but at least DC did us right by making Wonder Woman a great character with limitless potential for future success in the franchise.

Rating: 7.5
REVIEW: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No TalesBy Quinn OxleyMay 26, 2017Before I say anything about this film, I have something I need to ask. I slept through most of Skyfall and I’ve still got No Country for Old Men waiting for me on my Netflix queue, so before Dead Men Tell No Tales, I had never seen Javier Bardem in anything. Is he even human? Who is this terrifying Spanish jaguar-man? Uwe Boll could direct a creature feature where the creature was just Bardem running around spouting poetry for two hours and it would be bone-chilling. He alone is worth the price of admission.

The plot boils down to this: a couple of parent-bereft prodigies (Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario) are looking for the Trident of Poseidon, and some ghost pirates are pretty upset with Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp).

So, it’s not amazing. Even as far as mindless summer summer action goes.

However, it does have a pretty strong start that gave me high hopes for the rest of the film. The first half or so of the second act is very entertaining - it might be ridiculous and brainless, but it’s fun to have on while you're shoveling popcorn in your mouth. The effects used on the blinding Bardem and his ghastly crew are genuinely interesting and by far the best effects in the film.

Then, though, you get a bit of a preview halfway through the film of how wonky the CGI will be near the end of the film, and it really compromises the immersion. Some of the execution of certain story elements was also a bit cumbersome.

MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD. You have been warned.

Obviously Depp is his usual charming drunk. Thwaites is wasted as a character (who himself is and whose subplot is) too thinly written, and Scodelario goes back and forth between interesting and cookie-cutter. Bardem steals the show. He and Geoffrey Rush spend more than one scene together, but one in particular might convince viewers they were watching a much better film; the caliber of their acting is superb.

Is it good, though?

Mmmm. Eh. If you could salvage Bardem’s villain and add better atmospheric CGI and a bit more tactful of a story, it would be great. As is, it's okay.

Rating: 6/10
REVIEW: Alien: CovenantBy Quinn OxleyMay 19, 2017These things have terrified me since I was old enough to walk. I couldn’t sit in peace through the first half of Walt Disney World’s Great Movie Ride knowing that I would have to come face-to-face with H.R. Giger’s hellspawn. I swore I would never watch any of the Alien films - that I wasn’t composed of the kind of stuff that could stomach the gore and the depravity.

A few weeks ago, I watched all four of the original films in one day in preparation for Alien: Covenant. Little did I know I didn’t have to see any of them to understand the newest installment.

I had to have seen Prometheus. Unfortunately, I haven’t, so I had no idea what the &$%* was going on.

The best summary I can give is this: a colonization mission goes awry when a random neutrino burst damages the ship and kills the captain. In the wake of this tragedy, the crew picks up a stray signal from a nearby planet ideal for colonization and decides to investigate. This being an Alien film, rest assured things get… extraterrestrial. And explode-y.

As I said, I did not see Prometheus, so I was largely lost. Even having read many synopses and watch many analysis videos on the 2012 film, I had so little idea of what was going on. From what I can gather by research since seeing Covenant, apparently this film complicated the lore significantly, which is even less helpful for my situation. The friend I saw it with (who has seen none of the films and understood it as little as I did) compared the film to being “thrown around by a bunch of people who were showing me pictures of organs.” Without going into spoilers, all I can say to account for my confusion is that I didn’t understand the antagonist’s motivation.

From what I did gather, however, I can say I enjoyed what I did see so long as I tried not to compare it to the first two original films. Michael Fassbender, as usual, commits his whole self to his dual role. Katherine Waterston is no replacement for Ripley, but she gets the job done and plays a realistic, relatable character. While I’m a lightweight when it comes to horror, I wasn’t terrified; I was on-edge just enough (most of the time) to get the thrill of any modern-day horror film.

The main thing that would sabotage the viewing experience for anyone is going in with the expectation that they were getting an Alien film. A creature feature. It was much more about the larger story than the xenomorph. Go in wanting more Prometheus and less Nostromo, if that makes sense.

Is it good, though?

Again, depends on what you’re wanting. I was thoroughly confused and found myself wanting more Alien, but I would go in again and likely come out pleased if I’d had the proper expectations.

Rating: 5.5/10
REVIEW: King Arthur: Legend of the SwordBy Quinn OxleyMay 12, 2017Charlie Hunnam sits up in bed. He disrobes. He obviously bulked up for this role. I turn to my brother, who’s in the theater with me, and I whisper, “I like this movie.”

Jude Law does literally anything. He says something in that smoky English cadence. I turn to my brother again. “I really like this movie.”

While Arthur Pendragon (Charlie Hunnam) has been raised into a caring yet rough-and-tumble young man in a brothel far from Camelot, his uncle Vortigern has taken on the role of king. Arthur has few memories of his royal lineage, until Excalibur - and a small cadre of rebels - begins to call out to him and convince him to take up arms against Vortigern’s unjust rule.

Sounds like your standard rite of passage period piece, right?

Well… that’s pretty much it.

But it’s a bit more interesting than that.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword boasts Guy Ritchie as its director, which sets the film up for distinction. Ritchie keeps the story moving pretty quickly by letting scenes run parallel, which allows him to indulge in his signature creative storytelling style. (I’m a little biased. Guy Ritchie is one of my all-time favorites.)

As well, I’ve never liked Arthur more. (Then again, Hunnam’s competition is he Arthur from Shrek the Third, so it’s not what I’d call stiff.) He didn’t feel like the cookie-cutter action hero; I felt as though Ritchie’s take was given a real character arc and a well-defined personality that Hunnam brought to life in a likable, intriguing way.

However, wonky CG and swooping, start-and-stop camera movements make the climactic combat sequences feel much like a video game’s QTEs, which is… disenchanting, to say the least. It also goes a little long. Noticeably long. But perhaps that’s just my short attention span talking.

Is it good, though?

It is good. As far as the story goes, don’t expect much more than your standard Arthurian fare, but Ritchie certainly makes the film worthwhile.

Rating: 6.5/10
REVIEW: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2By Quinn OxleyMay 6, 2017As a huge fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I adore Marvel’s opening weekends. The modern quips, the magnificent effects, the post-credits scenes - it’s a new media experience, even if it is basically the same gift in a different package each time. (These movies are gifts; don’t think twice about that. Also: I am not biased.)

However, we all know that not all Marvel movies are created equal. You can’t compare Captain America: Winter Soldier to Iron Man 2, or the original Avengers to Thor: The Dark World. (Sorry, Carlos.) As with people, I love all Marvel films equally, but I like some more than others.

I don’t care what IMDb, Metascore, or Rotten Tomatoes say. I did not like Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Or, to be fair, I guess I should say I was very disappointed in what should have been an incredible sequel.

So, after a quick job on the Sovereign, the Guardians very fortuitously run into Peter’s father (Kurt Russell). Bearing the name Ego, he brings with him the innocent empath Mantis (Pom Klementieff), as well as some very questionable motives for suddenly wanting to be a father to Peter.

I can count on a Marvel movie for three things: at least half-interesting banter, a grand-scale battle of some kind, and a Stan Lee cameo. While the cameo hardly deserves acclaim, I’ll give Vol. 2 credit that it avoids what TV Tropes refers to as the “high-altitude battle” found in The Avengers, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Captain America: Winter Soldier, Iron Man 3, and several other superhero films.

However, the film also avoided much of the witty dialogue present in the original. I laughed maybe three or four times - and, given, when I laughed, I laughed out loud, and hard - but most of the rest of the time I spent cringing at cliched dialogue (show, don’t tell) and many characters that were awesome originally who have been reduced to caricatures of their former selves.

The plot gets going too quickly, seems to land in the middle of the Guardians’ world from nowhere (why again is this happening right now?), and once it gets going, tries to focus on too many new variables at once to be interesting. Batman v. Superman suffered from the same syndrome.

What was most devastating about Vol. 2, however, is not its shortcomings in particular - it’s that it could have been amazing. It could have been just as good as the original. Sure, Vol. 2 had a few LOL-moments, but it was missing much of the charm of the first - which is painful to say, because the core of the movie really is a fascinating new subject for Marvel. The third act picks up significantly; once the main conflict is realized, things become much more interesting. If some more thought had been put into what was built up from this foundation, it would have reached Captain America-sequel quality.

Is it good, though?

Ugh. It pains me to say this. It was alright. Not nearly what we deserved.

Rating: 5/10
REVIEW: The CircleBy Quinn OxleyApril 28, 2017I love Tom Hanks. (Maybe it’s a Tom thing.) I grew up with Toy Story and I came of cinematic-appreciation-age with Catch Me If You Can, Saving Private Ryan, Captain Phillips and Saving Mr. Banks. There’s little he can do wrong in my mind. And, as usual, he’s great. But, as Jeremy from CinemaSins would say, “Oh no… they dragged poor Tom Hanks into this, didn’t they?”

You know how your cat or dog or young sibling sees that you’re in the bathroom and they call your name from just outside the door because they want to be in there with you? That’s The Circle. Okay, it’s more of a commentary on the ever-dwindling privacy of the digital age, but they do make bathroom jokes.

Mae Holland (Emma Watson) is able to quit her miserable job after being secured an interview at the Circle by her friend Annie. Despite her friend Mercer’s (Ellar Coltrane) reservations about the company, Mae sees how much the Circle can do to improve the lives of those she loves. She works hard and makes herself useful to the company’s frontman, Eamon Bailey (Tom Hanks), all the while delving further into the cultish depths of the company’s philosophies and practices.

I did not like this film. And it’s not very good. There is a difference.

The film’s script is dreadful. There were four scenes that I could count which were so poorly written and executed that I was near physical discomfort; The Circle plays out as if it expects you to care for characters, relationships, and circumstances that the film itself invests nothing in. Crucial emotional payoffs hinge on these underdeveloped elements. Thus, you get uncomfortable laughter instead of concern.

The performances don’t help, though. Emma Watson is passable, despite her uneasy American accent. Tom Hanks, of course, is a gem. Karen Gillan is wonderful as well, but maybe I’m biased because I’m a Whovian, myself. Ellar Coltrane, though, is such an anticlimax. (Almost as much as the film’s own anticlimax.) John Boyega has… maybe four minutes of screen time.

The film’s underpinning concepts, admittedly, warrant further investigation by more competent writers. The Circle is, at the very least, thought-provoking. I’d venture to guess it could be interpreted as a metaphor for big government, but with such a clunky medium, I can’t tell for sure.

The ending, no spoilers, left me so confused. It explains so little and feels like a muddled final attempt at an interesting moral.

Is it good, though?

No. It’s not good. Not a fan. 0/10, would not see again.

Actual rating: 3/10
REVIEW: Free FireBy Quinn OxleyApril 21, 2017Some people ask me not if a movie is good, but if a movie is worth seeing.

Picture in your head a bunch of great actors shambling around a warehouse shooting at each other… none of them can use their legs.

Are you picturing it?  I’ll give you a minute.

That’s it.  You’ve seen Free Fire.

Was it worth it?

A spot-on lineup.  Brie Larson, Cillian Murphy, Sharlto Copley, Armie Hammer, Sam Riley - no one gave a half-performance.  I would name more, but at that point I would just be naming the cast.  No complaints in this area.

I’m not sure what else there is on top of that.

If you were to see a movie that takes place almost entirely in one room, you’d expect it to be almost entirely character-driven - and Free Fire is, to a certain extent.  But it’s more quantity than quality.  While superbly acted… these characters are very confusing.  This would be forgivable in any other film, but the restricted locale puts a ton of focus on the characters, and they don’t quite hold up to scrutiny.

Once the meetup devolves into a shootout, it’s extremely unclear who’s motivated by what.  Two characters’ motives are easy to pick out, and one more you can probably guess, but that leaves at least five people crawling around aimlessly.  (It doesn’t help that three characters have thick foreign accents.  Sorry, Copley.)

It is hilarious, though, how nonchalant everyone is about the situation.  It often feels like this shootout is a minor inconvenience akin to a hangnail.

The film also makes a pretty profound statement.  The characters begin tentatively, hopefully, but they’re treading in dangerous territory and things go south very quickly.  It could speak to humanity’s innate, despicable proclivity toward self-interest, bitterness, anger, and violence.  Free Fire may serve as a reminder that we must be kind to our fellow man, lest we all end up like the ill-fated barbarians of millennia past.

Or maybe it’s just about the guns.  What do I know?

Is it good?  I didn’t like it, but it’s watchable if you don’t mind a lot of confusion and language.

Rating: 4.5/10
REVIEW: Going in StyleBy Quinn OxleyApril 8, 2017You know, I went into this film with absolutely no idea what it was about, and despite the fact that I could basically tell where it was going once it got started, I really enjoyed myself.  New official recommendation: don't read or watch anything about movies before seeing them.

Old men try to rob a bank.  That's really all this movie is about.  The bank is taking their money and they take it back.  And it's surprisingly entertaining.

Michael Caine actually seems to be phoning it in for Going in Style, while Morgan Freeman and Alan Arkin bring to the table their standard performances.

This was not the most underwhelming movie I've seen this year.  In fact, it was probably the most unexpectedly entertaining movie I’ve seen this year.  Interestingly shot, more or less decently written, with a relatively satisfying narrative - I actually enjoyed Going in Style.

Given, it's not top-notch entertainment.  It's no Ocean’s Eleven.  It can be cheesy and predictable and it's not always funny.  However, it's endearing enough to have been a pleasant surprise.

Is it good, though?

It’s not bad.  It’s better than to be expected of April, as most April releases are a waste of time.  Maybe not worth seeing in theaters, but definitely worth a rental.

Rating: 6/10
REVIEW: Kong: Skull IslandBy Quinn OxleyApril 1, 2017This may be a few weeks late, but I actually find my review of Kong: Skull Island to be incredibly timely.

When an adventurous team of scientists approaches Tom Hiddleston and asks him to guide them through the treacherous Skull Island, he uses his expertise and rugged good looks to lead them through Kong’s territory.  But is he gorgeous enough to get them out alive?  Okay, I don’t know about all of them, but he’s certainly gorgeous enough to try.

For a change, I’d like to talk you through my numerical rating of the film.

One star for Tom Hiddleston’s acting.  Captain James Conrad is a deep, layered individual on par with Heath Ledger’s Joker and Gregory Peck’s Atticus Finch.  Get that man an Oscar already.

One star for the enrapturing plot.  Tom Hiddleston’s journey through Skull Island certainly kept my attention.

One star for the stunning cinematography.  Tom Hiddleston looks good at every angle.

One star for the the score.  Tom Hiddleston’s voice is mint chocolate chip ice cream.  His accent is thick hot fudge.  Mmmm.

One star for the script.  Apparently, Hiddleston wrote all his own lines.  Brilliant and beautiful.  He is perfection.

One star for the stunt choreography.  When he (Tom Hiddleston, I mean) slices through that creature with a katana - Heaven help me.

One star for the effects.  Although, we all know which part of Kong: Skull Island most affected me.

One star for the wardrobe.  Another star for whomever decided to give Tom Hiddleston a shirt that showed off his flawless physique.

And one star for Tom Hiddleston, just because I’m a little biased.

Rating: 10/10
REVIEW: Ghost in the ShellBy Quinn OxleyApril 1, 2017It’s your typical American adaptation.  More action.  Less art.  Less to think about; way easier to understand.

Also way more predictable, but maybe that’s just the cynic in me.

After cybernetic enhancements have pervaded society, we have perfected the cyborg - a completely human brain (“ghost”) in a completely mechanical body (“shell;” get it?).  This is Major, and she uses her superhuman strength to lead a special task force dedicated to stopping terrorists.  And, as usual, something goes wrong, and you can’t trust anyone...

Now, obviously adaptations and remakes beg to be compared to their predecessors, but I also want to give this new Ghost in the Shell a chance to exist in a vacuum as an independent piece.  (The original could be considered… shall we say… cultured viewing?  It’s obscure; that’s what I’m trying to say.)

As its own film, Ghost in the Shell is decent.  Nothing remarkable; nothing that hasn’t been done before, but it’s decent.  Watchable.  Very watchable, actually, as there are some stunningly beautiful scenes to be seen therein.  (I would make a comparison to the original’s incredible animation, but I’m trying to consider this iteration as its own piece, so…)  There is also quite a haunting score at times; it helps to build the atmosphere.

The plot is pretty standard fare.  Suppressed memories in need of remembering; terrorists in need of tracking down; secrets in need of coming to light.  That kind of stuff.  It took a rather heavy philosophical concept and did very little with it, instead settling for the action-heavy approach.  (Again, I can’t compare it to the original, so…)

Is it good, though?

It’s decent.  Very nice to look at (although it should come with a photosensitivity warning) and listen to, but mainly a popcorn flick.  If that’s most of what you want, then by all means, it’s good.

Rating: 6/10
REVIEW: LifeBy Quinn OxleyMarch 25, 2017What is Life?

I asked myself this question many times during this movie.  Not myself a horror fan, I often found that I had paid for a ticket to my own discomfort.  Hence the question, “What even?  What is life?”

It’s more or less Gravity meets Alien, which is a crossover you’d think everyone wants, but it’s not as grand as you’d think.

Six members of the crew aboard the International Space Station begin to study an organism discovered in samples of Mars’s soil and realize they should have left well enough alone.

I don’t see the need for this film.  If you want to see people in space get taken down by an alien, watch Alien.  If you want to see someone struggle with space equipment for a while, watch Gravity.  Life brought almost nothing new to the table, and the creature looks almost like something out of Jim Hensen’s Labyrinth.

Rebecca Ferguson is by far the film’s most compelling performer; however, while the cast is composed of competent actors, together they don’t have much of a chemistry.

Scary?  Not so much as it inspired a sense of major discomfort, but I'm no seasoned horror veteran.  The idea of a creature doing to me what it does in the film is harrowing, but I can't speak for those in our readership who frequent films of this genre.  I suppose it could have been more frightening

Is it good, though?

Eh.  It's not awful.  It kept my attention, but it didn't do anything that hasn't been done before.

Rating: 5/10
REVIEW: Beauty and the BeastBy Quinn OxleyMarch 19, 2017Let me ask you one question: if the movie takes place in France, why do all the characters have distinctly English accents?

And another question: do I need to provide you with a summary of the tale is old as time?

We all know about this movie.  We all know about the original.  Disney is an all-powerful overlord whose domain knows no boundaries (read with nostalgia and love for the all-powerful overlord).

Firstly, it is great.  I love live-action adaptations of animated films - if they're done well.  And for most intents and purposes, this was done very well.  Props, sets, cinematography, music, acting - when all is said and done, it's well worth seeing in theaters.  Make no mistake: I thoroughly enjoyed Beauty and the Beast.

That being said, I have a few complaints.

Emma Watson, you've obviously captured the heart of our generation.  Before our eyes, you grew from an adorable child actress into a powerful role model for young women.  You can't sing, though, and no amount of modification to your voice will turn you into a Disney princess, especially when everyone else in the film can sing.  I'm sorry.  And pretty disappointed.

It's also worth noting that the live-action adaptation makes it apparent just how weird it is that this young girl falls in love with a giant mythical creature.  The distancing element present in animation takes your mind off the strangeness of it all, but seeing Emma Watson flirt with a seven-foot bear-goat-man really brings to the forefront some uncomfortable beastiality implications.  But maybe I'm just reading too much into it.

I'd also like to comment on the homosexuality in the film.

There was none.

Okay, I guess the implication was there, but not nearly enough to warrant the kind of controversy this film garnered before its release.  Although I adhere to the traditional Christian position on homosexuality, I didn't find the update to the character offensive or even obnoxious.  Lefou was an interesting, lighthearted, entertaining character, whose sexuality wasn't even commented on in detail.  Evangelicals, color yourselves played by the marketing team for this film.

The ensemble song and dance numbers do their fair share to make the film the joy that it is.  “Belle,” “Gaston,” “Be Our Guest,” “Kill the Beast” - these are the pinnacles of creativity, emotion, spectacle, and - yeah, I'll say it - magic.  I cried multiple times.  (Side note: I love Disney’s original Beauty and the Beast, so most of the tears were nostalgia-prompted.)

Is it good, though?

Yes.  It gave an interesting new take on a Disney classic and, despite a few hiccups, portends great things for the future of live-action Disney adaptations.

Rating: 7/10
REVIEW: LoganBy Quinn OxleyMarch 4, 2017I’ve never been particularly fond of the X-Men films.  I didn't grow up watching them; few of the characters appeal to me; and three of the (now) ten films are infamously awful in my mind, at least (X3, obviously; Origins: Wolverine; and Apocalypse).  Would it be ignorant of an MCU fan to say she dislikes a comic book franchise because she feels like they all have the same dull feel?

Anyway.

Logan’s different.

The premise alone makes the film worth it.  An aging Wolverine (Logan, living under alias James Howlett, played for the tenth and final time by the iconic Hugh Jackman) now works as a limo driver and cares for nonagenarian Professor X (Patrick Stewart), with the help of an albino mutant named Caliban (Stephen Merchant).  In the midst of saving enough money to leave their run-down home, a young mutant named Laura (Dafne Keen) is dropped into his lap, and he must get her to safety.

Logan takes familiar characters and places them in interesting new predicaments, but also keeps certain trademarks of the X-Men films.  It takes the old and well-loved and moves it in a fascinating new direction, while making you care quickly for the brand new from the get-go.

It’s more than sad to see Jackman hang up his claws, but I have no doubt that this is the beginning of a great career for Keen - she in no way falls into the child-actor pitfalls and easily keeps pace with her adult costars (despite having little dialogue to develop her character).  Personally, I’d have preferred a bit more screen time for Stephen Merchant, but that’s probably because I adore Stephen Merchant.  Take my opinion on his role with a grain of salt.

It kills me that I can’t go into full detail about the thematic appropriateness of the film’s plot; that would involve major spoiler talk, though it’s not hard to put together the pieces early into the film.  Suffice it to say that this is a satisfactory conclusion for a beloved character.

On the downside, it’s long.  Noticeably long.  Not nearly as long as X-Men: Apocalypse, but I found myself once or twice noting its length.

Is it good, though?

All-in-all, of course it’s good.  Some elements are predictable and it drags in spots, but that detracts little from the experience.  Visceral.  Enveloping.

I’m not even a huge fan of the X-Men films, and I’m sad to see him go.

Rating: 7.5/10
REVIEW: Get OutBy Quinn OxleyFebruary 25, 2017Faithful readers will know I’m not a fan of horror.  I’m obligated to make that known at the start of every horror review: a horror movie must be more than torture-porn for me to show up.

Interesting enough premise; African-American photographer Chris Washington (Daniel Kaluuya) travels with his Caucasian girlfriend, Rose Armitage (Allison Williams), to spend the weekend with her parents at their strange, secluded property.  The locals seem to constantly spout racist micro-aggressions.  And there’s also the (literally) hypnotic pastime of Rose’s mother, Missy (Catherine Keener).  “Hilarity” ensues.

Personally, I wouldn’t have even called Get Out a horror movie.

It’s not scary.  At least, not on the surface.  It’s far more atmospheric than it is frightening, per se.  The first jumpscare is pretty masterful, actually, and jumpscares in general are few and far between in Get Out, which I greatly appreciated.  The tone is uncomfortable - the effective kind.  The actual conspiracy (come on; that can’t be a spoiler…) is little more than the second half of an episode of Doctor Who, though - thematically satisfying, creatively intriguing, but ultimately nothing that hasn’t been done before.

What helps develop Get Out’s unsettling atmosphere, though, is its natural script and the comfortable, expert performances of its actors; its world is almost seamless, which makes the discomfort that comes later all the more impactful.  Kaluuya and Williams have incredible chemistry; Bradley Whitford - playing Dean Armitage, Rose’s father - and Keener provide subtly imposing suburban antagonists, and the supporting cast continues to support the illusion (with the slight exception of Betty Gabriel, whose performance in the trailer gave me the impression that the film was a dark comedy, which it was not).

Now, obviously this premise lends itself to a large-scale metaphor, which could be why it’s called a horror movie.  Discussing the racial commentary would involve spoiling much of the film, so that won’t take place in this review.  While I feel less than qualified to share my opinion on such topics, I may write up a separate, spoiler-ific piece on the racial issues addressed by the film, just because it’s so relevant in today’s cultural climate.

Is it good, though?

Yes; for its purposes, it is good.  Not “100% on Rotten Tomatoes” good, but it’s good.  Entertaining.  Moderately disturbing.

Rating: 6.5/10
REVIEW: The Lego Batman MovieBy Quinn OxleyFebruary 11, 2017I was mildly disappointed that it didn’t feature Batman’s “Untitled Self Portrait” (“Darkness, no parents”) from its predecessor, but I digress.

Do I need a synopsis here?  It’s Batman, and The Lego Movie.  You’re gonna see it.

By far, the best thing about The Lego Batman Movie is its self-awareness.  The references alone are worth the price of admission.  Batman and Robin, Batman v Superman, Suicide Squad - nothing is safe from a biting critique.  The movie has a perfect understanding of Batman’s cultural presence and capitalizes on it in the best way.  The movie also revolves around some historically fascinating facets of Batman’s character - his back and forth with the Joker, his loner persona, and his extremely awkward relationship with Robin.  I’d even go so far as to say that future live-action Batman films could learn a thing or two from this approach to the character.

The scenes where humor was the focal point were absolutely hilarious.  The opening scene, for example, was very Deadpool, and I love to see that kind of hyperbolic, cognizant humor making its way into movies with a less exclusive audience.

Obviously, Will Arnett leaves an indelible mark on animated Batman, and Zach Galifianakis is a surprisingly appropriate Joker.  (Of course, Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill will always be the standards, but for this movie’s approach, Arnett and Galifianakis were spot-on for their respective roles.)  Michael Cera, Ralph Fiennes, and Rosario Dawson provide an exceptional supporting cast, and the myriad of other voice talents - Jenny Slate, Jemaine Clements, Seth Green, Eddie Izzard, and on and on into eternity - make the film a joy to listen to.

The Lego Batman Movie isn’t perfect, however.  The story isn’t so subtle, which is par for a family-oriented film, but slightly disappointing nonetheless.  While the story does like to focus on the more relational side of Batman’s lore, it has some trouble accomplishing that.  His relationship with Robin is still awkward, even if it is “clearly” a father-son relationship; his interactions with the Joker are also satirized, but as the film is coming to a close, their chemistry becomes… strange, to say the least.  Much of the conversational humor failed to impress me, as well, but that simply means I didn’t laugh at every joke.  The movie’s more than covered in the humor department.

Is it good, though?

Definitely.  Perhaps not the best animated movie ever made, but undoubtedly the best DC big-screen feature in the last five years.

Rating: 7.5/10
REVIEW: John Wick: Chapter 2By Quinn OxleyFebruary 9, 2017I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.  Some of my sources pan John Wick as a melodramatic attempt at a thriller; IMDb and Metascore ratings, however, reflect a high-quality film.  John Wick: Chapter 2 lands somewhere in between.

John Wick, purportedly the world’s greatest hitman, is fresh off the hot vengeance streak that is the first film and ready to leave it all behind when he finds himself bound by a blood oath to murder once again.  Things go south, and suddenly he’s a seven-million-dollar man.

The structure of the film loses you.  If you know anything about the film going in, it’ll feel like it takes a good long while to get started (after an initial ten minutes of kicking butt and not bothering to take names).  Several scenes start off with thrilling promise, but halfway through you think to yourself, “Wow… I’ve been watching this gunfight for, like, fifteen minutes.”  Sure, it’s expected to be action-heavy, but my attention span is only so long.

I’m not sure this is common knowledge, but acting is not Keanu Reeves’ strong suit.  (He does wear a strong suit, though, if you catch my drift.)  He settles for grunting his lines and staring confusedly in different directions, hoping the camera picks up his delivery.  Though, modern audiences don’t expect much more from him than his signature furrowed-brow charm.  He’s not a great actor.  But we love him anyway.  Especially when he’s wearing a strong suit and wielding whatever weapon he can find.

Much of the action, before it gets old, does provide a stylish, sexy film - a film that can get brutal to the point of cringing on occasions, but… mostly stylish, and a little sexy.  John Wick: Chapter 2 also manages to feature a third act that surpasses the two that came before it.  (No spoiler talk, but it’s got an epic climax.  Seriously.)

Is it good, though?

Yeah.  It’s not amazing, but it’s not bad, either.  It was a decent way to spend two hours, and that’s more than I can say for a lot of films.

Rating: 6/10
REVIEW: The Space Between UsBy Quinn OxleyFebruary 3, 2017The first person born on Mars falls in love with a native Earthling.  Hilarity ensues.

Not so much hilarity, but more… frustration.

The Space Between Us is just… awkward.  Uncomfortable.  Not pleasant.  And it started out with a premise that had such promise, which makes it doubly disappointing.  I try not to judge a movie on what it could have been, but with this movie, it’s so hard not to.

We start with awkward exposition.  We move to awkward pacing, awkward blocking, and awkward dialogue.  We end with awkward resolution.  It’s not useless for entertainment, but it’s so.  Awkward.

Given, Gardner Elliot (Asa Butterfield, AKA the cutest human being alive, not biased) is not used to interacting with many others, but he hasn’t been living in complete isolation for sixteen years.  He becomes the most socially ignorant teenager I’ve ever seen.  And not in the charming way.  (It doesn’t help that his character is used to a different gravity, which makes his gait on- and off-planet laughable.)  Tulsa (Britt Robertson) is annoyingly bitter and flat until she makes a 180-degree turn for no real reason, after which point she’s annoyingly sentimental and flat.

The tone and scenes shift too rapidly for the audience to enjoy the narrative.  The Space Between Us develops unusually quickly, and not because it has too much of a story to tell, but because the movie seems to want to focus on arbitrary, seemingly less significant elements of the story.  The characters are poorly developed and consist of one dimension, making it hard to see any kind of relevant arc.

The premise, however, does provide some interesting thought exercises.  What would you appreciate more if you were experiencing it for the first time?  Maybe I’m just a romantic, but something about the film’s emotional appeal drew me in and got me thinking.

Is it good, though?

It’s not worth the $10, if that’s what you’re asking.  I don’t know if I’d even say it was worth renting.  Save yourself the two hours and instead just read a philosophy book to gain some perspective.

Rating: 3.5/10
REVIEW: GoldBy Quinn OxleyJanuary 28, 2017Usually, I try to give a movie as much credit as I can.  But when a movie gives you very little to work with, how much credit can really be given?

That’s how it felt to watch Gold.  Other than Matthew McConaughey’s being in it, I knew nothing going into it, so I had no expectations… and yet, somehow, I was disappointed.

Here’s what happens:
Down-on-his-luck prospector Kenny Wells (McConaughey) contracts geologist Michael Acosta (Édgar Ramírez) and invests his last dime in a possible gold mine in Indonesia.

Here’s why you should care:


(Notice how the list of reasons why you should care is empty.)

The first act contains almost nothing of value.  I mean, Matthew McConaughey is great as usual, and Bryce Dallas Howard carries her scenes as well, but it was so hard to care about what was happening, which is one of the worst offenses a movie can commit.

What makes things even more confusing is that the film wasn’t even terrible.  It wasn’t laughably bad, or dreadfully bad, it was just… unexciting.  It didn’t make me feel anything.  I think I got more enjoyment out of the vegetarian minestrone I had after watching the film.

The first act gives you almost nothing.  It does pick up as the film gets going, and the framing story makes you at least a bit curious, but it’s just so hard to get invested in these characters, which makes Gold a two-hour exercise in looking at a screen.

Is it good, though?

Not really.  I don’t feel the need to see it again.

Rating: 3.5/10
REVIEW: SplitBy Quinn OxleyJanuary 20, 2017Let’s get one thing straight – I’m not into horror movies.

Sure, I’m imbued with that curiosity for the morbid that comes in every human starter pack. But I’m not interested in paying to see a bunch of people die horribly. Not up for it. So it takes a bit more creativity than that to get me to the theater to see a film that falls into such a cate-gory (see what I did there?).

That being said, Split definitely delivers. For the most part.

The story itself – a man with twenty-three distinct identities and sinister intentions kidnaps three young women – is by far the most compelling element of the film, with McAvoy carrying the entirety of the intrigue on his shoulders. His character – or characters, I should say – and their contribution to the conflict make Split well worthwhile.

The tension builds excellently as M. Night creates a fascinating and formidable creature in Kevin (/Patricia/Dennis/Hedwig… etc.). His intense and erratic nature keeps the audience in a state of constant curiosity. We feel as though we’re also being held captive by this strange, terrifying man. McAvoy delivers what must have been an incredibly difficult performance, offering not just different accents, but different consistent mannerisms for each character – and it’s definitely one not to miss.

Some of the other elements of the film, however, were less than entrancing. Anya Taylor-Joy provides an interesting enough Casey, but Betty Buckley is… well, good at reading lines, I can tell. Her performance was a bit more rehearsed and less natural, which made it difficult to care much about her character. The ending – no major spoilers; don’t worry – was a bit of a letdown after such a buildup. It by no means ruins the film, but it’s an ending that just kind of… happens.

This is one film whose trailer I wish hadn’t given away so much. Experiencing the movie with less of an idea what was going to happen would have been remarkable; it’s likely this foreknowledge that makes the conclusion somewhat of a disappointment.

(The final seconds of the film, though, are mind-blowing, especially if you’re a fan of M. Night’s earlier work.)

I’m proud to say that M. Night is definitely on the upswing.

Rating: 7.5/10
REVIEW/RANT: A Series of Unfortunate Events (Netflix Series)By Quinn OxleyJanuary 19, 2017Moderate spoilers ahead.

I really, really, really wanted to like this series. After the first ten minutes of the first episode, I was near certain I was in for one of the most appalling screen experiences of my life, but the words of IMDb, Instagram, and Facebook users everywhere rang in my ears: “Best Netflix series ever.” “You must watch it.” “Reminded me why I loved the books.” Maybe it gets better, I thought. Hoped. Begged God with all my might.

It doesn’t get better.

“The best Netflix series ever?” Even a moderately entertaining series raises my eyebrow when it’s given such high praise. Have I fallen through a black hole and entered some universe where Stranger Things and Daredevil don’t exist? This, however, is semantics. Even if that opinion isn’t widely held (I’m not saying it isn’t; I just don’t know for sure), the series still has an 8.4/10 rating on IMDb, which is absurd.

I know I’m pretty much alone in my wildly negative opinion of the series. Why all the hate, you ask?

Well.

First of all, people are speaking so highly of this series largely because of its faithfulness to the books. People – not me, but people – were apparently disappointed with the film adaptation, and these same people are refreshed by how similar to Lemony Snicket’s written word the Netflix series is. However, the reason some things were changed – apart from time constraints – is because some things simply can’t be taken seriously on screen, especially if they’re executed poorly. Take, for example, the machine Violet uses to attempt to retrieve her sister from the hoisted cage. Her journey upward is ridiculously portrayed; the effects are pathetic. I understand the books were written for kids, so their plots are more fantastical than other Netflix series’ plots. I understand it’s a “family” show (more on that later), so there should be more of a tolerance for the unrealistic. But when arguing about the quality of the work, it’s hard to respect a production that’s so hammily done.

I don’t care what anyone says. There’s only one performance worth anything in this series, and that’s Patrick Warburton’s. (Admittedly, the framing of the story is actually fascinating; this is one element of the books that lends well to a unique adaptation. Warburton’s performance as Snicket aids in this framing technique.) It’s hard, though, to find good or even acceptable child actors, and it’s possible the casting directors just weren’t up to the task. I don’t think it’s unfair for me to say that both child actors are awful, and Tara Strong’s dubbed baby lines are very shoddily done. Neil Patrick Harris is acting for the back row – and I understand that his character is theatrical in nature, but his performance is so overblown that it’s distracting. Each guardian gives a kind of lackluster performance, save Alfre Woodard, though no performance could do justice to this writing.

Ah, yes. The writing. I hope you like being bludgeoned over the head with information. If you ever get confused, don’t worry! The characters will explain their every thought in the plainest English ever written. Did you forget what happened last episode? They’ll remind you – and they won’t show you; they’ll come right out and tell you. Not sure whether Count Olaf is the antagonist? Not a problem! They’ll make sure you don’t forget that he’s a terrible person who’ll do anything to get his hands on the children’s fortune. (Do the writers know any other word for a large sum of money than "fortune?") Uncertain about whether or not to feel sorry for the Baudelaire orphans? Fear not – they’ll make it known that they’re helpless and desperate. Again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

How was the end of that last paragraph? Irritating and needlessly repetitive? Now you know what it’s like to watch the show. There’s no grace. No tact. No subtlety. Inappropriate pacing. Some of the most ham-fisted dialogue I’ve ever heard. Like this excerpt from the first episode.

Violet: Mr. Poe must have made a horrible mistake when he took us here. There’s no way our parents would want us in Count Olaf’s care, if we can even call it that.

Klaus: As soon as Count Olaf’s back is turned, we need to leave this house. I’d rather take my chances on the street than stay here any longer.

Violet: Who knows what would happen to us on the street? At least here we have a roof over our head.

Klaus: (sigh) I wish our parents’ money could be used now instead of when you come of age. Then we could buy a castle and live in it with armed guards patrolling outside to keep out Count Olaf and his troupe.

Like I said, it doesn't get any better. Take this scene from the third episode.

Monty: So let me understand this. You are my new assistant, sent to me even though I didn’t ask for one, by the Scientific Society Seeking to Soothe Stress and Suffering?

Olaf (in disguise as Stephano): Yes. “SSSSSS” for short.

Monty: “SSSSSS?”

Olaf: Mmm, no. It’s “SSSSSS.”

Monty: “SSSSSS.”

Olaf: No. Listen to… “SSSSSS.”

Monty: Ah, yeah, uh… “SSSSSS.”

There is literally a scene where the entire punchline is Aasif Mandvi and Neil Patrick Harris making the “s” sound back and forth at each other for thirty seconds. Comedy gold, right? Yeah, no, I can think of something else to call this scene, and that word, too, starts with “s.” If this tripe were in an Adam Sandler movie, he would be vilified for producing his namesake garbage.

Let’s not talk about how terrifyingly creepy it is when Count Olaf tries to marry Violet. Actually, considering that this series is technically listed as a “family” series on IMDb, let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about how Melina Weissman is thirteen, but looks like she could be twelve, easily. Let’s talk about how it’s supposed to be creepy, sure, but the series WAY crosses the line and enters, like, freakish zones of creepy. Let’s talk about how Olaf looks down at her appreciatingly and coos, “You’re such a lovely girl,” and how, in defiance to Klaus, he puts his hand on Violet’s shoulder, caresses it, and mews, “I’ll touch anything I want.” Let’s talk about the nightmares and the chills and the EEEWWWWWWWWWWW.

Sure. It’s a family show.

I could go on, but this review has already long surpassed the usual length. In a nutshell, I was left hugely disappointed. But I’m the only one who seems to take this stance, so I suppose my opinion’s not worth much more than a pot of puttanesca when everyone else wants roast beef.
REVIEW: Patriots DayBy Quinn OxleyJanuary 14, 2017Once in a great while, a movie has such a hold on you that when it lets go, you can’t help but cry. I’ve seen three such films in my life.

Die Hard.

Captain Phillips.

And Patriots Day.

I tend to feel strange critiquing films that focus on true-to-life tragedies. Apart from Mark Wahlburg’s and Michelle Monaghan’s fictional characters, nearly every aspect of the film has a direct correlation to the reality of the Boston marathon bombing. That, combined with the film’s remarkable execution, makes Patriots Day an incredibly powerful film.

The story jumps back and forth between various players in the day’s events, which is probably the film’s biggest fault. It’s obvious that all of these lives will intertwine somehow. But, introducing so many characters in the first twenty minutes of the film, while including on-screen text for some things and not others, makes the film’s early scenes somewhat difficult to follow.

Other than that, though, Patriots Day has little to complain about and a lot for which to be commended. How refreshing to see a film based on a true story without some kind of heavy-handed political bias. The only ideologies at war in this film are love and hate, plain and simple – and war it is. As mentioned, its sense of tension is palpable to the tune of me, during one scene, gasping for air as I realized I’d forgotten to breathe. Mark Wahlberg, J.K. Simmons, John Goodman, Kevin Bacon, Michelle Monaghan – every namable actor and most not so well by name – everyone contributed to the incredible tribute this film is to those affected by the tragedy, and the law enforcement who were called upon to serve above and beyond in the wake of it. Try not to walk out of the theater feeling deeply moved and inspired.

I don’t believe my usual question (“Is it good?”) even needs asking; I’ve made my opinion quite clear.

See it.

Rating: 8/10
Bri's Favorites of 2016By Quinn OxleyDecember 31, 2016Alright, boys and girls. It’s the last day of 2016, which means only one thing here at ScreenFellas – it’s time to put down the popcorn and get nostalgic. 2016, despite being a pretty awful year in general, gave us some pretty great films; here are five of my personal favorites. (Keep in mind – I’ve only been with the ScreenFellas since November, so my list won’t be nearly as diverse as those from the rest of the team.)

5. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Man, February feels like so long ago. It didn’t do very well, but this film, to me, is the perfect guilty pleasure. Personally, I’m not always a big fan of period pieces, but when they have swords and zombies and Sam Riley, I’m all there. Lily James was an epic Elizabeth Bennet. Mr. Darcy’s coat just does something for me.

4. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. It wasn’t as good as last year’s The Force Awakens, but it was another very firm step for the newly-managed Lucasfilm. It gave the fans hope for future installments. It’s also just an incredibly enjoyable film with an enrapturing cast and robot that steals the show.

3. Arrival. While there are others higher on this list that I prefer for reasons based only on preference, Arrival was the best film I saw this year, which earns it a spot well into my top ten favorites of this year. Subtle. Beautiful. Execute expertly. Captivating. Original. 10/10, would recommend.

2. Captain America: Civil War. The airport scene. Enough said. (Seriously though, I saw it five times in theaters. One of the best MCU films to date.)

1. Doctor Strange. (Once again, this is a personal favorites list, so bias is irrelevant.) Being a huge MCU fan and an even huger Benedict Cumberbatch (swoon) fan, I was languishing in the waiting when I found out Cumberbatch (swoon) would be playing Marvel’s master magician. The trailer only compounded my anticipation, and boy did the film deliver. Between the insane special effects, the charming humor, the redemption arc, and Cumberbatch’s (swoon) everything, it was by far my favorite film of the year. Yes, I know the plot is formulaic. I don’t care.

Here’s to an awesome 2017!
REVIEW: PassengersBy Quinn OxleyDecember 24, 2016Being an introvert, the idea of waking up alone on a huge spaceship sounds like the perfect life. Being alone on a huge spaceship with Chris Pratt is a pretty close second, though.

30 years into the 120-year migration to the earthlike Homestead II, mechanic Jim Preston is accidentally awakened from stasis. Unable to go back to sleep, he must deal with the crushing loneliness that solitude heaps upon him – until, of course, he happens upon an idea…

Passengers starts off with an enveloping first act; the world in which these characters exist is immersive and gorgeous to look at. Quite frankly, the setting is a large part of what makes the film enjoyable. The second act, though, hobbles on somewhat of an uneven footing, and the third act devolves into a kind of paint-by-numbers project. Still relatively entertaining, given; just predictable. It could have been less so with a perspective change, but I suppose I can’t fault a film for what it didn’t do, creatively speaking.

Aside from the setting, the film’s largest asset is the ethical dilemma it presents you with. Without giving anything away, much of the tension derives from an intriguing moral situation in which the protagonist finds himself, and the thought-provoking question behind it is enough to get your mind whirring. The movie asks a lot of questions that it expects the audience to answer for themselves.

On the subject of the protagonists, we have a fascinating dichotomy in our two leads. Chris Pratt, despite playing a fantastically boring Jim Preston, still carries his signature charm and, somehow, reveals his acting talent as never before. Aurora Lane, however, could have been a much more interesting character if she was written a bit better, and, perhaps, portrayed by someone other than Jennifer Lawrence. (I’m sorry, JLaw. You’ve done better.)

Is it good, though?

It’s not bad. It’s not great, and it could have been better, but it’s not bad.

Rating: 6/10

SPOILERS: Chris Pratt just can’t get those space suits to work properly, can he? Poor guy had trouble in Guardians of the Galaxy, too.
REVIEW: SingBy Quinn OxleyDecember 22, 2016Now I just want to watch The Lego Movie.

Theater mogul Buster Moon must put on a singing contest… for some reason? I suppose it’s to save his theater, but that’s not made clear, exactly. This contest brings the community together, and carries the characters through their various difficulties.

Some modern animated movies – Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Storks, the aforementioned Lego Movie – have an original plot, voice talent that illuminates the writing, and excellent grasp on this generation’s sense of humor. This is what turns an animated movie into an instant classic. And this is what Sing is lacking.

Alright, so the movie had an excellent cast. It made a nice change to hear Matthew McConaughey speak without languishing in the lower octaves. ScarJo, Seth MacFarlane (boy can he sing), Reese Witherspoon, and Taron Egerton (longing sigh) all have their parts to play, as well as at least ten more namable actors in bit parts.

However, its cast is pretty much the only thing remarkable about Sing. It wasn’t a bad film, but it wasn’t… memorable. At all. The plot is fairly color-by-numbers. Regarding the characters, there came a point in the film where one character’s arc resumed and I legitimately thought, “Oh, I forgot about them.” The high point of the music was the original ”Under Pressure,” which played over a montage; most of the rest (save MacFarlane’s and Tori Kelly’s performances) reminds me too much of Kidz Bop to be enjoyable.

One more thing not in this film’s favor was this year’s release of Zootopia. While it wasn’t my personal favorite, Zootopia enchanted audiences earlier in 2016 and remains to this day on the list of the Internet Movie Database’s 250 highest-rated movies of all time. This being the current benchmark for movies centering on a society of anthropomorphic animals, anything else doing the same without the charm will pale in comparison. As an adult viewer, I was left pretty confused as to why this story had to be told with animals.

Is it good, though?

It’s fine, if you’re looking for safe family entertainment. It’s got an interesting and heartfelt portrayal of characters in difficult life situations, for a kids’ film; that’s something to be said for it. But don’t expect to be much enthralled or inspired.

Rating: 5/10
REVIEW: Rogue One: A Star Wars StoryBy Quinn OxleyDecember 16, 2016Rogue One. Where to even begin? Or, more importantly, where to go that I don’t spoil anything for the readers?

Between Darth Vader giving us the melodramatic “no” meme and Luke Skywalker giving us the “points most dangerous weapon in galaxy directly at face” meme, the Empire begins construction of a mysterious, staggeringly powerful weapon known as the Death Star. The rebels (oddly enough) don’t like that one bit, so they have to steal the plans to this Death Star. This is the plot of Rogue One.

There’s something fascinating about knowing the grand context of a film. We know what’s just happened in this universe; not much setup is required. We know the consequences of their actions; there’s not much intrigue as to whether or not they’ll be successful. What this film sets out to do is illuminate the intersection of several new characters with the Star Wars that we know and love.

And yes, it does that. And yes, it’s amazing.

Okay, maybe “amazing” is an overstatement, but it’s far, far away from the disappointment most of us shouldered with the prequel trilogy. I tend to get lost in space battles that go on for extended periods of time, but other than that (completely preference-related) nitpick, I adored this movie. Without giving much away, all I can say is that it’s more of what people love about Star Wars. Interesting characters; enveloping atmosphere; compelling emotional dynamics; callbacks to earlier films; camera cutaways to monstrous creatures; spot-on comedy (Alan Tudyk is a gift to this film and mankind); and attention-stealing action.

I loved it. My friends loved it. My family loved it. The public loves it.

You’ll love it.

Rating: 8.5/10
REVIEW: Miss SloaneBy Quinn OxleyDecember 12, 2016Sorry, guys, I would write the review for Miss Sloane, but I’ve still got a headache from when I first saw the film. Their bias hits you over the head pretty hard.

Elizabeth Sloane is a commanding and influential lobbyist trying to get a bill passed that requires background checks on anyone trying to purchase firearms. She’ll do whatever she has to in order to win.

The message of the film boils down to this: politicians are corrupt, and the system is broken. Even if your intentions are pure, you must pull whatever strings you can in order to get anything done. I have to applaud the film for acknowledging on a base level that perfect people don’t exist on either side of the aisle.

However, it’s no secret that Hollywood is a remarkably liberal society of artists who use their platform to influence public opinion in that direction. Anyone walking into a big-budget political thriller about gun control legislation is going to know the movie’s stance on the subject. And most probably understand that it’s going to come at them pretty heavy-handedly. This movie’s no exception, and this is news to no one.

So, then, why watch the movie, if not to experience a thought-provoking discourse on the subject at hand? To be inspired as an original character wins over her opponents? Well, yes and no. Jessica Chastain is certainly a powerhouse, and her Elizabeth Sloane is not a character found commonly in modern cinema – a driven, ruthless woman who’s always the most intelligent and calculated person in the room. That much is fascinating. There’s one problem: she’s just about the most unsympathetic, unlikeable person you’d have the misfortune of knowing. She just wants to win. Unless you’re into the gun control debate hardcore, you have no reason to root for her.

It’s Sloane’s complete lack of likeability or care for others that adds a nonsensical quality to the ending of the film. Then again, that’s not saying much, because the ending is already pretty ridiculous in its own right.

Is it good, though?

Maybe I’m just not into political thrillers. Maybe I just don’t like feeling manipulated by a movie. Maybe a lot of the dialogue just went way over my head. Chastain's performance, as well as authentic performances by Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Mark Strong, and Jake Lacey, prop up a plot that is interesting at times, but hard to engage with. In answer to the question, I would give a resounding… eh? Kind of.

Rating: 5/10
Rogue One PredictionBy JesseDecember 11, 2016Alright folks. Rogue One is upon us, and it’s time for some speculation. At Screenfellas, we’re really excited for this next addition to the Star Wars universe and many of us will be at the theater, lightsabers and popcorn in hand, on Thursday! With this movie coming and adding a different genre to the iconic series, there are some of us who aren’t sure what to expect, so naturally our imaginations run wild. What will happen in this quest to steal the Death Star plans?
Firstly, we know they’re successful. If they weren’t, there would be no New Hope. The real question here is, what will it cost the team? I think that, at best, only a few will live through the film. More than likely, the whole team will die trying to stop the glorious and powerful Empire. I truly hope this is one of the first times we see the Empire in its full might as they strike down a group of tantrum-throwing cry-babies.
Following this hope of seeing the glory of the Empire, the Screenfellas are not alone in wanting to see Vader go all-out. We have seen him fight and heard of how afraid everyone is of him, but these two never seem to match up. Now may just be his time to shine; we might finally see Darth Vader strike fear in the hearts of all those who dare defy him.
It also looks like we will see how the “average Joe” sees the galaxy. We have always seen the Star Wars universe through the eyes of giants – the Empire, the Jedi, senators, or what have you. I am very excited to see how normal soldiers and citizens view this diverse universe that has been built for us. The Screenfellas team is ecstatic about this movie and we will be sure to have plenty of content about it coming soon!
REVIEW: Manchester by the SeaBy Quinn OxleyDecember 10, 2016I wish I could open this review with the epic, chilling choral piece that opens the film. Just image you’re hearing some altos and tenors harmonize in G-minor.

Avoidant-introvert extraordinaire Lee Chandler is a Bostonian handyman who spends his days fixing toilets and ceiling fans – until his brother, Joe, passes away from a chronic illness. Joe’s teenage son, Patrick, is suddenly without a guardian, and this responsibility falls on Lee, who is recovering from a loss of his own.

It sounds kind of like the summary of a Hallmark movie. Or like one of those Good Will Hunting-types where a haunted young boy finds an unlikely father figure who shows him how to love again. That’s definitely not how I’d describe this film.

Casey Affleck’s Lee comes off as walking a thin line between brilliantly stoic and entirely apathetic; his performance is up to interpretation. Lucas Hedges portrays a surprisingly complex Patrick, and Michelle Williams, while an emotionally effective Randi, has less screen time than the actual sea does. These performances, amongst lesser characters with powerful parts (such as Kyle Chandler’s Joe), drive the film.

In addition to the performances, the film’s realism make it notable. It’s rare that a film achieves the level of realism reached here. Everything about the film grounds it in reality, be it the shot perspective, the line execution and conversation dynamics, or the slow, even pacing. People talk over each other. They forget where their cars are parked. There are unfunny awkward silences and there is ugly-crying. This our world, and it’s the world of Manchester by the Sea.

Its realism is the film’s greatest asset; they’re real people in the real world, so we care about them. When disaster strikes, it strikes us, too. We want to see them overcome their pain – or, at least, become stronger by it. And we do.

Is it good, though?

It depends on what you go in wanting. The plot isn’t melodramatic or flashy in any way; it doesn’t have the standard narrative structure of a modern movie. This film won’t satisfy everyone. Don’t expect to be dazzled or wooed. Don’t even expect to learn something profound. Just be prepared to watch real people recoil from real tragedy, try to make sense of what’s left of their lives, and grow a little in the process. If that sounds like a good two hours to you, by all means, enjoy Manchester by the Sea.

Rating: 7/10
Incarnate ReviewBy Old BobDecember 8, 2016What can you say about Incarnate? Not much that’s good, I’ll tell you that. If you’re looking for a movie to just sit in and waste an hour and a half, I’d recommend Incarnate. On the other hand, if you would like to spend an hour and a half of your life enjoying yourself, I’d recommend almost anything else.

Let’s start with the characters. At the beginning of the movie, you just get thrown into the lives of a boy and his mother, who’s played by Melisandre from Game of Thrones. (In my eyes, she has no real name, she’s just Melisandre.) I guess you could say a girl has no name. Boom. Nailed it. They’re carrying groceries into their apartment and, quite frankly, the most interesting thing about these characters is what food they have. We get a little backstory about them and they try to get us to care about them. Too bad it doesn’t work. The backstory is just too clichéd to matter to anyone. For about five minutes, the film feels like a heartwarming story about a mother and her son trying to make it in the world. Then, the kid gets possessed out of nowhere and – boom – now, I guess, it’s a horror movie.

The next scene is kind of out of place with Aaron Eckhart playing super cool random guy in the club. Turns out he’s getting rid of a demon. Fine, I’ll let it slide. Aaron Eckhart saves the guy and then he wakes up, or exits his mind, or whatever, that part isn’t super clear. When he wakes up, we find out he’s in a wheelchair, but at no point do we end up loving him like he’s Lieutenant Dan. The whole wheelchair thing was kind of lost on me, if I’m being honest.

Now that Harvey Dent is back from the Further, his assistant comes in, and right away all you think is, “Hey, this kid was the gay son in Wedding Crashers.” I mention this because that role is nowhere near iconic, which just tells you how bad this film is at making you care about the characters. After this guy is introduced, I’m just hoping Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn will show up to save the movie. Aaron Eckhart and his assistant talk about how deep he goes to get the demons out and then they mention some specific demon that apparently is very important to them. Okay, cool, whatever… you’re not doing anything to make me care.

All of the sudden, there’s a lady from the Vatican downstairs and that’s literally everything about her. She has no backstory and I don’t even remember hearing her name said once. The main point for her character was to need Eckhart to do something, then just disagree with him. She was “that person,” but, then, so was Aaron Eckhart’s best friend, at times. Boo, horrible.

Oh, wait; I forgot the kid has a dad that isn’t around, so now they have to find him. Guess who it is? A guy who only reminds you of the other roles he’s played. The generic deadbeat dad is played by Matt Nable, who is probably best known as Ra’s Al Ghul from the DC Arrowverse. The best way to describe him in this movie is, “a waste of space and a good way to fill time;” although, honestly that’s a good way to describe all the characters.

After an hour and a half, not a single character does anything to make you care at all about how their lives end up.

Now, for the plot…a shoulder, shrug, and half-hearted “meh” would perfectly describe the plot. Does everything resolve itself? Yeah; put a check in that box. Does the story flow and make sense? Pretty much; one thing leads to another and all that stuff. Does the plot draw you in and fascinate you? Ha; not at all. At times, the story feels thin, and at other times, you get the feeling that the writers were trying too hard.

Overall, you could make the case that the story was kind of original, but in the end, it made no difference. To wrap this up, don’t see Incarnate unless you want to zone out and question your life choices. People will forget this movie even came out in about 8 hours, so don’t even bother seeing it.
Rating: 3.2
Welcome to ScreenFellas ArticlesBy Zack MarronNovember 28, 2016Welcome to ScreenFellas Articles. This website is the home of our exclusive TV and movie textual content, including reviews, comments on upcoming films and television shows, and other thoughts pertaining to the entertainment industry! 2016 © ScreenFellas Entertainment